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Content count
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Posts posted by StopEatingBees
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Hershey is the only company in the world that can kill dogs and still get a highway named after them
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Lo, but don't behold.
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I guess Margot Frank's diary must've been pretty meat & potatoes
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Someone else shit in my pants but I don't know how to prove it
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I instantly punch every swan in the face on the off chance that it's actually Zeus in a swan costume, and so should you
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People who eat grapes instead of drinking wine are probably just fruit pedophiles
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Eat your enemy's heart to gain his courage. His brain, to steal his wisdom. His balls, because they're delicious.
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I am serious! And thank you for calling me Shirley, for indeed that is my name
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My neighbors are so weird. They have a jar full of sperm in their refrigerator. And they still haven't noticed!
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Are Mr. Peanut's balls just his whole body
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Your next burrito could be full of toothpaste. Probably won't be, but you never know for sure.
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You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose. There's nothing you can't pick, because you have special picking powers and it's a miracle
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Everyone LOVES talking shit about the mad scientist until they get zapped with the babyfication ray. Then look who comes crawling back
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Yeah, well if time is relative then how come I don't wanna have sex with it
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There's no "I" in "team", but there is an "oh, you pee?" in "group". And that's something we should've known about you before you joined our baseball group.
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I fell into a bottomless pit but it's just a shallow ditch full of dudes with their dicks hanging out. I love it here.
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There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold. I bedazzled my poop. Now we wait.
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do you think that Christian cucumber from Veggie Tales has ever been put up a butt
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Please help control the pet population, have your pet hanged for treason
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All right lift, separate and listen, I'm a bra, go ahead, stuff your tits in
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Hey girl, are you Chopin's Revelutionary Etude? Because I'll pretend to be interested in you to impress my friends, but I'm really into fat chicks
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It's morphin' time! But into responsible adults with careers
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I like the temperature of my popsicles the way I like the age I was molested by Father Reid. 30.
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It's not kombucha, I just farted in your sweet tea.
I'll never be one of those losers living in my mom's basement, because my parents are dead
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I'll never be one of those losers living in my mom's basement, because my parents are dead