tonybelmario

I'm not a smart man... But I know what wuv is.

Sorry to highroad you guys but I can’t join your swim team because I don’t see race.

Teacher says, every time a rigorous series of both physical and practical testing is passed, a pilot gets his wings.

I’ve heard don't look a gift horse in the mouth, but don't throw out a gift you’re girlfriend just gave you while she’s still looking?

But just then the unthinkable happened. "And the winner of the Funniest Bone of 2014 is... Femur!" Funny bone was livid. He marched right up to the judges table and demanded to see the scoring ballot. "You don't have the clearance for that," the judges replied, "that's calcified."

You guys, Marmaduke is FICTIONAL. Dogs in real life are actually pretty funny.

If santa's such a great guy, how come he never remembers my birthday?

Sit on it Potsie! (It being a penis)

Earwig, earwax, earwolf... Ear don't even know anymore!

I've never given a man a fish, but I have given a manatee.