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Pure Guava

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Topics posted by Pure Guava

  1.  

    The FBI set up a fake app to capture people that distributed tree porn. Operation "Sap Fap App Trap" was a complete success.

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 603 views
  2.  

    9 out of 10 time-travelers agree: You think shit is fucked up right now? Ohhhhh man....just you wait.

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 509 views
  3.  

    Out of the seventeen British bands that dress up like aliens, Fleetwood Mac and Me is by far the most talented.

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 447 views
  4.  

    Comedy Bang-Bang your head! Metal heath'll drive you mad

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 392 views
  5.  

    Like sands through the hourglass, you are also an obsolete relic of times long gone. Clean out your desk, Jerry, the Robo-Timer3000 keeps time (cont)

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 412 views
  6.  

    When in Vegas, do as the Vegans do: Drink, gamble, party, throw red paint on fur coats

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 1 reply
    • 527 views
  7.  

    Can a blind person seashells?

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 440 views
  8.  

    A spit in my hand is worth lube in the bush

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 397 views
  9.  

    The Millennial Falcon and Gen-X Wing Fighter...is that a thing?

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 486 views
  10.  

    Trick-or-treat, drop that beat, something something Skrillex

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 430 views
  11.  

    "Doing it doggy style" is an insult to all the missionary style loving canines of the world

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 1 reply
    • 443 views
  12.  

    "I cannot believe in a God who wants to be praised all the time but one who wants spanked? Gimme dat Bible, motherfuckers" ---Nietzsche

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 475 views
  13.  

    All that jumping is futile, Q-Bert. The colors may change but you'll never ever get off this platform.

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 371 views
  14.  

    This phatch crase brought to you by Matt Gourley

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 428 views
  15.  

    I wish Fort Knox was a pillow fort because stealing all that gold would make you really sleepy.

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 480 views
  16.  

    I wouldn't touch her with a ten-foot pole. First of all, it's very rude to poke people with poles, secondly she's farther away than you think (cont)

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 467 views
  17.  

    Don't drink that milk, it's spoiled. Mommy and Daddy buy that milk anything it asks for. Yuck.

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 630 views
  18.  

    There's no "u" in team because you are terrible at sports and nobody likes you.There is a "u" in fuck off so maybe go look into that instead.

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 390 views
  19.  

    Eskimos have 500 words for "snow" but only one for "ice" because hey, there's only so much room in the dictionary.

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 418 views
  20.  

    "You really put the "chalk" in chocolate" would be a sick burn if you were a judge in a cooking competition.

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 498 views
  21.  

    I'm flan-sexual; I like to have my cake and fuck it too.

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 686 views
  22.  

    Thankfully for Marvel Professor Xavier's last name didn't start with a C. C-Men comics probably wouldn't sell as well in the more conservative markets

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 448 views
  23.  

    Would a rose by any other name smell as sweet? Find out next on the 2017 Texaco Amway Armed Forces Squatty Potty Rose Bowl, live from Pasadena.

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 441 views
  24.  

    Taze me once, shame on me. Taze me twice, lose all muscle control, pee my pants and convulse violently

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 342 views
  25.  

    I heard that if you tip the masseuse an extra $50 you get a cancelled ABC TV show starring Adam Pally and Casey Wilson

    By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 305 views
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