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Posts posted by StopEatingBees
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I remember watching The Wiener van Lesbian Show growing up
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In the land of the blind, just say you have one eye. Who's gonna call you out? Some blind guy?
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I tried not to feel sad about "That's What She Said" jokes going out of style, but in the end, I took it really hard
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It comes out of mine! Of course, that's where it goes in
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The main lesson from Cinderella and The Wizard of Oz is that women love to wear beautiful yet wildly uncomfortable shoes.
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Frankly, ZZ Top, I think a song about a woman who DOESN'T have legs would be way more interesting.
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Did you see Fievel Does Dallas?
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He didn't even do it in character, it was bullshit
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As a man, I'll never know the miracle of childbirth. Hopefully I can at least be the one who leaves it on the fire house steps.
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Yes, Tim Allen played a huge role in my childhood. And yes, I've been fingered. Are those facts related? Yes.
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I sing the body electric. I dance the body steam-powered. But those coal-burning bodies are the ones you really wanna fuck
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I'm writing a sequel to Smooth Criminal that's all about Annie's road to physical and emotional recovery
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Wish I could tell my coworkers about how I came on the pants I'm wearing without things getting weird, it's a REAL funny story
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I'm every woman, it's all in me. We all went to the bathroom together and it turned out to be a teleporter, now we're a unified physical amalgamate
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Oh, did Stephen Hawking have a wheelchair? I'm sorry, I don't SEE furniture.
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Boss Baby is completely unrealistic. You could just kick his ass
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I'd like porn better if they didn't always cut out the scene where they fall in love
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It's not the size of the wave, it's the size of your penis. Why would you even bring up the ocean when we're about to do it
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I'm hung like a horse, so suck it dry and lead me to water
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At 8:00 pm Tuesday night, the Hamburglar was put to death. A special sauce tear rolls down the cheek of Mayor McCheese. He was loved - truly loved- and always would be.
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Man, it's weird how every ghost is a great speller
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Additional Rush-flavored catchphrase!
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Sir Mix-a-Lot's hips must be unbelievably honest
Permission to treat God as my hostile witness, your honor
in New Catchphrase Suggestions
Posted
Permission to treat God as my hostile witness, your honor