Episode 2 — Blake Anderson, Our Close Friend

[Hunter 96]

What should we get him? A foam mic cover?

[NotTheNarnold 413]

Poor Ram Hand, what should we get him? I'll pitch in the money I was gonna give to the show.

[chanson 9697]

I... We know this may be unpopular for me... us to say but if I... we am... are Hayes and Sean then their... our comedic standards vis-a-vis this account have really been lazy and unimaginative, not to mention pedantic and overthought, compared to their... our usual happy-go-lucky, but still very intelligent, witty and cynical bullshit.

 

Also, why would your... our fake account have a very strong, psychologically unhealthy attachment to his... its(?) alleged home city of Seattle, Washington? (It is the best place ever but it's still a little weird.)

 

Another question, who's the creeper with the beard?

 

Love You, Byeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

 

PS - Does this get me out of donating? Because I allegedly don't exist. I'm specifically referring to the guilt of not donating since I have no funds with which to donate, so donating is purely a rhetorical construct meant to facilitate the asking of this question. Should I feel guilty? I'm trying this new thing that I learned from my short stint as CEO of Monsanto whereby we simply outsource all moral decision making to a third party for liability reasons. I'm writing a book about it called Outsourcing Morality: How Corporate America is Screwing You and Everyone You Love. In the Ass. Doggystyle. It's a working title. Check out my kickstarter!

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Maybe we should all chip in to get him something. Just like a gesture. Let him know we care.

We don't really have to do that. You already gave him more than he needed. Not sure what I mean? Let me explain.

 

You see, some people get off in ways that seem very odd to most average people. These rampant sex perverts love getting caught in naughty acts. He may have been expecting, at best, that a janitor after hours would have walked in and found him eating a mic cover "by accident." Instead, much to his delight, he got to see the aghast, confused, shocked expression from a show host! For one of these sex perverts that's like our version of Pam Anderson in her Baywatch outfit. Next time you're recording in the studio just look over at the slightly upturned corners of his mouth and you'll know he's looping that moment over in his rotten imagination.

[mattyzmatty 157]

Hi, I'm just catching up on this fresh and exciting podcast and I am finding it extremely fresh, and exciting. However, in this episode, I notice that you are both so awestruck by the famous Hollywood Star Blate Anderson that you let him get away with trying to correct you when you mention the name of his hit show Work Of Holics. He tells you it's 'Workaholics' and you're so starry eyed you don't have the guts to tell him he is flat out wrong.

 

I know it takes a certain amount of toadying, apple polishing and straight up old fashioned (pardon the expression) ball bag dandling to make it in this crazy ol' business, but surely you two are long past that point.

 

Anyway keep up the good work.