Episode 74.5 — Minisode 74.5

[RobM 66]

yo what is our current white zombie. i personally cant wait to reminisce in 10 years about the quirky indie romantic comedies that all used folk songs where ppl shout Hey

 

Joker & The Thief.

[BonkersBananas 62]

The facebook update this morning threw me off and I was so excited to get this episode a day early... *sigh*

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

More idiocy from this movie: "Most amazing of all, my sense of sound gave off a kind of... Radar Sense." OH, you mean like fucking SONAR? You're making a movie about a superhero with superhuman hearing and you still talk down to your audience to such an extent that you think the concept of sonar is beyond them? It's like describing boxing training as "the class that taught me how to punch good."

 

Leland Orser's credit sheet makes me think of another possible movie game, in which we think of ways to describe a character in the credits besides the credited name. "Guy Forced at Gunpoint to Shred Whore With Razor-Tipped Strap-On in Sex Dungeon" is clearly better than "Crazed Man in Massage Parlour," so maybe Matt Murdock in this movie could more accurately be described as "Poor Man's Batman Except He's Red" or "Guy Who Uses His Blindness to Pick Up Chicks in Coffee Houses"?

[PhillipMedoc 648]

I started to watch this last night and *suprise* fell asleep within about ten minutes. But damn, those city/building CG shots look even worse than I remember them. Literally looks like a Dreamcast game or demo to show off an Nvidia card in like 1998. It's terrible.

 

I liked Duncan a lot, but I think he was kind of wasted in the sense that they got a guy to play Daredevil that could look him in the eye. There was no big guy/little guy dynamic, because Affleck is also a pretty big dude. You're never gonna find a guy the size of Kingpin that's huge and intimidating, so you kind of need to go the other way and make Daredevil smaller, and they didn't do that. Yes, my problem with Ben in this movie wasn't his acting, but his size, which of course isn't HIS fault.

That's an interesting point. Kingpin in the comic kind of varies in size but he's of a Juggernaut/Blob stature. And Michael Clarke Duncan is fucking HUGE (6'5", 315 lbs sez wiki) so really you shouldn't have cast a dude only one inch smaller than him to have that work; remember how menacing he looked in Friday? I didn't realize how tall Affleck was (why would I know, though).

 

And fuck, I probably heard it last year but forgot -- RIP Michael Clarke Duncan.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I started to watch this last night and *suprise* fell asleep within about ten minutes. But damn, those city/building CG shots look even worse than I remember them. Literally looks like a Dreamcast game or demo to show off an Nvidia card in like 1998. It's terrible.

 

 

That's an interesting point. Kingpin in the comic kind of varies in size but he's of a Juggernaut/Blob stature. And Michael Clarke Duncan is fucking HUGE (6'5", 315 lbs sez wiki) so really you shouldn't have cast a dude only one inch smaller than him to have that work; remember how menacing he looked in Friday? I didn't realize how tall Affleck was (why would I know, though).

 

And fuck, I probably heard it last year but forgot -- RIP Michael Clarke Duncan.

I'm trying to think of WHEN exactly it was that they finally got CGI under control to a point where it didn't stand out so bad, because there's a lot of post-"Phantom Menace"/turn of the century stuff that didn't look terribly believable at the time that looks even WORSE now. I'm thinking that at some point, filmmakers became less concerned about the "Look what I can do!" aspect and more concerned with integrating it with the real world because there really wasn't anything new under the sun. I could be wrong. Maybe it was when it became affordable on the cheap and EVERYONE started doing it.

 

Anyway, Daredevil was always a guy that could kick your ass that didn't LOOK like he could kick your ass (the blindness thing helped a bit too) that seemed more like he'd be the size of a middle weight boxer or something. Not a huge dude, but really athletic and in great shape. Spidey was like a gymnast, DD was like a boxer, and a guy like Captain America seemed more like an old school bodybuilder or professional wrestler, which is probably more where Affleck falls. This reminds me of another HDTGM miscast, where Topher Grace played Venom in "Spider-Man 3". Venom should have been bigger, especially if they were ever to bring Carnage into the picture (who is sort of a Topher-sized mini Venom). Using THIS logic, Topher Grace could have made a good Daredevil, and Ben Affleck would have been a fine Venom. BAM. Casting problems solved...a decade late...

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

More idiocy from this movie: "Most amazing of all, my sense of sound gave off a kind of... Radar Sense." OH, you mean like fucking SONAR? You're making a movie about a superhero with superhuman hearing and you still talk down to your audience to such an extent that you think the concept of sonar is beyond them? It's like describing boxing training as "the class that taught me how to punch good."

 

Leland Orser's credit sheet makes me think of another possible movie game, in which we think of ways to describe a character in the credits besides the credited name. "Guy Forced at Gunpoint to Shred Whore With Razor-Tipped Strap-On in Sex Dungeon" is clearly better than "Crazed Man in Massage Parlour," so maybe Matt Murdock in this movie could more accurately be described as "Poor Man's Batman Except He's Red" or "Guy Who Uses His Blindness to Pick Up Chicks in Coffee Houses"?

