Oblivion

[Shannon 2953]

Has anyone seen this?!?! I want to talk with you about it forever and ever.

 

 

Favorite terrible movie of 2013. 5 Garbage Cans. I'm obsessed.

[RyanSz 3140]

I didn't think it was too bad, had a feeling about Tom working for the wrong side but never saw the true twist coming.

[halesnoelle 5]

I have never heard of it before but just looked it up and the tagline is "earth is a memory worth fighting for" so I feel like its terrible and I should watch it ASAP

[DanEngler 5249]

Quoting myself from Twitter, "OBLIVION is a cinematic master class, insofar as an entire film school syllabus could be designed around all the things it does wrong."

 

Every aspect of the movie was derivative of an earlier, better work. In contrast to films like The Matrix and Kill Bill, which are loving tributes that build upon their many influences, Oblivion added fuck-all. Every plot "twist" is telegraphed so far in advance that there wasn't a single surprise.

 

Moreso than any film I've ever seen, Oblivion suffered from "nothing interesting is happening on screen, so let's add thrilling music to stir even the tiniest bit of emotion in the audience." Even the first scene, of Tom Cruise parking his goddamned spacecar, had an epic score.

 

But nothing summarizes this experiment in design-by-checklist better than "Welp, the MPAA allows a single non-sexual use of the word 'fuck' in a PG-13 movie, so let's make sure we get that 'fuck' in the final confrontation with the Triangulons."

[DanEngler 5249]

I didn't think it was too bad, had a feeling about Tom working for the wrong side but never saw the true twist coming.

By which you mean you didn't see Moon?

[Shannon 2953]

I saw the trailer a whole lot of times for some reason and on the second time I said to myself, "There are no aliens, it's just Morgan Freeman's gang" and "Tom Cruise is a clone and doesn't know it."

 

I went to see it with a big group for my bf's birthday at one of those theaters where you can drink and I told everyone that if my predictions came true we had to chug our drinks. So we got WASTED. and I cackled like a madwoman through the entire thing. I had so much fun it was insane.

 

DELIGHTFUL. I found this movie to be DELIGHTFUL.

[inactiveuser501 168]

From Rotten Tomatoes, "Tom Cruise stars in Oblivion, an original and groundbreaking cinematic event from the visionary director of TRON: Legacy and producers of Rise of the Planet of the Apes. On a spectacular future Earth that has evolved beyond recognition, one man's confrontation with the past will lead him on a journey of redemption and discovery as he battles to save mankind, 2077."

 

How Grandiose. I am interested. Tell me more.

[Shannon 2953]

But nothing summarizes this experiment in design-by-checklist better than "Welp, the MPAA allows a single non-sexual use of the word 'fuck' in a PG-13 movie, so let's make sure we get that 'fuck' in the final confrontation with the Triangulons."

 

Don't forget the lady butt and side boob!! Because everyone knows that astronauts stuck on an empty planet for drone repair get lavish apartments with glass bottom pools.

 

 

How Grandiose. I am interested. Tell me more.

 

I will talk about this movie literally forever. What do you want to know? Do you want to hear about Tom's secret cabin in the restricted zone where he wears baseball caps and goes fishin? Or about how everything the movie tells you is suddenly untrue about an hour in and you have to get an entirely new exposition? Or something else entirely? This one's got it all.

[inactiveuser501 168]

I remember my dad wanting to see it and I didn't feel like it. Shannon do not make me regret that decision. Tell me, entering the movie, what did you Think the plot was and how insane did it stray from that. All I know about this movie is that Tom Cruise is walking on a bridge in the posters.

 

Morgan Freeman is in this. I pray to God it's on DVD

[DanEngler 5249]

Don't forget the lady butt and side boob!! Because everyone knows that astronauts stuck on an empty planet for drone repair get lavish apartments with glass bottom pools.

I can't imagine anything more unbelievable than a story in which a glorified janitor is dispatched to a hostile environment to clean up other people's toxic waste, all the while receiving his orders from a gorgeous redhead.

 

/stares at forum

 

/stares at Shannon's avatar

 

/stares at forum again

 

Well, shit.

[Shannon 2953]

I went in knowing exactly what it was going to be and it got EVEN CRAZIER AND STUPIDER.

 

Basically, at the beginning Tom Cruise is like, "I'm an astronaut and Earth is barren now and I live here with my partner and I fix the robots that fight the aliens that destroyed the planet but they're still here and all the people on Earth live on Titan now and we get to go home there in just one week."

 

And then the movie tells you none of that is true like three more times and Tom Cruise has a lot of watery flashbacks.

 

That's all you need to know. It's not on dvd til August. Find a way. I implore you.

[RyanSz 3140]

By which you mean you didn't see Moon?

 

No because I didn't want to see Cast Away in space.

[Shannon 2953]

 

I'm sorry Dan, we are not an effective team.

[DanEngler 5249]

I'm sorry Dan, we are not an effective team.

So, this is the part where you get reduced to a cloud of ash and I play house with the mysterious other woman?

 

[seanotron 2307]

I liked it. It's a mess, but it's a fun mess to watch (this movie is fucking gorgeous, by the way). And Cruise's Schwarzenegger-ian 'Fuck you, Sally' made me grin like an idiot.

