StopEatingBees

So long Charleston, I'm not wild about your dance but you make one hell of a chew

A Crippling Fear Of The Unknown: It's not just for breakfast anymore

Throw that Urkel in a circle

I'm not fat, I'm just heavy with denial

If Jesus were white they'd have probably just let him go

I feel like even a one-nation army would stand a pretty good chance of repelling Jack White

When there was only one stream of bubbles, it was then that I was drowning you

The Washington Monument is a nice dick building, but for me, it's all about Van Buren's Chode

If there's infinite parallel universes, there must be one where there aren't any parallel universes, which means WE'RE that universe. Do we have any more pot

McGruff takes a bite out of crime. It's meaty. Flavorful. Decadent. He can't go back to kibble. Not now.

Bob Barker loves tantric sex because he can get as close as possible without going over

Climate change isn't going to kill us all. I myself am going to be pushed off a building by a robot with human emotions

I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't payin' for those glass slippers

Do you think Gallagher ever brought a baby out just to mess with the first three rows

I can talk to animals, but only in the language of love. Or German

Like my grandma always said, "Gary Busey, hairy pusey"

I'm ok with throwing away old material but I wouldn't wanna lose this work of ART

I'm a lot like the moon. I may look rough on the surface, but on the inside, I'm full of secret mole people

Samuel L. Jackson brand paper towels are the quicker, thicker motherfucker

You can tell she wants you by the soft tremble in her voice as she leans in and whispers, "Moo."

Instead of always taking one step forward and two steps back, boost your productivity and progress by staying put

Sorry I'm out of breath, I heard Barney was gobbling Fred's fruity pebbles and I just ran right over, but this isn't what I imagined

Am I having sex with a drill? Of course not! I'm doing a bit.

Nah, I'm not allowed within 500 ft of the zoo anymore

I always burp before I walk past strangers, so my one "excuse me" can cover both transgressions