Episode 7 — Ellie Kemper, Our Close Friend

[JulyDiaz 2797]

Sean and Hayes throw back the curtains on the industry by playing a game of Gmail Roulette and prepare listeners for any type of Hollywood meeting during Let’s Do Lunching. Then, ELLIE KEMPER graciously lends us her time as she recalls old Hollywood Game Nights, chooses her favorite sitcom pitches while playing a game of Ellie-Vator Pitch, tells us if it’s nice to be given clothes to act in, and shares how she’s preparing for her upcoming portrayal of Lady Gaga.

[chanson 9697]

July Diaz, you tease.

[mattyzmatty 157]

Thank you. I will be listening to this today.

 

edit: Or tomorrow maybe, I got a lot on, but I'll get to it.

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Ellie Kemper? There's a chance that I might have had her mistaken with Ellen Kleghorn, which means there's more of a chance that my Popcorn Gallery question was a bit off the mark. So sorry!

[NotTheNarnold 413]

Now that I'm the new engineer does that mean I get to work on other shows too? Like Gelmania for instance.

[MattCameron 595]

Is it a good idea to use a different celebrity's name (not Hayes or Sean) to make a reservation? I'm still trying to wrap my mind around all of this. Does it ever get easier?

[chanson 9697]

Sean Clements, exercising his 2nd Amendment right to keep and bear arms. All I have to say about it is lookin' good bro. No homo.

[chanson 9697]

PS - Secret about Zeppelins (Scoop Troop get out your notebooks): full of hydrogen. Thanks Obama.

[Erika 249]

I hate to pull back the curtain like this, but Ellie Kemper did NOT improvise that song.

 

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Now that I'm the new engineer does that mean I get to work on other shows too? Like Gelmania for instance.

This sounds kinda cynical but they probably won't let you work on Gelmania. They know if they let you on such a transcendent podcast then you won't want to come back down to earth. Then they're back to looking for a new engineer

[chanson 9697]

Yeah, she did that to me too, Erika... Such a fraud. She didn't even know that I post constantly. Like, what the fuck? I wanted to be like "bitch, that's my thing. Just read the damn forums." They didn't teach you to read forums at Princeton, Ellie Kemper?

 

PS - I think it's safe to say that you are alt. You don't have to just think of yourself as alt. You've successfully transformed into it by now I think.

[mattyzmatty 157]

I brought several of my best tourney-tested Magic decks to Sean and Hayes's Hollywood Game Night and boy was my face red when I discovered that they were all set up for Yu-Gi-Oh. I suppose that's why it's a risky move to invite a normal to something like that.

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Not to pull some white knight bullshit, but I really can't stand fake alt girls

[kneisage 2108]

I liked Ellie and I liked this episode because sometimes I make songs too.

[robinsbruce 4985]

I liked Ellie and I liked this episode because sometimes I make songs too.

 

Do you deal (card pun) in alt vibe songs? They don't really have good vibes or bad vibes. Just...different, you know? Anyway, thanks for pulling back the curtain Erika, someone has to keep sean and hayes honest so all the fame and fortune doesn't go to their heads. I do feel like ellie could have done better with chanson's song since she has all that fancy book learnin tho.

 

#scoopinerrydayyall

[kneisage 2108]

Do you deal (card pun) in alt vibe songs? They don't really have good vibes or bad vibes. Just...different, you know? Anyway, thanks for pulling back the curtain Erika, someone has to keep sean and hayes honest so all the fame and fortune doesn't go to their heads. I do feel like ellie could have done better with chanson's song since she has all that fancy book learnin tho.

 

#scoopinerrydayyall

 

 

Yes thank you for asking, I am the alt scene's top vibraphone player.

[Clem Dawg 896]

are you guys eatin turkey for thaknsgiving?

[Toby Keith Sweat 1000]

Do you deal (card pun) in alt vibe songs? They don't really have good vibes or bad vibes. Just...different, you know?

 

Andy... Vibes? Andy... Andrew. Andy. Vibes? Vibes, Andy?

 

Speaking of Vibes, I came into some money recently (just had to stay in my great uncles "haunted" mansion for a night after he died. nice) and finally sprang for the Pro Version. Apparently this time of year they do this "42 Days of Pro Version" thing where you get something new in the mail every day for 42 days. First thing I got the other day was a VHS copy of Vibes signed by none other than Mrs. Sydney Laughtner herself (who I'm told is the world's number 1 Cyndi Lauper impersonator.) So sick. Anyways, I can't recommend the pro version enough. If the next 41 prizes are ANYWHERE as close to as good as this, it's well, well worth the 45 grand that it costs.

[Toby Keith Sweat 1000]

are you guys eatin turkey for thaknsgiving?

 

I know we're all trying to get real PC these days and saying "happy holidays" instead of "merry christmas" or whatever, but please don't take the "tanks but no" out of tanksgiving. Don't forget the reason for the season.

[Asteck 1250]

 

I know we're all trying to get real PC these days

 

Mac guy m'self. The only turkey in my house this thanksgiving will be yours truly. I may be in the minority here, but around this time of year I tend to become a real gobbler... of sweets!

 

A little fun. Stay safe and god bless everyone.

[hugLife 492]

How much did you have to donate to the show to get the pro-version? Is $2,000 a month sufficient? I don't think that I could afford much more right now.

[kobthatreal 5896]

Look Sean, I know you were calling me out on my research because I thought Elby Kemper was Shawn Kempers NBA bound daughter. Well I'm SORRY if my research wasn't up to snub. Oh, I only looked it up on the INTERNET, and oh, I only found a LINK to a WEBSITE, oh and what was on that LINK? An ARTICLE. Let me ask you, you know who wrote the ARTICLE? Jalen Rose. I rest my case. #Fab5

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Turkey?? Oops, you must be a red state tea party fascist. My Tanksgiving meal is going to be a Paleo Native American spread with organic vegan maize, squash, beans, and walnuts.

[Freja 1290]

I don't appreciate how Ellie tried to downplay how crucial her game night appearance was to her achieving fortune and fame in Hollywood. It's obvious she doesn't want the rest of us to have the same opportunities as her. Sean and Hayes are breaking their f-ing backs to give us amazing insider tips here but Ellie was just being selfish. Ellie, if you're reading this (and I know you are) just know that I'm brushing up on my Apples to Apples skills, my mouth foaming as I use guided imagery to envision myself destroying you at the next Hollywood Game Night. I will make it in Hollywood. I WILL. Ok, so I may be Swedish and have no discernible interests or talents related to show business but that doesn't mean I won't make it!

[Hunter 96]

I used Hayes and Sean's Let's Do Lunching advice in real life. I don't live in Hollywood though, so I had a meeting with my dad instead of a famouse celebrity. I called my dad by the waither's name (Morgald), and I called the waither (Morgald) dad. Now I have a new dad. Thanks Hollywood Handbook.

 

An update on the old bucket I got from ordering the pro version: I found a slimy snail inside! I named it Hayes, but I'm wondering if I should have named it Sean instead.

 

 

 

Hayes

Sean

Hollywood Handbook