StopEatingBees

Bye-bye, Miss American Pie, drove my Chevy to the levee but the levee was pie my Chevy was pie and all my whiskey was pie what just, loving God would do this?

Truth be told, I'd prefer a milkshake that kept all the boys the hell off my lawn

Hey girl, are you an angel? Because I don't believe in you and neither does your father

Sorry Ninja Turtles, I prefer my heroes in an entire shell

There's nothing small about THIS pox, baby

If you play Dark Side of the Moon while watching Titanic, it totally sinks

Guaranteed fresh or we'll suck yo dick!

Sunshine on my shoulders makes me happy, but moonshine in my butthole makes you sexy

I know you have to pee-pee, but I refuse to let you go

Early to bed and early to rise Makes a man reckless breakfast with fries

Frankenstein's Monster just got their PhD. What now, assholes?

Don't you just hate when you try to deliver a baby and it turns out to be DiGiorno

The concept of hope, Gwyneth Paltrow's head, and a transmortal cat walk into a box

I stuck my dick in the pickle slicer at work today. I got fired, plus it sliced my dick off.

It's not technically cheating if you're in another zip code, and you're single, and she's one of those Fleshlights with a mustache

Not my circus, not my monkeys. Not my elephants. A few of the clowns are mine.

I can't remember who sings Don't You Forget About Me, now I'm not even sure who I've failed

You miss 100% of the shots you don't drink

When you knock on wood, you fist bump everyone that piece of wood has ever knocked with

There can be no good without evil, no light without darkness, no diggity without doubt

Snoop Dogg rubs the lotion on his skin because he don't love the hose

Gynecologists are docs who never think outside the box

I don't practice Santeria, because I'm already great at it.

If yesterday is history, and tomorrow is a mystery, today is the taint of human existence

When you're climbing up a ladder And you feel something splatter Onomatopoeia