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DartanganMcgee

Chill Factor(1999)

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Hey remember this movie, ...no? Exactly, it was one of the biggest bombs of 1999. Two soon to be has-beens( Skeet"I'm not Johnny Depp"Ulrich, and Cuba Gooding Jr.), in the movie that ruined their careers. It's too bad, they're so great together in this, their chemistry is reminiscent of Hope and Crosby. Just kidding, they're both terrible, and spend the movie spewing generic tough guy one-liners, and retarded Elvis references. Pretty much every attempt at humor falls flat. It's like they were trying to make die hard crossed with a buddy road trip comedy.

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I actually do remember hearing about this movie. Isn't there some bomb that would freeze stuff if it goes off? And there's a train?

 

Also, whoever names their child "Skeet" is just asking for trouble.

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I actually do remember hearing about this movie. Isn't there some bomb that would freeze stuff if it goes off? And there's a train?

 

Yep, that's the one. The bomb's code name is Elvis, which leads to all the retarded Elvis references throughout the film.

 

 

Also, whoever names their child "Skeet" is just asking for trouble.

 

Yeah, his parents really fucked him on that one.

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It's a version of Speed that even Jan de Bont would think is shitty.

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Yep, that's the one. The bomb's code name is Elvis, which leads to all the retarded Elvis references throughout the film.

 

 

Just reading that information made me want to punch my computer monitor square in the face!

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Just reading that information made me want to punch my computer monitor square in the face!

 

This movie is ridiculous enough to send the most composed man into a psychotic rage.

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And do remember that this was a Skeet Ulrich vehicle, the guy whose biggest role up to that point was the killer in the first Scream movie had top billing over a recent OSCAR WINNER in Cuba Gooding Jr. This is the movie that officially killed the Cuba hype train I think. He did Men of Honor right after which was his last big lead role, but then he went on to make Pearl Harbor in a bit role, Rat Race, Snow Dogs, and Boat Trip, a truly perfect formula for failure that almost seems like Cuba was cherry picking roles that he knew would kill his career. Then of course he tried to do a serious movie in hopes of getting awards, but failed when he went full tard in Radio. After that it was all bit parts and straight to DVD for him.

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This is the movie that officially killed the Cuba hype train I think. He did Men of Honor right after which was his last big lead role, but then he went on to make Pearl Harbor in a bit role, Rat Race, Snow Dogs, and Boat Trip, a truly perfect formula for failure that almost seems like Cuba was cherry picking roles that he knew would kill his career.

 

Exactly, I feel like there could be an entire episode focusing on his poor career choices. Pretty much every movie you mentioned would be great fodder for HDTGM.

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And like I said, he did all of those basically back to back to back over the course of a couple years. Either he was wanting to kill his career or he has the worst agent known to man.

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Either he was wanting to kill his career or he has the worst agent known to man.

 

If I were him, I would have beaten my agent to death with my oscar. But, I guess at the end of the day Cuba could have said no to most of these bombs. Unless he, literally, didn't get offered anything besides parts as cripples, retarded guys, or over the top comedic relief. And that may very well have been the case. Adrian Brody's career crashed and burned in sort of the same way. I guess it's not all bad, they get to make straight to redbox movies with Christian Slater and Tom Sizemore for the rest of their careers!

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Brody had at least one decent chance at coming back with Predators. I thought the movie was great and he did okay, but he's just not an action star and now reduced to doing movies directed by the Shamwow guy.

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Holy shit, why was it so high?! There wasn't much CGI and I doubt Cuba's salary was more than 10 million.

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I use "Skeet Ulrich" as a synonym for "poor man's version of..."

 

For example:

Mr. Pibb = Dr. Skeeter

Waterworld = Mad Max: The Skeet Warrior

Jeffrey Dean Morgan = Skeet Downey Ulrich

 

etc.

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This movie is like Reindeer Games' Skeet Ulrich.

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This movie is like Reindeer Games' Skeet Ulrich.

 

Isn't that everything Skeet has done not named Scream?

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I use "Skeet Ulrich" as a synonym for "poor man's version of..."

 

During one of the RiffTrax live shows, they had a trivia card with the anagram "Skete Ulirch." The answer was "Not quite Johnny Depp."

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Isn't that everything Skeet has done not named Scream?

 

He was also in The Craft, The Newton Boys and Ride with the Devil in between these movies.

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Let's not forget his tiny role in As Good As It Gets. Which I think should have been the size of the roles he always should have gotten.

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