Nasher

Johnny Depp & Christoper Walken in a plot that gives 88 Minutes a run for its money. Depp's daughter is kidnapped and he is ordered to execute a target within a few hours or his daughter dies. Walken is the evil recruiter who assigns the mission and constantly follows Depp to ensure he completes his task. Unfortunately they choose Depp from a random crowd because he showed initiative in dealing with some punks hassling commuters and then surprise! he uses that ingenuity to befoul his tormentors plans instead. The ridiculous things that happen are just stupefying and at almost every turn the plan would fall apart if anyone was good at their job. You know every decision he makes to break the deal that he will talk to exactly the wrong person. On top of this, because they can't trust Depp, Walken shadows our man by a few feet and constantly talks to him in public where there must surely be security and television cameras and also walks in and out of his bosses hotel room. At other times he inexplicable stands where he cant clearly see Depp. When he bumps into Charles S Dutton you just know he is gonna be our hero's only friend. An assistant is loudly executed in the bosses hotel room for no good reason after which her story is over and disappears. When he confronts his target he spends the first few minutes talking like he is a killer instead of implicating his controllers as evidence of his crazy story. At one point Depp falls in slow motion down multiple floors into a shallow lobby fountain and then moments later is back upstairs, totally dry. He then walks around the lobby and no one at all, even the staff to whom he talks, notice he's the guy who fell 4 stories and was pulled out of the fountain minutes earlier. Later he drops into the same pool from 1 story up and you can see the fountain water is about 2 feet deep, he is knocked unconscious and you'd believe drowned as no one comes to his aid, and again he apparently gets out without anyone being concerned and completely dry. Depp's daughter is perfectly happy with her female captor, who is nice to her, and has no concept of stranger danger apparently. It's one of those movies where action justifies everything but next to nothing makes real world sense.

Leviathan is one of my favorite bad movies. You know how one studio develops a movie around a subject and another makes a remarkably similar movie to cash in.. well 1989 was the year of the underwater sci-fi/action/monster movie, when I believe 4 such movies were released and two the following year. What sets Leviathan apart is it's wholesale ripping off of Alien and The Thing to create it's plot and monster. The plot revolves around a deep sea mining crew who stumble across a derelict ship with holes ripped in it and when investigated they bring something back something that first infects and then hunts the trapped crew. The crew mirrors Alien right down to the engineers, one white and one black, who complain about completion bonuses. They also have two females, one of whom strips to white undies in a small shower stall, and a tough male leader but interestingly no android or Jonesy! The base interior is also Alien on a budget: dank pipe laden corridors, crisp lit futuristic medical bay, white panneled communal living areas. Interestingly one crew member tries an escape hatch escape that mirrors the attempt to blow the alien out of a hatch in the novelization of Alien. To spice things up they replace the Xenomorph with a 'The Thing' like monster, complete with body melding scenes and distorted body parts. They fear the monster is inside them even though they mostly trust each other, also they discover that human dead does not equal creature dead. Hudson, Crenna & Weller predictably provide good performances and keep the plot going and well enough to make an enjoyable action/horror story. The effects are pretty decent and the monster effects work despite being pretty static when Alien and The Thing were anything but. Watched in the light of two of the finest monster movies ever made the theft of ideas is staggering and fun to spot the pilfered elements so shamelessly used.

Wow this episode, like the last 6 or so, sucked. The show has devolved into all adverts, self promotion and no preparation. Wheres the insight? the love? the research? the reactions? Sadly it feels like this is now just work for you guys and you pick the obvious movies a million podcasts have already done and done better with a guest who is more interesting in shilling their own projects than having any interest in the review. Remember the Sleepaway Camp episode.. that was great.. a movie few have seen is truly note worthy in it's awkward awfulness and you all had something to say about it. Cut your losses and just do the live stuff where you excel with prepared material and you actually give a damn about the material and your audience once more.

Shark Jumped.. I'm Out.

I detested Elektra Luxx... some good actors and a plot that sounded interesting and could have gone somewhere.. and then didn't. I'm sure the salacious promotion didn't help to miss-sell the movie which got bogged down in 'Lifetime kitchen chat' scenes interspersed with poor Levitt trying his hardest to make something of a woefully under written part. For what it's worth I completely agree with your review.. I'm sure i reviewed it in much the same manner somewhere else myself.. Didn't help that the title, possibly deliberately, sounds exactly like a washing machine manufacturer. Now if only i'd rented Female Trouble by John Waters... would have been a whole other kettle of fish

Oh the guy works on levels and levels above everyone.. so far up looking down it kinda makes some sense when you hear Kelly explain things but when you sit and think about what he says you soon realize: if it wasn't for his completely genuine manner and explanations of the thematics of his works you'd be sure he was flicking V's behind your back. Watching one of his movies on the surface level you can have some fun but it raises questions and it's hugely fun to debate the meanings, I'll never forget the revelation of watching Donnie Darko and the days of conversations that followed.. It's just this time.. i dunno if stuff got lost in editing, the movie certainly went through 2 major editing phases, or the grand vision was just too board, or it was supposed to be a start of a trilogy or something.. but what ended up on DVD is a garbled mess of cameo's and awkwardly connected scenes. There is so much minutia to his concepts I think he just failed to get the central story right and strong enough to give it a spine for the rest to develop and be supported by.

