Friend of P

I have googled every possible thing I could to try to figure this out. This happened either on comedy bang bang podcast or improv4humans. There was a musical guest on one of those podcasts where they performed a song that him and his wife/girl friend wrote about their perspective of breaking up with each other. I keep hearing snippets of it in my head but I can’t remember who performed it or where to find it. Please help.

Nothings sadder than when you order Chinese take out for one and then you get home open up the bag and realize they gave you 3 sets of plastic ware 3 fortune cookies and enough napkins to supply a build a bear workshop with stuffing for maybe a full calendar year

Okay! So what if we take some bats and we breed them with some pigeons and we make some bigeons and then we take those and breed them with a kangaroo and then BAM! No more racism.

This is related to a true story in my life but let’s pretend like it’s not

Ever just have a fart so big that it’s actually a poop? oh prom.

You can’t say heck in any eastern country?

If “Jealousy, infidelity, envy Cheating to beating, envy and to the G they be the same thing” means what I think it does then I have no idea what OutKast was talking about.

Don’t get it in your tip. tis not a friendly dip. ouch.

If you give a man a fish he will eat for a day if you turn a man into a fish what the fuck was that?! back up dude! no get back! You JUST turned Jeremy into a fish! What do you mean don’t be afraid?! I don’t know man .. I just don’t know you anymore come on Jeremy let’s get outta here

If you ever have to have a friend on your side when getting into a bar fight make sure your friend is a knife. You can’t stab a knife.

pahk the cah in Hahvad Yahd more like park the car in Harvard yard im a tourist

Yo momma is so fat! that I’m genuinely worried about her health

Every time I go to a website I keep accepting their cookies. They don’t even care that I’m diabetic.

I’m not an actor I just play one in the operating room.

I’ve been taking photography classes I don’t want to be a photographer I just really enjoy hanging pictures up on strings In a poorly lit room.