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GregJ

3 Ninjas: High Noon at Mega Mountain (1998)

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Loved the first three 3 ninjas movies when i was a kid and then this piece of crap came out. EVERYTHING about this movie is just terrible. Every kid has the worst "cool" haircuts of the 90's, that alone makes this movie hard to watch. I don't know if they have any interest in doing "kids" movies, but this has too be one of the worst movies ever made, I would actually feel bad for Paul and gang to have to watch this.

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I know they did "Mac and Me", which is the only straight-up kiddie flick I can think of them doing right off the top of my head (they did "Smurfs", but it was still adult characters I think), and from what I can remember, there were some seriously inappropriate themes and stuff going on that made it stand out from the usual stupid kid flick shitiness, so I'm thinking a kids movie needs to have another level to it to make it worth tackling. That movie alone had child endangerment all over the place, neglect, gun-wielding naked aliens with faces like assholes, a crippled kid falling off a cliff and nearly drowning, some of the most blatant and shameless product placement ever put to film, and so much more. I don't remember much of this particular 3 Ninjas flick aside from it being an easy go-to punchline whenever the subject of wrestlers appearing in movies comes up.

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This can't be said enough, but the guy who directed the previous film and produced this one was kidnapped by Kim Jong Il in the 80s and forced to make a propaganda Godzilla clone. The whole thing is up on youtube, search out Pulgasari.

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From the director of Bratz the movie comes this family friendly ninja movie about  3 American boys who... are ninjas and fight crime?

Starring Hulk Hogan, Jim Varney and featuring some troubling asian cultural appropriation. 

 

3 Ninjas: High Noon boasts a whopping 2.9 out of 10 on IMDB.

3 ninjas.jpg

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Honestly out of all of them, this one is the most watchable for me. Jim Varney and Hulk Hogan are both turning in earnest (no pun intended) efforts into their roles and as a result actually set it above the last three movies. 

This was also an era where any character that was shown to have even the most mild proficiency with computers gave them the expertise they needed to hack into anything. 

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