StopEatingBees

I took your advice and shook what my mama gave me. RIP, baby bro, gone too soon

With great doubt, comes great diggity

Put it in, Coach, I'm ready to gay. For pay.

It must've sucked being Adam & Eve. No one to cheat on each other with.

You can't fit a square peg in a round hole, but keep trying, I'm almost there

I named my hedge trimmers Corey because they really munch bush. My name is also Corey.

If me and my evil clone get mixed up and you've gotta decide who to shoot, put down the gun. Why do you always try to shoot all your problems

Girls don't fart. What you heard were probably just butt queefs.

Sounds so much dirtier somehow

Why did the chicken cross the road? This is no time for jokes, my dad's dead!

If you were a real sandwich artist, you'd start working on like 9 other sandwiches before you even CONSIDERED finishing mine

She was a subtle abomination, like a chicken omelette, or an hourglass

It can't be much longer until the Pokemon figure out they can just kill us all

I used to have a superiority complex, but I'm better now

Every sexual experience is an orgy if you count the millions of microscopic tardigrades getting laid in your eyebrows

Oh, you like Garfield? Name 5 lasagnae

Look to your left. Now look to your right. Neither of those people exist, you crazy bitch

Girl, you make it hard to be faithful, with the lips of a bagel

Sure I'm getting the milk for free, but I have to buy the cow or they won't let me make love to her

Look on my works, ye mighty, and despair! Dis pair of nuts!

Maybe the head that wears the crown wouldn't be so heavy if you didn't keep skipping Neck Day at the gym

The Devil whispered in my ear, "You're not strong enough to survive the storm." Instant boner. Damn he's sexy.

They sit at the bar and put bread in my jar, and say "How'd a duck learn to play piano?"

I found the clit but the instructions are all in Swedish

Hey, are you the 90° part of a right triangle? Because your two friends are a-cute