Episode 17 — Dominic Dierkes, Our Close Friend

[JulyDiaz 2797]

Sean and Hayes are back from the Sundance Film Festival to share their Top Picks for this year’s Breakout Artist. Then, Sean’s protégé DOMINIC DIERKES joins the boys to discuss the ins and outs of his infamous Fart Gun sketch, make each other feel old, and speak on why there is no white history month as they reach into the Popcorn Gallery.

[hugLife 492]

I really like how Hayes was flexing some muscle this week. It will be useful for when he confronts engineer Brett over where the F all the sound effects were.... talk about a "Flop-corn Gallery," am I right??

 

It looks like someone will be getting a motorcycle real soon if you know what I mean...

[chanson 9697]

Snowboarding? What is this? 1997?

 

Anyway, I'm going skiing tomorrow and Thursday. I'll let you know if I see any movies worth fucking. That's how it works, right?

[Freja 1290]

Will an episode ever go by where Hayes + Sean DON'T mention huge male genitalia? I hope not!

 

Chanson, plz report back on how much pow you shredded. I found a pair of XC skis in a dumpster last week (ok, I was living in it) and tried 'em out this weekend. But anyways... SPORT HEADS, YOU N' ME. ALWAYS. (trying to form bonds on this forum, even if it means talking about my garbage skis... is it working?)

[hugLife 492]

Yeah, look at us snow freaks in here just bonding away haha. Not many people have the passion for shredding like we do. Clemmy thrashes with a snowboard, Chansy slaloms the slopes, Frej-hey-hey straight up walks for miles in the woods, and me tearing it UP on my cafeteria tray at a local hill.

 

Somebody notify Snap! because we all just started singing "I got the powder!"

[kobthatreal 5896]

I feel like Dom was really playin coy with my question. But you can expect shyness with some one named after a Deer's kiss, which is super rare. I loved it regardless.

 

And maybe its cause I'm from South Florida, but when they're talking about SunCannes FeeelmFestival I don't know why they kept saying they were gonna shred powder(snort cocaine)on a snow board(cocaine tray)wearing small helmets(jimmy hats.) Is this regional terminology?

[greggy 15909]

this morning i went to the gym and got all wet and gross so i took a shower and then when i was walking to my car my hair froze to my scarf

[skizelo 2536]

"hey guys, wanna feel young? the artist won best oscar a year ago" is the truest thing going today, so congratulations to whichever of the three said it.

[DEATHMAN 3317]

Really enjoyed your analysis of The Sundance Kid Festival and that you were wearing shorts and pants at the same time

[chanson 9697]

Will an episode ever go by where Hayes + Sean DON'T mention huge male genitalia? I hope not!

 

Chanson, plz report back on how much pow you shredded. I found a pair of XC skis in a dumpster last week (ok, I was living in it) and tried 'em out this weekend. But anyways... SPORT HEADS, YOU N' ME. ALWAYS. (trying to form bonds on this forum, even if it means talking about my garbage skis... is it working?)

 

Yeah, look at us snow freaks in here just bonding away haha. Not many people have the passion for shredding like we do. Clemmy thrashes with a snowboard, Chansy slaloms the slopes, Frej-hey-hey straight up walks for miles in the woods, and me tearing it UP on my cafeteria tray at a local hill.

 

Somebody notify Snap! because we all just started singing "I got the powder!"

 

 

Freja (Or as I like to say, Froyo, because of that time we did sports together. Remember? Because we're actual friends and have nicknames. Because of the sports we do.) and HugLife (or as I like to say, Hug "Bobby Brown... the skier, not because you're black, but because you're a good skier in this scenario, like Bobby Brown, probably shoulda used Gus Kenworthy, but I digress, Bobby Brown is a better aerialist and therefore more impressive, so a higher compliment, but easily misconstrued" Life, again, because we do sports and are real sports friends),

 

Hoping for a pow day!

 

Can't wait to tell you how gnar it is up there and how much shredding I will have done by that time!

[hugLife 492]

Uh oh, someone just got his pro-version platinum package gift.

 

I would like to take this moment to thank Sean and Hayes for being so generous. I know that it probably cost so much to make it snow this hard in Virginia, but you knew how much I enjoyed that "pow" joke and you just wanted to make a fan smile. I won't demean the 8" you sent me by trying to take a measly picture of it (you said not to even mention it in the forums but I just had to because I am just so so happy).

