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StopEatingBees

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Everything posted by StopEatingBees

  1. What happens when an unstoppable force meets an immovable object? They fall in love.
  2. You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch, but I just can't stay mad at those balls
  3. Being in love means never having to say "thank God you inherited your father's buttocks"
  4. You either die a space cowboy or you live long enough to see yourself become Maurice
  5. I like my coffee the way I like my women: Fancy as hell, 9 feet tall, probably a vampire
  6. The enemy of my enemy is my double enemy. Like, wow, screw that guy.
  7. There are two wolves inside you. Also two geese and two sacks of grain. Good luck crossing the river now, bitch
  8. Sometimes you have to get blinded by the light to know how it feels to be wrapped up like a douche
  9. Here comes Goofus with the steel chair! OH! Gallant is down! Where the hell is the ref?
  10. Mister Sandman, grill me a cheese (yum yum yum yum)
  11. Cauliflower is just broccoli hiding from the cops
  12. There once was a man from Nantucket. Once.
  13. What do you call a fish with no eyes? Whatever you want, he's deaf too.
  14. It's like 10,000 flutes when all you need is a fife
  15. Personally I'm still pissed that the sequel to Garfield wasn't called 2 Cats 2 Curious
  16. This crystal will ward off evil spirits, and this one will tell Chipotle's burrito artists that you know guacamole is extra
  17. But soft! What light through yonder window breaks? Move outta the way bitch, I'm tryna scope out this light.
  18. Hate to be a bummer but all those fireflies in Owl City's jar are definitely dead by now
  19. Your body is a wonderland. Deeply confusing. Full of drugs. Is that a caterpillar?
  20. Money, it's a load, I'm all right bro, keep your hands off of my Doge
  21. Come for the disco, stay for the panic, just close the goddamn door
  22. Pinocchio's first poop must've been some kinda event
  23. I tied 200 million other sperm's shoelaces together for this?
  24. The fourth little pig built his house on rock n' roll
  25. Mothman be good, Mothman be better Mothman stop eating my cashmere sweater
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