Episode 234 — Changing The Bandage

[wheelchair girl 34]

...//wheelchair girl intro sequence and music//....

 

Big wheels, keep on turning

Proud Mary, keep on burning

Rolling, rolling, rolling on the river

 

(past episode montage)=====> arm trapped in canyon(saws off legs), butt chugging and keg standing at the same time, struggles with a pubic's cube(symbolic), hit by a penny under the empire state building

 

...//theme ends//..

 

This week I respond to fan emails.

 

Joe Blow writes, "Are you Steven Speilberg?"

Of course not, I am "wheelchair girl". My life is my movie, my special affection is my special FX, and the colououououour purple is my "Color Purple".

 

Joe Blow: Do YOU have a "To Do List"?

I have an R2D2 List where R2D2 and C3PO go on a journey of self discovery and try to lose their virginity, but C3PO never seems to quite be able to close the deal, so they make a list of girls they want to concentrate on and plan a camping trip, and then C3PO makes a list of girls at the concentration camp he really likes, and then he follows a path of reeses peices, falls in love, then C3PO's letters are hidden from his lover, but then she finds the NOTEBOOK, and realizes its a BOOK OF SECRETS: AND A NATIONAL TREASURE. and then the movie SAW, and everyone dies and I am the only survivor because of my ability to Quantum Leap whenever I suffer any leg injury which explains all my stories which is a major premise in all of my podcasts for future reference, and you have now been inducted into the wheelchair girl Culture Club, comma, comma, comma, comma, comma-chameleon.

[rod aug 5637]

It's Thursday and you know what that means, a special B-B-B-B-B-BONUS-S-S-S episode of Wheelchair Girl!

[okaychemicals 0]

I don't really know why anyone would expect us to listen to them talking about commercials they were in surrounded by commercials.

 

Also its not free when we listen to commercials, we become your commodity that you sell to advertisers. Its becomes a business relationship at that point. Its not like you are coming down and granting us free entertainment because you are making advertising money because we agree to listen.

 

You aren't doing us a favor by making it and putitng commercials all over it, we are doing you a favor by listening to your crappy show and being consumers you can sell advertising too.

 

So the way you guys in every podcast (nerdist too) keep framining this relationship as you giving out free shit out of the goodness of your heart. And because of that we should like it or fuck off is bullshit because thats not what is happening and doesn't really take into account the way the relationship has changed since the inception of many of these podcasts.

 

Its getting kinda absurd but not the good kind of absurd.

[Skeevins 322]

Bill's Ducca impression was pretty awesome.

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

I don't really know why anyone would expect us to listen to them talking about commercials they were in surrounded by commercials.

 

Also its not free when we listen to commercials, we become your commodity that you sell to advertisers. Its becomes a business relationship at that point. Its not like you are coming down and granting us free entertainment because you are making advertising money because we agree to listen.

 

You aren't doing us a favor by making it and putitng commercials all over it, we are doing you a favor by listening to your crappy show and being consumers you can sell advertising too.

 

So the way you guys in every podcast (nerdist too) keep framining this relationship as you giving out free shit out of the goodness of your heart. And because of that we should like it or fuck off is bullshit because thats not what is happening and doesn't really take into account the way the relationship has changed since the inception of many of these podcasts.

 

Its getting kinda absurd but not the good kind of absurd.

 

I think I speak for everyone when I say, kindly...the fuck are you talking about?

[kobthatreal 5896]

I don't really know why anyone would expect us to listen to them talking about commercials they were in surrounded by commercials.

 

Also its not free when we listen to commercials, we become your commodity that you sell to advertisers. Its becomes a business relationship at that point. Its not like you are coming down and granting us free entertainment because you are making advertising money because we agree to listen.

 

You aren't doing us a favor by making it and putitng commercials all over it, we are doing you a favor by listening to your crappy show and being consumers you can sell advertising too.

 

So the way you guys in every podcast (nerdist too) keep framining this relationship as you giving out free shit out of the goodness of your heart. And because of that we should like it or fuck off is bullshit because thats not what is happening and doesn't really take into account the way the relationship has changed since the inception of many of these podcasts.

 

Its getting kinda absurd but not the good kind of absurd.

Are you trolling? There's about 3-4 minutes of commercials in a 1hr+ podcast.

