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StopEatingBees

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Everything posted by StopEatingBees

  1. StopEatingBees
    There are no stupid questions. There are no stupid answers. None of your friends can see or hear you.
  2. StopEatingBees
    Yo mama so dead that after sex I rolled over twice and she was dead
  3. StopEatingBees
    It doesn't do to dwell on dreams, Harry, and forget to twerk
  4. StopEatingBees
    These primordials aren't much for conversation but they sure make a tasty soup
  5. StopEatingBees
    I guess when I heard Cupid would shoot his love arrows at me, I didn't picture a metaphor
  6. StopEatingBees
    If 2’s company and 3's a crowd, what are 4 and 5? Pedophiles. Stay away from them.
  7. StopEatingBees
    Thanks to autocorrect, my girlfriend is sucking my clock. I had no idea I was into this.
  8. StopEatingBees
    I'm more than just a pretty wiener, you know.
  9. StopEatingBees
    "Eat a bag of dicks" is such an antiquated insult. Oh no, free food, what a drag
  10. StopEatingBees
    When I finally found Waldo, he had a visible erection, and I forgot why I'd been hunting him
  11. StopEatingBees
    Maybe I'm not perfect. But they say practice is perfect, and I've been called a "practice guy"
  12. StopEatingBees
    Star Trek was totally unbelievable. I mean, come on. ALIENS?
  13. StopEatingBees
    Captain America ripping a log in half isn't the only thing that gets me hard, but it never fails
  14. StopEatingBees
    Therapy only gets me hard like 1 out of 5 times
  15. StopEatingBees
    What did the envelope say to the stamp? Nothing, they were both victims of 9/11
  16. StopEatingBees
    At the base of the column of the spine, you're coccyx
  17. StopEatingBees
    Just yelled "Beetlejuice" into a cave, now we wait
  18. StopEatingBees
    My favorite method of execution would be "beaten to death with my own dead body."
  19. StopEatingBees
    I was gonna go freshen up my coffee but I decided I'd just get older instead
  20. StopEatingBees
    God's will stipulates that before the meek can inherit Earth, they must spend one night in this haunted mansion
  21. StopEatingBees
    Don't tell me whether or not I bury survivors, you don't know my life
  22. StopEatingBees
    I made a Play-Doh bust of Joe Rogan, is it still non-toxic?
  23. StopEatingBees
    A million dollars isn't cool. You know what's cool? Smoking.
  24. StopEatingBees
    I told my daughter she wasn't hot enough to get kidnapped, but I guess she showed me.
  25. StopEatingBees
    Bought an everything bagel because I wanted to see my dead dad again. He wasn't there though.
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