Episode 22 — Jon Gabrus, Our Close Friend

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Hey Scoop Troop! Do you have questions about being in a feeilm franchise? Perhaps the star of the Finally Destination series, Devon Sawa, can answer your questions! Start asking!

[xoValeriexo 4369]

Devon Sawa, you played the real boy version of Casper in that movie with Christina Ricci. So how many orders of fries do you estimate you've eaten in your life?

[xoValeriexo 4369]

 

I work with this dude who's never heard of that before either. That blew my mind, it was one of my favorite things ever. Also, there is this trick if you lay on the floor face down with your eyes closed and someone holds your arms up for like a minute and a half, then slowly starts to lower them. As they get lower, you will swear that your arms are going through the floor. It's really great. You just have to trust that the people doing it to you wont do something gross to you. Like put their nuts on you or something.... gross

 

Burdie, I'll be honest with you, that sounds cool but also too scary. Yes, this was a convenient opportunity to say "too scary", but I also really mean it. It freaks me out to think about my body doing things involuntarily. And don't even get me started on smooth muscle. I'm also afraid of being hypnotized. I've seen some people be genuinely hypnotized at the fair - and like a reality show, you can tell which ones are fake and which are real - and they look like dummies. Quick, someone analyze me.

[robinsbruce 4985]

Quick, someone analyze me.

 

Daddy Issues.

 

 

 

JK Veebs, you teed that one up for us tho.

[burdrulz 1760]

anyone up for a scary jam sesh?

 

get ready to have to call your freakin' mom into the room and turn the gd video off because you're not going to be able to pull yourself from behind your bed the whole time this is playing.

 

 

no wait I mean...

 

 

[MattCameron 595]

The forum this week has me on a one way ticket to Laughtown (formerly the People's Republic of Chuckleville).

 

I have a serious question for all the Scoop Troopers, though: if you had a jet and it would fly you anywhere in the world, but you had to stay at that destination for the rest of your life, where would it be?

[RyanWright 713]

 

I have a serious question for all the Scoop Troopers, though: if you had a jet and it would fly you anywhere in the world, but you had to stay at that destination for the rest of your life, where would it be?

 

Antigua is the obvious answer but I have to go with Iceland. total pop. around 300,000 and they have a secret fairy language case closed

[chanson 9697]

The forum this week has me on a one way ticket to Laughtown (formerly the People's Republic of Chuckleville).

 

I have a serious question for all the Scoop Troopers, though: if you had a jet and it would fly you anywhere in the world, but you had to stay at that destination for the rest of your life, where would it be?

 

...I think you know where this is going. Also, they build jets in Seattle, so you wouldn't have to stay here forever thus invalidating the question.

[xoValeriexo 4369]

I have a serious question for all the Scoop Troopers, though: if you had a jet and it would fly you anywhere in the world, but you had to stay at that destination for the rest of your life, where would it be?

 

I feel like you're hoping we'll all take big risks, but I'm a creature of habit. I would probably just stay home. So thanks for the jet, but I'm cool. I don't have a pilot's license anyway.

[hugLife 492]

The forum this week has me on a one way ticket to Laughtown (formerly the People's Republic of Chuckleville).

 

I have a serious question for all the Scoop Troopers, though: if you had a jet and it would fly you anywhere in the world, but you had to stay at that destination for the rest of your life, where would it be?

 

For the rest of my life? I won't give Chanson the sweet satisfaction of saying that his city is pretty happening, so I will say somewhere 2 degrees cooler (literally and figuratively): Vancouver.

 

What would be keeping us at the destination though? Couldn't I just pick a hemisphere?

[MattCameron 595]

What would be keeping us at the destination though? Couldn't I just pick a hemisphere?

 

I know I'm going to get a lot of shit for this, and I really don't mean to scare you guys, but Frankensteins. Lots and lots of Frankensteins. Every time you think you have an out, there's a Frankenstein, right next to the Space Needle (Chanson), the H.R. MacMillan Space Center (HugLife), right next to the fjord?? (Thelonius), and, of course, right there in your stylish chaise lounge (Valerie). The Frankensteins are pretty handy and helpful though, so if you ever have to replace your hot water heater or get to your local grocer they can usually help out. Actually, they are pretty nice. They really listen, you know. I know it's only been about 20 seconds since I started writing this, but I think I'm really starting to have feelings for Frankenstein(s). Will you be my Frankenstein(s) forever?

 

At any rate, the right answer is Hollywood, guys.