Certainly suffers from futurism that feels quaintly archaic but I really love how they tried to do something different with this movie. There were a lot of very brave choices that have just dated incredibly badly and concepts they just didnt have the technology to pull off (not that CG is any real improvement overall). I really enjoyed how the high concept plot sorta gets boiled down to a pretty simple one by the movies end, you can almost feel the producers balking at the first cut and demanding it all get carefully explained or the audiences minds just might implode

Southland is just an experience in it's own right.. they guys have to deal with sometime soon.. this remains one of the most popular threads on the boards for it's sheer baffling concept, structure/editing and overall execution (not to mention the farce that ensued from it's test screenings and the initial backlash). What i love about the flick is it's ability to confound everyone, from the casual viewer to hardcore sci-fi/fantasy fans and even those who are adept at spotting subtext and layered meanings.. everyone is confounded at what he was trying to get at.. and is there actually any depth to it at all? Listening to Kevin Smith and Kelly discuss it proves the man had a vision but he seems so jaded by the project I'm not sure he cares enough to try and explain it anymore.. he did that with Darko and nearly ruined it. I am beginning to think that HDTGM don't even check the forums anymore as they never mention them and seem to ignore these threads and just pick movies for themselves... not a bad thing as it give us a place to introduce bad movies to like-minded people.. but a shame none the less.

You have to admire Bollywood.. for it's sheer insanity. The fact they produce so many more films per year than anyone else and how they oddly all seem similar to western eyes is even more baffling. When Sky TV added an Indian channel to freeview a few years back it quickly be came one of my faves.. you could put it on night or day and see a film in progress. This spawned a game we played. Once the singing and dancing started you had to predict the next location as every song seems to have a structure of: men sing & dance /cut/ women sing and dance, and during each the location of the dance randomly hops to a new backdrop every 10-15seconds... so one seconds men are in a town square and the next they are on a cliff top then women are in a bathhouse and then on a bus.

It was super cool back in the day.. I saw the film had the computer game and discussed the awesome weaponry with friends.. Just on a re-viewing it's not weathered at all well.

I applaud your masochism. Not a sentence I use everyday.

To be fair i don't think a single one of his movies is beyond reproach.. quality was never a concern That said when i was back in school you weren't cool unless you watched all the crazy action flicks of the day and Mr Dame certainly pumped out the schlock with the best of them. If only he had stuck with Predator... a 5' 8 hunter might have been a slightly easier foe for Arnie.

It certainly has thriller pretensions but the gore splattered control room early on really set a tone for horror in my mind...which was also an element that somewhat annoyed me.. there was so really gruesome stuff but the team seem totally disinterested by it. It suffered in many ways from the old case of 'we have loads of mental things happening at the end that cost money so lets draw out the opening hour with as little as possible so we can save budget' and when that happens I often find myself bored and thinking about the movie, which is never a good sign and worse still when the movie gives you nothing to ponder on as its saving that for the end too.

Was damned from the start wasn't it.. but after the surprise hit of the original they couldn't not do it really.. but how do you top one of the most infamous scenes of all time... well you just ignore it and smatter the plot with smut that lacks an ounce of sophistication, if that's the word, of the original.

Took me forever to find Freaked.. but what a nuts movie.. and with Bill & Ted in it too! I like a movie that can laugh at itself and references many others without actually stealing from them. Any Hellraiser after 2 deserves derision on a wide number of elements but so true.. once you hit Space.. you know your series is in trouble... See Leprechaun, Critters.. Legion was ..well.. it has a really interesting core idea but one the film makers seemingly ignored and made angles bumbling idiots who posses like demons and die when slightly startled by gunfire it seems. There was a really good movie in there just not ones they decided to explore. Been meaning to track down Dylan Dog for some time... must go on my todo list.

I loved the book! I was a big horror fan in the 80's & 90's and F Paul Wilson was one of my top authors and had to give the film a go. There are terrible pace issues, tension built but not paid off, uninspired effects and creature work.. such a shame as missed opportunity.

Lowest common denominator. Base level humour will never fail to sell despite a lack of any quality or intelligence. Its so sad that cheap work like this is the norm today and I know many who enjoyed the movie, and it's ilk, none of them would ever call a movie of this kind their favorite. My big problem with the modern (and mostly American made.. but i include us Brits in this too.. God damn you Gervaise) comedy is that they replace humour with embarrassment. It's to easy to do, it's cheap and tawdry. Why write a clever inter-weaved narrative with callbacks and a structure when someones self-esteem being broken gets an audiences laughter. Demand better people.

