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StopEatingBees

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Everything posted by StopEatingBees

  1. StopEatingBees
    The way to a woman's heart isn't the pink OR the stink, it's the mind. Find a way to finger THAT and you're in
  2. StopEatingBees
    Peppa Pig can go to hell. This isn't a catchphrase
  3. StopEatingBees
    Oh, you like The Smiths? Forge me a claymore.
  4. StopEatingBees
    Moment of silence for my balls, who died valiantly in the Shrivel War
  5. StopEatingBees
    Kneel before Zod, except after C
  6. StopEatingBees
    Haven't seen any crazy straws in a while. Damn political correctness
  7. StopEatingBees
    I'm just saying crazy stuff now so I can seamlessly transition to senility later on
  8. StopEatingBees
    I bought a pedometer but it just keeps flashing the word "probably"
  9. StopEatingBees
    Dunston Checks In, but he doesn't check out
  10. StopEatingBees
    I told her to treat me like a Shake Weight, she put me in the closet for 8 months
  11. StopEatingBees
    For Sale: Baby shoes. I make baby shoes.
  12. StopEatingBees
    If you throw a boomerang just after you're born, it'll return just before you die of your cool new boomerang wound.
  13. StopEatingBees
    The shark begged for chum, and I chame all over his face
  14. StopEatingBees
    It's funny that they call this pudding, because I'm "pudding" it in my butt
  15. StopEatingBees
    Be sure to use a condom when smuggling cocaine, and only when smuggling cocaine
  16. StopEatingBees
    It's not chivalry, it's chigiorno
  17. StopEatingBees
    I hope Solomon measured twice
  18. StopEatingBees
    Just saw the How It's Made episode on beef jerky, pretty cut & dry
  19. StopEatingBees
    I guess Batman is cool to be out all night because he doesn't have a bedtime anymore
  20. StopEatingBees
    When Jesus was washing his 12 Apostles' feet, how do you think he hid his boner
  21. StopEatingBees
    In the land of the blind, the one-eyed man wonders why there's so many traffic lights
  22. StopEatingBees
    What loving God would harden our wieners in the morning while weakening our hands
  23. StopEatingBees
    In my culture, an empty bottle is its own message.
  24. StopEatingBees
    You chicks think your pussies are soooo great.
  25. StopEatingBees
    Just did all my sock laundry, now I gotta toss in a Plan B pill with the next load
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