Jump to content
🔒 The Earwolf Forums are closed Read more... ×

StopEatingBees

Members
  • Content count

    819
  • Joined

  • Last visited

  • Days Won

    29

Everything posted by StopEatingBees

  1. Help, a guy fooled me twice within a matter of seconds and I'm not sure who to shame on
  2. StopEatingBees

    It's been

    It's been
  3. Baloney is just Meat Roll-Ups, and personally, I'm ready for some Meat By The Foot to hit the market
  4. Shave the proposal into your chest hair, then make her fish the engagement ring out of your wild, unkempt bush
  5. The best three things to buy together are ipecac, laxatives, and a stopwatch
  6. I was gonna go to college, but in the end, I just put a little mercury in everyone else's coffee instead.
  7. Man, you know what's hot? Titties.
  8. Vegetables are good in stew, but some fit best inside of you
  9. Beethoven's 7th Symphony is incredible overall, but his 2nd Movement is the shit
  10. The Kinder Egg is both chocolate AND curiosity, and as such, it's got the skills to kill ALL your pets.
  11. I'd imagine the statute of limitations has already expired for whoever let the dogs out in 2000
  12. Therapist just showed me 8 pictures of his butthole. He said they're ink blots but I know b-hole when I see it
  13. Daughter just lost her first tooth! That'll teach her to shut up while I'm watching Ant-Man
  14. If man were meant to have sex, God would've gave him a wiener. Wait, you guys all got wieners? What the hell, God?
  15. Bees dance to communicate because any misinformation would spell disaster for the hive, and everyone knows hips don't lie
  16. I had melted breakfast cheese in my mustache for four hours and none of y'all told me
  17. Why would I limit myself to one burial site when there's chainsaws
  18. You had me at "you're just my type," then you lost me at "oh na na na na."
  19. It takes different strokes to move the world, which is why I switch hands every 30 seconds. You're welcome, world.
  20. Shall I compare thee to a summer's day? No. Who asks that?
  21. As God is my witness, my dog pissed on gymnasts
  22. Mommy and Daddy, sittin' in a tree, G-E-T-T-I-N-G. Divorced.
  23. Folks who don't want DC to become a state are ok, but I find the pro-state much more stimulating
  24. StopEatingBees

    Buttholes (& Plugs)

    Listen to Buttholes (& Plugs).mp3 by Corey Miller on #SoundCloud https://soundcloud.app.goo.gl/xF15R
  25. Until you can balance a Cheeto on your boner and launch it into your mouth, you can't tell me nothin
×