[inactiveuser501 168]

I has to read your post three times, Shannon. What on earth are you saying. Why is so much set up complicatedly and then forgotten?!? WHAT IS HAPPENING?!?

 

 

 

***enters dark underbelly on society and internet to find movie

[RyanSz 3140]

I liked it. It's a mess, but it's a fun mess to watch (this movie is fucking gorgeous, by the way). And Cruise's Schwarzenegger-ian 'Fuck you, Sally' made me grin like an idiot.

 

Agree completely. I think Cruise's public persona is weird, but I just get enjoyment out of many of his movies, mostly in a non-ironic way.

[seanotron 2307]

 

Agree completely. I think Cruise's public persona is weird, but I just get enjoyment out of many of his movies, mostly in a non-ironic way.

 

Honestly, if he hasn't used up all his goodwill with me at this point, he never will. I just really love watching Tom Cruise run toward and away from things.

[RyanSz 3140]

 

Honestly, if he hasn't used up all his goodwill with me at this point, he never will. I just really love watching Tom Cruise run toward and away from things.

As Pete Holmes said, Tom Cruise great runner, Al Pacino not so much.

[BagguhMcGuirk 104]

Sean summed up what I thought of this movie perfectly.

 

Shannon, after reading your thoughts on this and After Earth, I think I speak for everyone when I say you are more than welcome to rant about any movie you want to on this forum. Great stuff.

[wyldride 285]

Mostly the problem I have with this movie is how derivative it is of Moon in particular, but also Matrix and Independence Day. But if you're gonna have "everything you think you know is a lie" in the trailer, then you have to get to that point fairly quickly. Otherwise, I'm just assuming every bit of exposition is a lie. But it doesn't help that the controller always sounds like she's lying. She could've just ended every transmission with, "Yeah -- That's the ticket." And she wouldn't have sounded any less trustworthy. Does Tom's character listen to his own narration? Because if I heard myself talking about a mandatory mind wipe, I'd be like, "Hang on, me -- That doesn't sound right." His character seems remarkably credulous about his incredible lifestyle.

 

The thing about blowing up the moon was kind of a weird hand wave. I mean, if they blew up the moon and sent chunks of it hurtling at the Earth, that's a thing. Or maybe they substantially changed the orbit somehow. But if they just shatter a bunch of it and left it sitting there, which is what it looked like to me, then that's not gonna do much of anything. One big rock, or thousands of smaller rocks, it's still the same mass. I just think if they're gonna make a big deal about it being key to the alien invasion plan, they should make an effort to explain how it works.

[seanotron 2307]

I don't think it rips off Moon as much as it rips off the things Moon ripped off (like Silent Running, 2001 or Solaris). Honestly, I am one of those rare birds that didn't enjoy Moon that much. It starts off quite good, but it falls apart somewhere in the middle, when it turns into a movie where Sam Rockwell (who I do love) argues with himself. And the *SPOILERS* cloning subplot there is telegraphed from the word go, so I guess I was disappointed that there wasn't something more interesting going on. I never felt Oblivion was selling itself as anything other than what it was (homage to 60s/70s sci-fi teetering on pastiche), so the less original elements didn't bother me that much.

 

And I thought the bit about the moon actually made quite a bit of sense (as opposed to several other plot points). If the moon was shattered/exploded as it was depicted (presumably by some kind of projectile or super laser or whatever), then several bits would absolutely be hurled our way into our atmosphere, and even the smallest debris would cause devastating, life-ending consequences. If you're an alien interested in the planet and not the people, that's not a totally unreasonable way to go.

 

Really, the biggest plot hole (and this is common to many, many 'We're here for your water!' stories) is that water exists in abundance in the universe, so there's no reason to commit resources to a conflict on an inhabited planet when you can just go unchallenged to the our edges of the solar system and extract more water than you'll ever find on Earth. No need for additional fuel to escape the gravity well, no need for soldiers to engage hostiles. Same goes for gold (Cowboys & Aliens). But ya know, it's just a movie, I should really just relax.

[inactiveuser501 168]

Guys, I'm ten minutes in, and I already can't believe what's happening.

 

Yankee Caps, Hamster Wheels and Ball Cars, Southern Lady in the computer, Space Motorcycle, its all too much!

 

Edit: SLOW MO FALLING I CAN'T EVEN DEAL WITH.

[thestray 361]

I'm with seanotron on this one, it wasn't the most original movie ever, and was fairly predictable, but I thought it was enjoyable. It was really gorgeous, and scored by M83, and had some fun action sequences.

[inactiveuser501 168]

Gotta go with Shannon and Dan (and Zoukes insulted it on the After Earth podcast) I took a day to mull it over, it still was lovable garbage. All of the unoriginality and lack of surprises are WHAT made it enjoyable and ripe for HDTGM. From the hilarious performances from Morgan Freeman and Melissa Leo to the goddamn confusing as crap ending, it was just a joy. And reading my first comment with the plot synopsis, what I saw was nothing like that.

 

Shannon, please invent the Oblivion drinking game.