fredsolo

This butt doesn't do itself

I've said before and I'll say it again. SHRIMPMONKEY!

Remember to go to Fleshlight.gov and enter the code BANG BANG for a free 1000 day trial

If I had a nickel for every time I've said "if I had a nickel" I'd have to kill Mathus, the magical pony whose power keeps these curses going

See you later alligator but before you go, let me just say that you are the best drug dealer I've ever had. I don't care that you are a talking frog.

I've heard of T-Pain but Dick Pain.

Boomerang! Gnaremoob! (That's boomerang backwards)

To the giraffe that stomped on my award winning giant lettuce head, get ready because I'm coming for you and your family

This groovy goose has turned into a moody moose, and that's not what I signed up for.

I've heard of U2, but UTAH!

I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but who cares? I'm a hammer, we are not meant to be sharp. We are meant to bang, baby.

Oh, what's that? It's a phrase! I'm going to catch it. There, I did it.

By the power invested in me by the state of Puerto Rico, I now declare you Munch and Crunch.You may now start a cereal mascot rock band

I may not be the sharpest tool in the shed but who cares? I'm a hammer, we are not meant to be sharp. We are meant to bang, baby.

I don't know how to tell you this but Martin Landau was not in Ghost Rider. That was Nicolas Cage. Im sorry.

Open up your butt and I'll stick it right in there! That's the catchphrase.

Is it a crime to rhyme crime with rhyme? I'm being told that is and so I'm going to jail now. Bye, everybody.

My mind says no but my body says you can save 50% or more on car insurance by switching to Geico

My username is hammerboner420 but it appears on here as Alfredo Solis Fuentes, my real name. Need tech support help. Do not say on air.

Lights, camera, action, chainsaws, candy, horses, guitars, pancakes, cheese

I've said it before and I'll say it again: Horses are wizards!

I've heard of U2, but UTAH!

Throw your hands in the air like you just don't care and if you care then good for you. We need people who care. Today. Tomorrow. Always.

You can't spell cinema without enema. I love it.

Who watches the Watchmen who watch Dr. Who on a watch made by The Who instead of seeing the Watch starring Jonah Hill?