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StopEatingBees

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Everything posted by StopEatingBees

  1. StopEatingBees
    Man, bolt cutters don't SAY that they're dick cutters, but I guess they're a tool of many talents
  2. StopEatingBees
    Breastfeeding may be better for the baby but at least I can stare at formula with a vacant gaze and nobody calls 911
  3. StopEatingBees
    The dish ran away with the spoon. Good to find out she's a whore before our wedding date, but it still hurts.
  4. StopEatingBees
    My body is a Wonderland, now make like Alice
  5. StopEatingBees
    The Mask, but it's just Jim Carrey hallucinating his own cartoon antics while being genuinely shot
  6. StopEatingBees
    This is the way the world ends, not with a bang but a jerkoff
  7. StopEatingBees
    Let's make like a tree and allow small rodents to nest in our holes
  8. StopEatingBees
    I'm like a banana - if you peel my skin off and throw it on the floor, you could slip & hurt yourself
  9. StopEatingBees
    If we weren't supposed to eat babies, God wouldn't have made them delicious
  10. StopEatingBees
    If you hate garlic, you're not invited into my house whether you're a vampire or not
  11. StopEatingBees
    Your first genie wish should be for him to kick himself in the nuts. That way, maybe he won't grant your second wish ironically.
  12. StopEatingBees
    Thought I felt something on my dick just now, but I guess it was just God's eyes
  13. StopEatingBees
    Maybe this is the one, the one I won't come back from
  14. StopEatingBees
    Peter Piper drank a pack of Dr. Peppers
  15. StopEatingBees
    Righty-tighty, lefty-loosey, tighty-whitey, Gary Busey
  16. StopEatingBees
    Can't, too busy removing Waldo from all your kid's Waldo books
  17. StopEatingBees
    The bottomless steak fries at Red Robin weren't wearing panties sure enough, but somehow I still feel misled.
  18. StopEatingBees
    Do they make a butt plug that's also a fishing pole or am I gonna have to get crafty
  19. StopEatingBees
    On the 4th day of Christmas, here's 4 more goddamn birds
  20. StopEatingBees
    Girl, are you a Greek goddess, because your tits are out and your arms are gone
  21. StopEatingBees
    Hi, I'm Jim Morrison, and this is my dad, Morris Jimsdad
  22. StopEatingBees
    Just drank a pot of coffee. I'm still tired, but at least my turds are motivated.
  23. StopEatingBees
    Avoidhavingsexwithgrapefruitorgrapefruitjuice
  24. StopEatingBees
    If a hot goblin king with a huge dong ever kidnaps me, maybe just mind your business.
  25. StopEatingBees
    Is that what that is
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