 

I know that you both have to maintain your professional image over at Earwolf, but in my heart, I will forever refer your show as Hollywood Handfriendbook (still working on the name).

[Hunter 96]

Hayes and Sean, wanna feel young? This episode that came out yesterday is my new favorite episode.

[RyanWright 713]

Mr. Investor

Let's face it. When you drag coat tails like Sean and Hayes, there is no shortage of those seeking to capitalize on their genius ventures. I'm sure this forum is inundated with spies, from all major networks, gathering info in a futile attempt to emulate this magic. I worked on an assembly line in a factory that made monopoly pieces when I first heard episode 1, by episode 8 I had waged a hostile takeover of that same company, not to mention beating the wheels off of Rich Uncle Pennybags simply for the hell of it.

My life is a true testimonial to Hollywood Handbook and I assume every other member of this forum is a rich, successful, zero fucks giving individual like myself because you listen to the show. Bravo to these philanthropists, but pro version members lets get real yo. Sean and Hayes are fucking rich as shit and would sell this show like they have thousands of others. Donating is not enough. We have to keep them entertained with witty banter on this board. Believe me, they will lose interest, take a sabbatical, and the next thing you know Jerk Fogeynose is raping your ears. Hell just yesterday I was so bored I made a migrant worker run suicides in my Nike dri fit basketball shorts just to see if the guy at the sports store was a liar. and I'm nowhere near these guys level. Make your questions thought provoking, make your comments actually say something. I think we owe it to our hosts. Well I dont know if its these shorts amazing efficiency of wicking moisture away from my skin to keep me cooler or if I am always hotter than my surroundings but this cool guy is out. And Sean if you have read to this point I am sure you are bussin your whole shit up so I await my nickname upgrade. Peace in the middle east

[robinsbruce 4985]

Mr. Investor

Let's face it. When you drag coat tails like Sean and Hayes, there is no shortage of those seeking to capitalize on their genius ventures. I'm sure this forum is inundated with spies, from all major networks, gathering info in a futile attempt to emulate this magic. I worked on an assembly line in a factory that made monopoly pieces when I first heard episode 1, by episode 8 I had waged a hostile takeover of that same company, not to mention beating the wheels off of Rich Uncle Pennybags simply for the hell of it.

My life is a true testimonial to Hollywood Handbook and I assume every other member of this forum is a rich, successful, zero fucks giving individual like myself because you listen to the show. Bravo to these philanthropists, but pro version members lets get real yo. Sean and Hayes are fucking rich as shit and would sell this show like they have thousands of others. Donating is not enough. We have to keep them entertained with witty banter on this board. Believe me, they will lose interest, take a sabbatical, and the next thing you know Jerk Fogeynose is raping your ears. Hell just yesterday I was so bored I made a migrant worker run suicides in my Nike dri fit basketball shorts just to see if the guy at the sports store was a liar. and I'm nowhere near these guys level. Make your questions thought provoking, make your comments actually say something. I think we owe it to our hosts. Well I dont know if its these shorts amazing efficiency of wicking moisture away from my skin to keep me cooler or if I am always hotter than my surroundings but this cool guy is out. And Sean if you have read to this point I am sure you are bussin your whole shit up so I await my nickname upgrade. Peace in the middle east

 

tl;dr ^---This dude knows what I'm fuckin' talkin' about. THIS IS WHAT I WARNED OF ON THE SECOND FORUM PAGE FOR EPISODE 10 (LET ME CHECK MY REFERENCES, OH SHIT THAT'S RIGHT I TOTES DID)

 

These spies are trying to swag Dracula Sean, and I guess Hayes too but as a pro version member card holder I won't let that happen. I have seen the light (or more accurately the childlike hand writing of our hosts) and IT. WAS. BEAUTIFUL.

[chanson 9697]

Mr. Investor

Let's face it. When you drag coat tails like Sean and Hayes, there is no shortage of those seeking to capitalize on their genius ventures. I'm sure this forum is inundated with spies, from all major networks, gathering info in a futile attempt to emulate this magic. I worked on an assembly line in a factory that made monopoly pieces when I first heard episode 1, by episode 8 I had waged a hostile takeover of that same company, not to mention beating the wheels off of Rich Uncle Pennybags simply for the hell of it.