[Joe McGurl 8358]

 

I know I'm going to get a lot of shit for this, and I really don't mean to scare you guys, but Frankensteins. Lots and lots of Frankensteins. Every time you think you have an out, there's a Frankenstein, right next to the Space Needle (Chanson), the H.R. MacMillan Space Center (HugLife), right next to the fjord?? (Thelonius), and, of course, right there in your stylish chaise lounge (Valerie). The Frankensteins are pretty handy and helpful though, so if you ever have to replace your hot water heater or get to your local grocer they can usually help out. Actually, they are pretty nice. They really listen, you know. I know it's only been about 20 seconds since I started writing this, but I think I'm really starting to have feelings for Frankenstein(s). Will you be my Frankenstein(s) forever?

 

At any rate, the right answer is Hollywood, guys.

 

Didn't read. Too scary.

[Toby Keith Sweat 1000]

I'll tell you where I wouldn't go-- Transylvania!!! If I wanted to be surrounded by a bunch of lifeless blood-suckers I'd go to my ex-wife's family reunion!!!

[robinsbruce 4985]

Never forget.

 

[Freja 1290]

Ja Rule is probably the only non-politican celebrity run-in I've ever had (as a recap, my parents set me up for Hollywood failure as I grew up on a nowhere Swedish farm and then when I finally came to the U.S. I moved to one of the most rural states imaginable which is why I have to go to my local Sears store just to listen to the HH podcast). Anyway, Ja sat behind me on a Southwest flight to New Hampshire a few years back (post-Ashanti, pre-prison). He's a super tiny munchkin, very irritable, and travels with a huge bodyguard (which.... why? Nobody on the flight recognized him, and as Sean and Hayes would tell you; you ain't nobody if you're flying coach!) My friend kept needling me to say something to him but I was all "nooo... he sounds mad" eventually I turned around and told him in a very official voice that I was a fan of his work and he was very nice!! His bodyguard seemed really happy that I recognized Ja-- I presume his job security was tenuous at that point. OK THAT'S MY BORING CELEB STORY BRAG HOPE YOU'RE ALL JEALOUS BYEEEE

[skizelo 2536]

My celeb story is that I once walked past Bill Oddie and his family. I nodded to him since I'd recognized his face but hadn't placed it, and he scowled at me like I'd pissed on his shoes.

[hugLife 492]

I once shook the hand of my local congressman #therealamericanheroes

[chanson 9697]

My mom took me out of school to see Nelson Mandela speak at Benaroya Hall when I was nine. That was pretty cool. But he wasn't sitting near me on an airplane, especially not on a Southwest airlines flight. Dale Chihuly was in front of me on a flight from Seattle to Sun Valley, Idaho though... It's hard to be anonymous when you wear an eye patch and have melted glass on your shoes.

[hugLife 492]

My mom took me out of school to see Nelson Mandela speak at Benaroya Hall when I was nine. That was pretty cool. But he wasn't sitting near me on an airplane, especially not on a Southwest airlines flight. Dale Chihuly was in front of me on a flight from Seattle to Sun Valley, Idaho though... It's hard to be anonymous when you wear an eye patch and have melted glass on your shoes.

 

The real question here...why on earth were you flying to Idaho? Were you going huckleberry picking?...since it is the state fruit that I didn't need to look up.

[chanson 9697]

Sun Valley.... Noted ski resort and playground of the rich and fabulous? I don't know why would anyone go to such a place?

[kobthatreal 5896]

I met famous aeronautical engineer Giovanni Caproni. He kept calling me "Japanese Boy."

[hugLife 492]

Chanson: if Sun Valley is anything like Death Valley, it sounds like a terrible place to go skiing. Unless there is a giant indoor facility like in Dubai (in which case I thoroughly apologize)

 

MBoP: dop bah doo-wop. You are really old.

[chanson 9697]

Actually, they do this thing where they build a ski resort on an actual mountain in a northerly lattitude, away from the coast so that during the winter the clouds make snow instead of rain because it gets cold there... Really fascinating stuff. Cutting-edge science shit. I think that's why Arnold Schwarzenegger and some other famouses live there, because of the science and how cutting-edge it is.

 

Official motto of Sun Valley Resort: "Dubai ain't got shit on this bitch."

[hugLife 492]

Screw science. Let the machines do all the hard work.

 

 

#skynetwasright

[chanson 9697]

PS - lots of love for the state of Idaho. From the neo-nazis up at Priest Lake to the jet-boat manufacturers in Lewiston on to the large basque community in Boise and in to the heavily Mormon southeast of the state, Idaho is a solid cushion for Washington and Oregon's pushin'. I mean, besides my affinity for Sun Valley I actually categorically prefer Montana but, you know, Idaho's pretty alright.

 

PPS - new slogan for Idaho: "Not as good as Montana, but more white-supremacists and Schwarzeneggers"