To be fair that surf scene was so bad.. you can only think they knew it was bad and were just going with it? Or maybe not... I can never decide. Maybe it was time and budget but I do recall seeing a clip of it and being put off the film for the longest time. Thankfully I became more movie aware and had a double feature of the two and knowing Carpenter's work by that point had a rollicking good time with it. The gliding scene was.. well one of the slowest and laboured actions scenes of all time but again with the campy tone I cant help but go with the idea they were just throwing stuff at the camera and it played best as slapdash. It always reminds me of the horribly undynamic hoverboards from Highlander 2 and how what should have been an exciting action scene it was instead so ponderously bad. Even worse was the added tram fight element that was likewise lacking in any speed or dynamism. In that light its actually a lot more fun to watch than a decrepit immortal playing tap-sword with leotard ninjas.

It's a funny world, growing older certainly gives movies a whole new light and context.. I can't quiet imagine how a child of the 90's views an insanely 80's movie (Mannequin, Short Circuit, Splash, Bill & Ted, etc) and how they relate to the bizarre hair-do's and shoulder-pads. You can appreciate a film from any era but the 80's seemed so heavily focused on style that many suffer from not being timeless. The Spaceballs scene made me laugh so hard.. the Starwars gags were all more than decent enough but the Alien bit was just so unexpected and to make such a light jape on such a hard hitting sequence was inspired.. In many ways seeing an inspirational film made decades ago for the first time must suffer from all the homage and parody that that has gone since, I can't imagine The Sixth Sense has the same impact now as the twist plot is now so rote and expected, even if it's not already been spoiled for you by knowing the director's proclivities or the endless pop-culture references to it. Of course since Aliens everyone is very familiar with the Alien's look which was another thing Scott was so careful and clever to hide. I often think when a new movie comes out if it's monster is shown bright n clear on the DVD case it's saying "look how cool this is.. this is the best thing about the movie" and there they are spoilering it for themselves. The genius of Giger's art was that it was so nightmarishly (literally) otherworldly and how they realized that work on film was a miracle in itself. I've been trying to avoid reading and viewing too much of Prometheus not to spoiler the movie for myself but I've noted that many unused ideas and concept art of his is being recycled for the new film in what appears to be very interesting ways compared to the original intent. I'm not sure if The Tingler is out of copyright or not.. I believe its available to view online freely and it's one i'd love to have on DVD, it used to get played all the time on TV years back but not recently.

The best place to find bad movies is Wallmart! Not the bad movie recommendation forum on this website? What are we making suggestions for then. :S

Yeah watching a pretty intense horror film, for 1981, at a friends birthday party was pretty crazy.. I recall I rented First Blood Part 1 for one of my parties and they certainly colour how you view those movies in later years. It was so random a choice and one that years later would be so neat because of how those actors careers went. I have no problem with parody and inspiration (it's amazing how Alien & Blade Runner coloured virtually every movie in their respective genres and so many other cross over movies), it's the wholesale stealing of material that amuses me. Galaxy uses so many elements but adds so much and how it uses clever 'cheap' tricks to fill out the rest and is just so great to watch as it twists and invents as much as it apes. I feel almost sorry for those who didn't get to see Alien at the time when it was released, as they missed the viseral experience of the chestburster at a time when it was like nothing else seen before. I've found it really interesting how people who reviewed the recent The Thing prequel then saw the original and how confused their reviews are.. they kinda like new one, then see the older film and are instantly more impressed by the tie ups and view the whole thing in a new light but still prefer the effects of the new movie, something that is incomprehensible to me as digital effects instantly remind me i'm watching something computer rendered. Corman had a genius for that lo-fi approach it's a shame that modern companies like The Asylum have a similar approach but just so blatant and without that inventive touch, they use crappy cgi instead of simple practical effects that take a little effort for a lot of pay off. Love the old Hammer Horror movies.. here's another coincidence I'd had recently have you seen "The Tingler" with Vincent Price? I rewatched that a few days ago and randomly it's been name checked twice since, most amusingly by John Waters in a monologue i'd not seen before.

Here goes... what a painful experience this movie was. :S If Dinklage hadn't stated that he was French I would have thought he was Austrian. LOL Kermit legs!.. i said exactly that. Great show guys.

Quick and especially dirty, just as the movie made me feel... dirty.. not particularly quick.

Star Slammer is a 1986 low budget Sci-fi flick with a mostly female cast who spend most of their time braless, in ripped tops, thong jumpsuits and shorts. Big hair, curly perms and nipples abound. Into the mix is midget wrestling, toothy penis monster, a grey robed wizard, floggings, gimp masks, 10minutes of sizzling over the opening scenes, an older "Carol Vorderman" lookalike (should perk the interest of British males of any age) in leather with a whip, epileptic mouth organ solo, cyborg sex (if you count a silver oven mitt as cybernetic), smoking skulls, deadly dinner plates and fluids to the face. Only in the 80's..

Dennis Quaid is one of those actors who seemingly takes any movie that was 3 down in his pile of scripts to consider. Certainly makes for an interesting career with hugely diverse characters, if not actual performances. I like how he can make a low budget film that might get ignored into something vaguely watchable and then is up to par when you stick him in with other top-notch actors. To me I think of this film like many British bio-pics where they only focus on the negative aspects of a persons character and drop in the genius parts (the shows, roles, movies, songs, etc) to stop it being unremittingly sour. For that reason i detested the Peter Sellers bio-pic for its depressing and, allegedly, highly inaccurate portrayal.