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StopEatingBees

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Everything posted by StopEatingBees

  1. StopEatingBees
    Well now that's a philosophical rabbit hole
  2. StopEatingBees
    Gimme another hit of acid, I'm only tripping ball
  3. StopEatingBees
    I don't know when I bought that milk in my fridge, but the kid on the carton is definitely old enough to be missing by now
  4. StopEatingBees
    Apparently my password can't be "Life Goes On" because it doesn't have any special characters. Uh, hello, yes it did?
  5. StopEatingBees
    Give a man enough rope and he'll hang himself. TEACH a man enough rope and he'll also jerk off about it.
  6. StopEatingBees
    My wife just learned she swallows 8 spiders in bed every year. Congratulations, spiders, I wouldn't know the feeling
  7. StopEatingBees
    I used to think orgies would be confusing, but I've become familiar with all the ins and outs
  8. StopEatingBees
    If I had a nickel for every time I pooped out a nickel, I could finally stop double-eating all these poop nickels
  9. StopEatingBees
    I'll show you why all my jack-o'-lanterns look surprised just as soon as the trick-or-treaters go home
  10. StopEatingBees
    I guess asking my doctor "is it in yet" says more about my asshole than it does about his finger
  11. StopEatingBees
    "We, The People?" Real descriptive, guys. Good luck with your "country."
  12. StopEatingBees
    If you're going through hell, keep going. Super Hell is next and it's WAY more metal.
  13. StopEatingBees
    It's not advertised, but if you slide a $20 across the exam table the doctor WILL kiss whatever boo-boos you have
  14. StopEatingBees
    All rice is instant rice if you like it dry & crunchy
  15. StopEatingBees
    There were plenty of navy blue Smurfs in that village, but none ever made it on camera. Racism.
  16. StopEatingBees
    She said "settle in," I heard "acetylene." Maybe her house wouldn't have burned down if she spoke clearly.
  17. StopEatingBees
    "Do as thou wilt" shall be the hole of my butt
  18. StopEatingBees
    If "ifs" and "buts" were candy and nuts, we'd all have crunchy conjunctions
  19. StopEatingBees
    Like a good neighbor, State Farm pretends not to smell all that pot you're smoking
  20. StopEatingBees
    There are some things money can't buy. For everything else, there's theft
  21. StopEatingBees
    If you're happy and you know it, give it time
  22. StopEatingBees
    Hush little baby, don't say a word, I'm way too high for that sort of conversation
  23. StopEatingBees
    Kiss begins with Kay, you see, but every piss begins with Pee
  24. StopEatingBees
    Hey diddle diddle, the cat and the fiddle, call the hospital, I'm clearly tripping balls
  25. StopEatingBees
    How many of those melons you think Gallagher had sex with before the show? It isn't none.
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