wyldride

"I never get tired of these monkey fighting stakes on these Monday to Friday planes!"

Not to be confused with the version with Ricardo Montalban: Khaaaannnnn! Air. #boo

Recut the movie, but film a new character that is just randomly going about his day, never saying anything. You just randomly cut to him eating lunch, getting a haircut and driving his truck. Final scene: Sinister music as we pan up to his face. He smiles. Reverse angle to see his pov and it's his fresh sign, warning of the danger of giant crocs. Cut back to him turning around, slinging his hammer over his shoulder and walking off jauntily, whistling ala the Andy Griffith show.

Oh, sure -- They are happy to show a woman being eaten by a shark, but not to show her enjoying it. Bloody typical!

So, can we just stop trying to cure Alzheimers by turning animals into stupid (uh, super) intelligent killers?!?

Whenever someone makes a rousing speech and then gets blindsided, it's called a Deep Blue Speech.

Anthology of Interest II: The Motion Picture. I can only assume they are from the planet Nintendu 64.

A good pairing with this movie is My Best Friend's a Vampire. Stars the best friend from House and Odo from DS9.

"A good many dramatic situations begin with screaming ..."

My brain's only "off" setting is "this movie is stupid; fall asleep now." Luckily, if I can stay awake, I enjoy tearing stupid movies apart.

Double Zardoz?!? All the way across the podcast! What can this mean?

"I'm not good at writing reviews." - Someone who, ironically, is quite good at reviewing the quality of his own reviews.

For some reason, someone thought the unknown comic needed to star in a police comedy: Who thought this was a good idea?

It's bad, but entertainingly so, with several crazy pants bits of nonsense. I'd just really like to know who decided that the natural vehicle for a stand up who wears a paper bag on his head was a police comedy -- Or anything, really. There are also some weirdly quotable bits: "Leche mon coffre!" "*gargling* Get lost." "Is it true?" "Do you mean about the size of my dick?"

Even after the effort to re-edit the film to try to rescue it, they still couldn't manage to explain how blowing up all the evidence somehow cleared them of the murder charge that they've already been convicted of. But, I guess you don't go to a Stallone movie expecting the plot to make sense.

Kira is Danny's muse and Sonny is, basically, just some shlub she uses to move Danny into creating the club. I guess, charitably, we can say she happened to fall in love with him along the way. If Kira was just using the image of someone from an album cover painting, I kinda wonder if Zeus ultimately felt sorry for the way Sonny was dicked around needlessly and decided to throw the real woman from the painting into his path (sucks for her).

I kinda like Two of a Kind, but in the bad movie sort of way that would work for the podcast. Grease 2 would also be suitable. It's basically just Grease redone, but with bikes instead of cars, but everything that worked for Grease didn't work in the sequel.

I know, eh? And, get this, they set up the idea of it with some seemingly throwaway dialog, that turns out to be oddly prescient -- Weird. It's kinda ironic, but they found the most outlandish and insane idea (that in some ways actually contradicts previously established facts) just to shoehorn in a lousy cliche. And, of course, it didn't need it. But it's not like a ruins the movie.

Quite a good, fairly straightforward movie, with it's only major failing being that it hinges upon a spectacularly unlikely shot for its climax.

A better story is the stars of the movie realize how bad it's gonna be, so to save their reputations, they hack the studio to try and delete all copies, but things go wrong and all the other things like releasing other movies and exposing employee data and internal emails. In order to obfuscate their involvement, the stars then have to blame the hack on North Korea, causing an international incident. And antics ensue ...

Villain: "You're gonna die today." Moore: "What?!? Did you give me the Hong Kong cocktail?" Villain: "No -- You're just really old." Roger Moore in Crank.

Speaking of blatant product placement, don't forget that was invented by George Clooney:

Bond girl name: Justine Cider (which is just the feminine of my porn name, but still)

Best selling point: The restaurant in the Eiffel Tower is to only restaurant in Paris without a view of the Eiffel Tower (eyesore!)

Although it could be 19.94 minutes (if it's not specifically labeled minutes and seconds).