So long Charleston, I'm not wild about your dance but you make one hell of a chew

[So long Charleston, I'm not wild about your dance but you make one hell of a chew]

So long Charleston, I'm not wild about your dance but you make one hell of a chew

[A Crippling Fear Of The Unknown: It's not just for breakfast anymore]

A Crippling Fear Of The Unknown: It's not just for breakfast anymore

[Throw that Urkel in a circle]

Throw that Urkel in a circle

[I'm not fat, I'm just heavy with denial]

I'm not fat, I'm just heavy with denial

[If Jesus were white they'd have probably just let him go]

If Jesus were white they'd have probably just let him go

[I feel like even a one-nation army would stand a pretty good chance of repelling Jack White]

I feel like even a one-nation army would stand a pretty good chance of repelling Jack White

[When there was only one stream of bubbles, it was then that I was drowning you]

When there was only one stream of bubbles, it was then that I was drowning you

[The Washington Monument is a nice dick building, but for me, it's all about Van Buren's Chode]

The Washington Monument is a nice dick building, but for me, it's all about Van Buren's Chode

[If there's infinite parallel universes, there must be one where there aren't any parallel universes, which means WE'RE that universe. Do we have any more pot]

If there's infinite parallel universes, there must be one where there aren't any parallel universes, which means WE'RE that universe. Do we have any more pot 

[McGruff takes a bite out of crime. It's meaty. Flavorful. Decadent. He can't go back to kibble. Not now.]

McGruff takes a bite out of crime. It's meaty. Flavorful. Decadent. He can't go back to kibble. Not now.

[Bob Barker loves tantric sex because he can get as close as possible without going over]

Bob Barker loves tantric sex because he can get as close as possible without going over

[Climate change isn't going to kill us all. I myself am going to be pushed off a building by a robot with human emotions]

Climate change isn't going to kill us all. I myself am going to be pushed off a building by a robot with human emotions

[I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't payin' for those glass slippers]

I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she ain't payin' for those glass slippers

[Do you think Gallagher ever brought a baby out just to mess with the first three rows]

Do you think Gallagher ever brought a baby out just to mess with the first three rows

[I can talk to animals, but only in the language of love. Or German]

I can talk to animals, but only in the language of love. Or German

[Like my grandma always said, "Gary Busey, hairy pusey"]

I'm ok with throwing away old material but I wouldn't wanna lose this work of ART

[I'm a lot like the moon. I may look rough on the surface, but on the inside, I'm full of secret mole people]

I'm a lot like the moon. I may look rough on the surface, but on the inside, I'm full of secret mole people

[Samuel L. Jackson brand paper towels are the quicker, thicker motherfucker]

Samuel L. Jackson brand paper towels are the quicker, thicker motherfucker

[You can tell she wants you by the soft tremble in her voice as she leans in and whispers, "Moo."]

You can tell she wants you by the soft tremble in her voice as she leans in and whispers, "Moo."

[Instead of always taking one step forward and two steps back, boost your productivity and progress by staying put]

Instead of always taking one step forward and two steps back, boost your productivity and progress by staying put

[Sorry I'm out of breath, I heard Barney was gobbling Fred's fruity pebbles and I just ran right over, but this isn't what I imagined]

Sorry I'm out of breath, I heard Barney was gobbling Fred's fruity pebbles and I just ran right over, but this isn't what I imagined

[Am I having sex with a drill? Of course not! I'm doing a bit.]

Nah, I'm not allowed within 500 ft of the zoo anymore

[Am I having sex with a drill? Of course not! I'm doing a bit.]

Am I having sex with a drill? Of course not! I'm doing a bit.

[I always burp before I walk past strangers, so my one "excuse me" can cover both transgressions]

Well now that's a philosophical rabbit hole

[I always burp before I walk past strangers, so my one "excuse me" can cover both transgressions]

I always burp before I walk past strangers, so my one "excuse me" can cover both transgressions