To be fair, I think it's always been referred to as radar sense in the books, so you can't necessarily blame the movie there. Or are you just blaming the over-explanation of it like they can't trust us to figure out what radar sense means?

 

I have sort of a game I play with friends that's similar to your suggestion, only I call it "What Will This Movie Be Called When It Gets Released in the Philippines?". It usually involves taking the most mundane or out-of-context scene or bit from the trailer and pretty much centering it on that. For instance, I'm sure there's no real translation for "The Pacifier", so when it got released in Asian markets, I'd like to think that it had a title that more closely translated to "Hungry Goose" or "Fast and Furious Goose". If there's a wacky house pet or sight gag, it's going to be in your title, and it's not going to make a fucking bit of sense. Holy shit, this should totally be the new name game here...

[EarBear 460]

 

EarBear- you may want to add this to the HDTGM Tshirt contest page. maybe even rework it a bit for a T-shirt.

Maybe even do it like an advertisement for 40 malt liquor by paul scheer.

 

it's too funny you've got so many things happening on that image, I just noticed he's not wearing any pants. LOL

 

I never go into the contest threads. But this is like most of the shit I ever do, it's just dumb phtotoshoppery. Not really great graphic design fitting for a t-shirt or whatever.

 

Also, this i the best photobomb ever:

[EarBear 460]

speaking of dumb photoshoppery...

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

So, uh, why no gap in Daredevil's teeth for this one?

[wakefresh 689]

speaking of dumb photoshoppery...

 

I want this mask for next Halloween.

[robinsbruce 4985]

speaking of dumb photoshoppery...

 

 

HOLY SHIT EARBEAR. The zoom in on one face/zoom out everyone's face is the same is one of the few types of meme that I think is funny in almost every single instance. This set a new bar for me to compare all others against.

[wakefresh 689]

I'm trying to think of WHEN exactly it was that they finally got CGI under control to a point where it didn't stand out so bad, because there's a lot of post-"Phantom Menace"/turn of the century stuff that didn't look terribly believable at the time that looks even WORSE now. I'm thinking that at some point, filmmakers became less concerned about the "Look what I can do!" aspect and more concerned with integrating it with the real world because there really wasn't anything new under the sun. I could be wrong. Maybe it was when it became affordable on the cheap and EVERYONE started doing it.

 

Anyway, Daredevil was always a guy that could kick your ass that didn't LOOK like he could kick your ass (the blindness thing helped a bit too) that seemed more like he'd be the size of a middle weight boxer or something. Not a huge dude, but really athletic and in great shape. Spidey was like a gymnast, DD was like a boxer, and a guy like Captain America seemed more like an old school bodybuilder or professional wrestler, which is probably more where Affleck falls. This reminds me of another HDTGM miscast, where Topher Grace played Venom in "Spider-Man 3". Venom should have been bigger, especially if they were ever to bring Carnage into the picture (who is sort of a Topher-sized mini Venom). Using THIS logic, Topher Grace could have made a good Daredevil, and Ben Affleck would have been a fine Venom. BAM. Casting problems solved...a decade late...

 

Well, what does that mean for the Batman movie? It seems like there is a literal arms race to make sure the guy playing the superhero has 25-inch biceps, washboard abs, and shoulders the size of watermelons. And Topher Grace is miscast in everything where you don't want a likable, quippy, semi-nerdy dude. If you can't see Micheal Cera being in that role as well, then its not good for Grace either. They should have made Brock more of an asshole instead of a pathetic hanger-on. Chris Evans would have been great in that role, but it would have broken the Marvel Universe --- The Human Torch and Venom are the SAME PERSON!!!!!

 

I always thought they shot around them being the same height, but I haven't re-watched the movie yet. I will do that tonight.

[Kickpuncher 5012]

And Topher Grace is miscast in everything where you don't want a likable, quippy, semi-nerdy dude.

 

Like Spider-Man? Except, you know, as Spider-Man.

[PhillipMedoc 648]

Well, what does that mean for the Batman movie? It seems like there is a literal arms race to make sure the guy playing the superhero has 25-inch biceps, washboard abs, and shoulders the size of watermelons.

Yeah, have you seen pics of Chris Pratt getting beefed up for Guardians Of The Galaxy? Parks & Rec's Andy is more ripped than Superman. I think it was on last week's Indoor Kids, they were talking about the literal arms race. When the first Thor came out, everyone was like "damn"; then Captain America, everyone was all "Damn"; Man Of Steel's Superman (movie aside), everyone was like "DAMN" -- maah wife was fanning herself like she had the vapors.

 

Story about the guy who played Superman and how crazy his workout regime was. When they finished shooting the shirtless scenes (near the end of production), he could finally relax a bit on his diet:

 

"The biggest treat was after a six-week phase when I was getting in shape for shirtless scenes," he told Shortlist. "After that, Zack Snyder bought me an amazing apple pie and a tub of ice cream. Then I ordered a pizza as well, and didn’t even go home — I just sat in a trailer afterwards and ate it. I passed into a food coma after that."