[robbiegoodwin 29]

The ironic Borat / Gilly catchphrases were already crazy (as Bill Hader said they're based on other comedians) but the "having a laugh" is especially ridiculous because Scott is ironically quoting the ironic catchphrase of a fictional character in a show created by a fictional character in a show created by Comedian Ricky Gervais

[DanEngler 5249]

I think I speak for everyone when I say, kindly...the fuck are you talking about?

Lukas, stop framining your statements as if they represent the entire Comedy Bang Bang audience. You are putitng words into our mouths. And because of that we should like it or fuck off is bullshit because thats not what is happening and doesn't really take into account the way the relationship has changed.

 

And no, I have NOT been huffing Scotchgard in a Red Roof Inn dumpster since 8AM.

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

Lukas, stop framining your statements as if they represent the entire Comedy Bang Bang audience. You are putitng words into our mouths. And because of that we should like it or fuck off is bullshit because thats not what is happening and doesn't really take into account the way the relationship has changed.

 

And no, I have NOT been huffing Scotchgard in a Red Roof Inn dumpster since 8AM.

 

What if I put an ad in the middle of my comments?

[AaronSinger_29251 578]

I don't really know why anyone would expect us to listen to them talking about commercials they were in surrounded by commercials.

 

Also its not free when we listen to commercials, we become your commodity that you sell to advertisers. Its becomes a business relationship at that point. Its not like you are coming down and granting us free entertainment because you are making advertising money because we agree to listen.

 

You aren't doing us a favor by making it and putitng commercials all over it, we are doing you a favor by listening to your crappy show and being consumers you can sell advertising too.

 

So the way you guys in every podcast (nerdist too) keep framining this relationship as you giving out free shit out of the goodness of your heart. And because of that we should like it or fuck off is bullshit because thats not what is happening and doesn't really take into account the way the relationship has changed since the inception of many of these podcasts.

 

Its getting kinda absurd but not the good kind of absurd.

 

 

Well, speaking of free, I would LITERALLY pay money for Paul Rust to read this in a new no no.

NEW NO NO! MAYBE I SHOULD STOP LISTENING TO PODCASTS I DON'T ENJOY! ALSO, I HAVE A VERY INTERESTING UNDERSTANDING OF THE WORD FREE.

[Andrea Streeter 110]

Shannon, you are a miracle worker. Ducca's heroes list is the new Hodgman's 700 hobo names list.

 

(Also this ending totally puts this ep in the year's top 10. One of the greats!)

[DanEngler 5249]

What if I put an ad in the middle of my comments?

I surmise that if advertisements began to appear in the middle of comments on the Earwolf Forums, it would devalue the conversations, alienate existing commenters, and discourage new listeners from participating in the community. However, this concern is predicated on the notion that our existing conversations have intrinsic value and participating in the community is actually worthwhile, both of which are highly questionable assertions given the

 

 

current state of discourse. After a great deal of personal reflection, I would rather the message boards be shuttered and the podcasts discontinued altogether than suffer one more second of advertisement from these cynical comedians and their greedy corporate masters. My fingers have grown gnarled and broken from the effort of fast forwarding 30 seconds every hour. I will no longer fall prey to the siren song of hundreds of hours of free entertainment per year.

 

R.I.P. COMEDY

335 BC - 2013 AD

[Kickpuncher 5012]

What was everyone's favorite name from Bob's Hero Imaginorium?

 

Ponch Gigabyte

 

I heard the Kanye/Besser story earlier this week, but after hearing this episode, I finally put two and two together - It should have been clear that Kanye was a big improv/alt comedy fan all along, because he's been dropping hints for years with his frequent use of Bob Ducca's catchphrase "HEH".

 

You can tell that it's been a while since Bob appeared because it was one of the few times that Scott remembered less about a character's backstory than the performer did.

[Shannon 2953]

Shannon, you are a miracle worker.

 

 

Really, I just type fast. But clearly not well, due to the errors I have since corrected.

[Glayventron 2]

The ending was a worthy uhhh... a worthy uhhh... a worthy uhhh...

 

Registered just to give this some love.

[Poika 615]

I thought Hader was great, and Seth is always a treasure. Hader is not the first first time guest to not get Would You Rather. Just because we've heard it umpteen times doesn't mean that all people get it at first. This episode had me laughing until I snorted, which is a little embarrassing!

