This Dead Air Brought to You By...

[IDisrobe 7]

Orange Crush. Double the calories and sugar with none of the real fruit flavor...Orange Crush.

[IDisrobe 7]

7-11. Where angry foreigners tell you "No!"... 7-11

[IDisrobe 7]

Your Local Hospital. Need an aspirin? That'll be $21.35. Proudly Gouging patients since 1953. Come see us soon at Your Local Hospital. *uninsured: Cash Only. Prepay at window.

[IDisrobe 7]

You Local Surgery Center. Looking to stop that nasty oxygen habit you acquired at birth? Come see us and pick up a free antibiotic resistant infection at no extra charge. Come on baby, Don't Fear the Reaper at your local surgery center today!

[Sorry_Bubastis 17]

Cigarettes! "It's like lighting a fuse to a cool bomb!"

 

Waffle House! "It's arguably food for arguably people!"

 

Adamantium! "It gets under your skin!"

 

Satanist Outfitters! "You'll Look Damned Fine!"

 

Easter! "Making it acceptable to eat $4 worth of peanut butter in one sitting."

 

TruTV! "We've got everything you don't want to watch!"

 

 

[IDisrobe 7]

White Castle...when gastroenteritis sounds interesting, experience it at White Castle!

[StevoDoccerson 97]

SHIRT WOOT.com! ShirtWoot.com: Because other than facebook, & tumblr, how are all of your friends going to know you really like Doctor Who AND Legend of Zelda AND Star Wars? SHIRTWOOT.com!

[StevoDoccerson 97]

POPEYE'S CHICKEN! Popeye's Chicken: For when you want a top to bottom enema that tastes great, and comes with cajun fries! Popeye's Chicken!

[StevoDoccerson 97]

EMERALD TROPHY SHOPS! Emerald Trophy Shops: We're Number 1! This Trophy SAYS SO! Emerald Trophy Shops!

[StevoDoccerson 97]

VISTA PRINT! Vista Print: For when you want to have a piece of cardboard with your name and a swear word on it that lets you try to win free lunches! VISTA PRINT!

[EnderDelphiki 10]

Mr. Pibb. If you were wondering what Dr. Pepper would taste like if it only had a GED, try Mr. Pibb.

[IDisrobe 7]

Top Ramen. When crushing depression makes you give up on life...cater your suicide with Top Ramen.

[BobbyDavis 1]

the blue waffle gentleman's club,

because any girl is better than no girl.

the blue waffle gentleman's club

 

and by the homeless,

here to remind you that it can still get worse

the homeless

 

and by the pawn shop,

weather you need a $5.00 tv or you want to sell a stolen playstation one

the pawn shop

[StevoDoccerson 97]

BURN NOTICE on USA! When there's nothing else to watch when you're at a laundromat, watch BURN NOTICE!

"Hey look it's Bruce Campbell!"

[Turakamu 5]

FACEBOOK! When you want to connect with your small town friends and talk about how they are addicted to meth, Facebook"

 

Also brought by BUTTERFLY YOYO'S, because you thought they were cool, Butterfly yoyo's.

[StevoDoccerson 97]

BEEF O'BRADY'S! BEEF O'BRADY'S! Where Stepdads are made! BEEF O'BRADY'S "We're going to try to stop calling him 'Uncle Jeff' and start calling him Dad now, okay guys?" BEEF O'BRADY'S! "Stop Crying!"

[StevoDoccerson 97]

KFC!

"Oh you ate the bones! Hahahaha"

 

"....that's not funny."

 

"It's from the new commercial! 'You ate the bones' you know? Hahaha"

 

"Dude, my dog died last week after choking on a chicken bone lodged in his throat."

 

"............."

 

KFC!

[DubipR 485]

... Whole Foods Market. Want to buy a Fuji Apple, some string cheese and a sandwich at the deli? Sell some plasma and you'll have it, Whole Foods Market!

[StevoDoccerson 97]

RED ROBIN!

 

RED ROBIN! Come for the bottomless steak fries, stay for the awkward first dates!

(based on an actual first date I saw at the table next to me)

Gal "Would it be weird if I got another burger? Like if I ordered again?"

Guy ".....uh, Sure?"

Gal "Yeah, hi, can I get another of the same? And some more ranch & ketchup, please? Thanks!"

Guy "...I'll have another root beer, please."

RED ROBIN! YUM!

[Silly Lacy 102]

I can't stop laughing at that Steve. So wonderful in so many ways. I'm pretty thick and I could never do a second meal at RR. Also - why did she get the same thing again? I'm mind boggled!

 

In an effort to contribute to this topic, not just comment on other contributions:

 

Belvita - when you're fat enough to be OK with cookies for breakfast, but ashamed enough to justify it to your family and friends, try Belvita!

[Skeevins 322]

The Jimmy Fund at your local theater! For just a dollar donation, you too can help save the life of a child with cancer! But for only 75 cents more, we'll let you help save the life of a full-sized person!

[DubipR 485]

PIXIE STICKS!

 

For fifty cents, you too can have diabetes in a huge plastic straw! Pixie Sticks!

[StevoDoccerson 97]

LEMON WEDGES! Lemon Wedges! Masking the shitty taste of the tap water in restaurants! Lemon Wedges! "Do I taste dish soap?" Not Anymore, thanks to LEMON WEDGES!!

[Surly Captain 131]

BlAINE! Blaine! it's those jokes your parents would tell you in the 70s but NOW! Blaine!

[Surly Captain 131]

Blaine! when you need a joke that references Fatty Arbuckle, Senior Wences and Kim Cattrall try Blaine!