Also: something something about some male actors being held up to impossible standards of perfection similar to how every female in Hollywood is, but that's not equality, it's just more of the same but not exactly, I'm not articulate enough for this.

[imhatch 271]

Also: something something about some male actors being held up to impossible standards of perfection similar to how every female in Hollywood is, but that's not equality, it's just more of the same but not exactly, I'm not articulate enough for this.

eh idk if it is too similar, going back to andy from parks. the dude thru the first five seasons (i havent caught up on the new episodes ;_; ) was a fat slobby bro who would pass out in his tighty whiteys from running a mile. i assume he got the role then got ripped for it. the idea of female perfection tho is probably that you need to have it to get the roles in the first place

[EarBear 460]

 

 

The zoom in on one face/zoom out everyone's face is the same is one of the few types of meme that I think is funny in almost every single instance.

 

It always makes me laugh, too.

 

Also, for future reference, it's usually called a 'tenso' or 'photobomb tenso'. Or possibly a 'reframe tenso'. Something like that. Though I like your name for it more, but it seems like a bitch to type.

[robinsbruce 4985]

 

It always makes me laugh, too.

 

Also, for future reference, it's usually called a 'tenso' or 'photobomb tenso'. Or possibly a 'reframe tenso'. Something like that. Though I like your name for it more, but it seems like a bitch to type.

 

Awesome. Thank you as always Earbear, you delight me.

 

What if I'm the guy who doesn't know the name of anything so I just describe what it literally is? (this is my James Adomian doing Todd Glass bit inside my Earwolf bit)

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

To be fair, I think it's always been referred to as radar sense in the books, so you can't necessarily blame the movie there. Or are you just blaming the over-explanation of it like they can't trust us to figure out what radar sense means?

 

I have sort of a game I play with friends that's similar to your suggestion, only I call it "What Will This Movie Be Called When It Gets Released in the Philippines?". It usually involves taking the most mundane or out-of-context scene or bit from the trailer and pretty much centering it on that. For instance, I'm sure there's no real translation for "The Pacifier", so when it got released in Asian markets, I'd like to think that it had a title that more closely translated to "Hungry Goose" or "Fast and Furious Goose". If there's a wacky house pet or sight gag, it's going to be in your title, and it's not going to make a fucking bit of sense. Holy shit, this should totally be the new name game here...

 

I love this game. So would this movie be, maybe, "Blind Child With Sick"? "Battle: Church Organ"? "Gross Benifer Sex"?

[wakefresh 689]

Yeah, have you seen pics of Chris Pratt getting beefed up for Guardians Of The Galaxy? Parks & Rec's Andy is more ripped than Superman. I think it was on last week's Indoor Kids, they were talking about the literal arms race. When the first Thor came out, everyone was like "damn"; then Captain America, everyone was all "Damn"; Man Of Steel's Superman (movie aside), everyone was like "DAMN" -- maah wife was fanning herself like she had the vapors.

 

Cat & Beard, if you love your wife, beg her not to see the Guardians of the Galaxy movie. She will literally explode.

 

 

Also: something something about some male actors being held up to impossible standards of perfection similar to how every female in Hollywood is, but that's not equality, it's just more of the same but not exactly, I'm not articulate enough for this.

 

It is sort of equality and sort of not, imho. The males on screen are portraying power, so they gain size. The females in movies are the love object, so they are not really allowed to have muscle, but instead are expected to have exaggerated sexual organs and to be much smaller than the men. Gaining lots of size and losing lots of size are both physically draining, but the end goal of them is very different.

 

In addition to having Werner Herzog and Arnold Schrawanegger do audio commentary for each other's movies, if I had a lot of money, I would bankroll a film with Gina Ginaro(sp? from Fast and Furious 6) as the action star lead and have her love romance be someone like Micheal Cera. The villain in this movie would be a female bodybuilder (not those fitness model contestants, but a real-life woman bodybuilder). In fact, all of the villian's lackeys would be other women MMA or bodybuilders that Gina would have to fight off, Game-of-Death style.

 

And at the end, when the Gina and the main villain are fighting, one of the lackeys would show up with a beaten Cera. His eye is black and his shirt is ripped. Gina asks what happened to him and the villain does a creepy, slow laugh. This gives Gina the final push of energy overcome and defeat the villain.

 

Plus there would be plenty of one-liners ala "Raw".

[wakefresh 689]

eh idk if it is too similar, going back to andy from parks. the dude thru the first five seasons (i havent caught up on the new episodes ;_; ) was a fat slobby bro who would pass out in his tighty whiteys from running a mile. i assume he got the role then got ripped for it. the idea of female perfection tho is probably that you need to have it to get the roles in the first place

 

I didn't know that he played a slob on that show (I never watch it, so how could I?) In "Moneyball," he looked like he was in-shape. He played the replacement first-baseman.

[imhatch 271]

him in parks

[wakefresh 689]

him in parks

 

LOL, Jesus, Chris!!!