[thestray 361]

That was one of my favorite Comedy Bang Bang endings ever. And Bob Ducca's lists were amazing. I really hope that now Hader's in LA he comes on the show and does some characters from time to time, the way he practically did a perfect Bob Ducca so quickly was amazing.

[VampiresVampiresVampires 303]

That was one of my favorite Comedy Bang Bang endings ever. And Bob Ducca's lists were amazing. I really hope that now Hader's in LA he comes on the show and does some characters from time to time, the way he practically did a perfect Bob Ducca so quickly was amazing.

Yes. This was as good as the PFT/James Adomian--Huellsty-Nine episode. Hader could easily establish dominance like Moynihan.

[Jachin 123]

I thought Hader was rather low energy and was kinda bummed when he flat out refused to play WYR. But, he made up for it with that ending, I guess. Nice to have Ducca back of course.

[cmac94 191]

I don't really know why anyone would expect us to listen to them talking about commercials they were in surrounded by commercials...

Wait wait wait, are you talking about the fact that Scott and Bill talked about being in a series of T-Mobile commercials? A bit that lasted maybe 1 minute tops? Scott was talking to Bill about stuff that was going on in Bill's life, I think a new commercial job is fair game to talk about, especially since they turned into a running joke (I'm posting this reply from my Samsung Galaxy)(not really).

 

And by the way, this podcast is entirely free to you. You don't even have to listen to the commercials, you can skip right through them. You lose nothing by listening to this podcast. And yeah, of course Earwolf profits from the advertisements, but the ad money also goes to things like paying the bills that allow them to put out this podcast in the first place. I'm sure you can bear 3 minutes of skipable ads in return for some Ducca/Choctaw/Hader goodness.

[Xaston 98]

I thought Hader was great, and Seth is always a treasure. Hader is not the first first time guest to not get Would You Rather. Just because we've heard it umpteen times doesn't mean that all people get it at first.

 

This is why PFT needs to be on every episode, because right after scott opens the floor for questions he is there shining a light on the Would You Rather premise. Patton is good at this too but PFT is in character and comically eager, like he is chomping at the bit to ask a ridiculous question. Love it.

[thestray 361]

I don't really know why anyone would expect us to listen to them talking about commercials they were in surrounded by commercials.

 

Also its not free when we listen to commercials, we become your commodity that you sell to advertisers. Its becomes a business relationship at that point. Its not like you are coming down and granting us free entertainment because you are making advertising money because we agree to listen.

 

You aren't doing us a favor by making it and putitng commercials all over it, we are doing you a favor by listening to your crappy show and being consumers you can sell advertising too.

 

So the way you guys in every podcast (nerdist too) keep framining this relationship as you giving out free shit out of the goodness of your heart. And because of that we should like it or fuck off is bullshit because thats not what is happening and doesn't really take into account the way the relationship has changed since the inception of many of these podcasts.

 

Its getting kinda absurd but not the good kind of absurd.

 

Love it! Righteous indignation over trivial perceived slights are always fun to read! We should all take a moment to appreciate how good we have it to live in a time and place where it is possible for someone to not only complain but sound so irate and bitter about the fact that the free podcast that they chose to listen to has a few minutes of advertisements in them. That's where we're at in society, and that's a beautiful thing. We live in a golden age!

[Foltaire 333]

Huh?

[jughead 189]

 

I think I speak for everyone when I say, kindly...the fuck are you talking about?

 

I think the proper, "Hipster", pronunciation is Dafuq?

[nathanpierce 400]

I enjoyed the interview portion with Bill Hader. I really did. I did feel like he kind of derailed some portions of Seth Morris' act as Ducca (which as usual was amazing), and I did feel like there were certain aspects that he didn't get or didn't play along with the right way. I was a tad bit disappointed, because I do like Hader. But he was still enjoyable for the most part and I got a good chuckle from the end of the episode.

 

Like I said, Ducca killed it. The lists get better and better. I love all the silly and obviously fake names, but the bit really gets fucking funny when he drops real stuff. Like, the Darius Rucker drop in the middle killed me.

 

There have been an awesome wave of episodes and bits as of late. Great spring and summer for the CBB podcast. Especially the past 3 or 4 weeks with these B-B-B-B-Bonus-s-s-s-s-s episodes.