My life is a true testimonial to Hollywood Handbook and I assume every other member of this forum is a rich, successful, zero fucks giving individual like myself because you listen to the show. Bravo to these philanthropists, but pro version members lets get real yo. Sean and Hayes are fucking rich as shit and would sell this show like they have thousands of others. Donating is not enough. We have to keep them entertained with witty banter on this board. Believe me, they will lose interest, take a sabbatical, and the next thing you know Jerk Fogeynose is raping your ears. Hell just yesterday I was so bored I made a migrant worker run suicides in my Nike dri fit basketball shorts just to see if the guy at the sports store was a liar. and I'm nowhere near these guys level. Make your questions thought provoking, make your comments actually say something. I think we owe it to our hosts. Well I dont know if its these shorts amazing efficiency of wicking moisture away from my skin to keep me cooler or if I am always hotter than my surroundings but this cool guy is out. And Sean if you have read to this point I am sure you are bussin your whole shit up so I await my nickname upgrade. Peace in the middle east

 

One correction, and it's an important one which is why I'm interrupting my mid-week ski vacation (true story) to post here. I'm not rich because I listen to the show. I was already a man of considerable leisure with his name on his license plate before listening. I was just attracted to people who are also filled with a sour contempt for the majority of the other human beings on the planet as well as a deep love of reality shows. Otherwise, spot on. You, in addition to Erika Thompson who has publicly stated as much, have undoubtedly noticed I post on this board constantly. If we don't amuse or horrify Sean Hayes they might start another podcast and give up on this one, which would probably lead to the suicide of TJ Lavin, the patron saint of this podcast.

[chanson 9697]

PS - shredded some serious pow and dialed the gnar way the fuck up today. I did it in honor of my fellow sports bros here on the forums. You guys put the amp in my stoke. It's currently snowing heavily and my prediction for tomorrow is another heavy pow day, so get ready to open the kennel and take off the muzzle because this pow-hound is gonna shit all over Crystal Mountain's pow carpet tomorrow.

 

Later bros.

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

I didn't see Psych last night, can anybody tell me what I missed?

[Toby Keith Sweat 1000]

I didn't see Psych last night, can anybody tell me what I missed?

 

The guy used his psychic powers to figure out who the murderer was but then he used his psychic powers to figure out that it was actually a different guy. Not the first guy.

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

The only reason I asked was to help set up this week's Scoop Troop Hot N Fresh Scoop--Mr Psych himself, Dulé Hill, will be stopping by to talk about his own red carpet-lined back hallways. Fire away with your questions!

[hugLife 492]

Hey Dulé,

I saw you in the beginning of the movie Sugar Hill a long time ago, but it quickly became too scary for me to watch. Did your character end up accepting that full scholarship to Georgetown University and live happily ever after?

[MattCameron 595]

Very insightful forum this week. Glad to see the that Thelonius is making such cogent points. I have been traveling this week much like Chanson except way shittier because he's skiing and I'm trying to put together a multi-million dollar film deal (fucking Will Smith is refusing to budge; I won't get into it on here), but I realized today that Sean and Hayes may have thought I lost interest since I haven't posted yet. Au contraire, my intrepid life hosts. This episode with Dominic "The Bombenic" Dierkes has pushed me to the brink of Hollywood self-righteousness. I feel like a fucking eagle on cocaine. I'm going to go to this meeting. I'll let you know how it goes.

[MattCameron 595]

Crushed it.

[Clem Dawg 896]

Crushed it.

[burdrulz 1760]

hate coming to the forums this late.

 

watching magnolia again tonight. It has julian moore in it.

 

she did a backflip in it if you look closely. She plays Frank t Mackee

[chanson 9697]

Crushed it.

 

Ummmm not even a fucking spoiler alert?

 

Some people might have wanted to hear how fucking light and fluffy the 10" inches of pow was today before they heard that I totally crushed it. Or how I saw two elk by the side of the road on my drive through Washington's scenic Mt. Baker-Snoqualmie National Forest. Or how Creamy Creamy Oooh Creamy was playing in the day lodge but everyone in there was sucky fucking and I didn't even get to see the money shot because people don't even go skiing to see the movies anymore. Or how I'm planning on getting shitfaced during the Super Bowl so that if the Seahawks lose I won't even know or be forced to realize that every Seattle sports team will at some point let me down if I care about them and I should continue not caring like I have done ever since the Mariners fucked me over. But I guess that's not important to you. All you care about is the sucky fucking like all the rest of those so-called skiers.

 

Good day to you, sir.