Episode 36 — John Cochran, Our Close Friend

[burdrulz 1760]

my band practice was canceled so i used the time to make this instead....

 

don judge, i don't actually play lap steel i'm just messin around.

 

https://soundcloud.c.../small-potatoes

 

edit: val i hope you don mind that i changed tha lyrics slightly...

 

 

DUDE WOW!~!!

 

so good!

[burdrulz 1760]

Alright.

 

I may or may not have finished all of my classes for grads cool. I may or may not have been drinking since three durty this afternoon. i may or may not be drunk

 

Look alls I;,m saying is you guys are cool, and veebs, i wiil have you a draft by tomorrow afternoon and since were all sharing creative stuffs i made some jazz sometimes and I uploaded it but never shared it with you guys because I dont want to be lame. Anyways heres whats my dick playing bass and drums and rhythm all looped and shit and then I just did the solo in one take. fifteen minute songs guys, anyone can make them and they arent self serving or pretentious, despite what my or your ex girlfriends say.

 

Be good you silly honkeys\

 

https://soundcloud.c...et-dreams-sucka

 

 

This is also really good!

 

So not joking, Steely Dan is my favorite band ever.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g4d8XrDyArE

 

 

and this kind of goes there a little.

 

Just thought maybe we could share a similar interest and bond.

 

Does anyone else like steely dan? or am I an old asshole.

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

What's so "steely" about Steely Dan? I don't get it...

 

Also how old is everyone? I think that's confusing lots of issues around here. I'm 23, but I'm going to be 24 on August 20.

 

Also, another thing I noticed: Agata and I have similar birthdays. She's August 14. Should we have a combined birthday party? Also I'll be in London at the time so it has to be like August 25.

[kobthatreal 5896]

I just turned 21 four years ago and I ain't gettin any older. If you don't acknowledge the aging process it will stop working. It thrives on attention. How do u think I bagged a sweet 19 year old Cuban/Venezuelan goddess? Cause I look like I'm perpetually 21. Because I stopped celebrating birthdays. Now I celebrate the day before my birthday so hard that I blackout all during my bday therefore it never exists.... Sure, I can't rent a car or nice hotel and my insurance isn't gettin any lower, but nothing in life is free... Except for the money, bae.

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

I'm not going to state my age until someone else states theirs and it's higher than mine.

 

Oh, wait, just did MBOP math. I'm good to go.

 

I'm 12.

[Clem Dawg 896]

Sorry for this revealing peek behind the curtain, but we are recording TWO episodes tomorrow so we need twice the PG

 

Matt Gourley

 

Lennon Parham/Jessica St. Clair

 

Go Go Go!!!

[Freja 1290]

26.

 

My female friends who know things about taking care of your appearance and looking good and stuff shamed me into buying anti-wrinkle cream this past birthday. Looks like I'm the oldest one here (fuck) so any of y'all need a babysitter or sumthin? I make cool snacks, like, I cut up apple slices and put half a jar of chunky peanut butter on them. Sometimes I sprinkle cinnamon over all of it because I think I read somewhere it may have curbed Alzheimer's in rats?? Maybe it was curry? Hope you guys will still hang out with me despite my advanced age and inability to stay on my parents' health insurance

[showshowbro 1177]

24

 

lennon parham/jessica st. clair -- who's ur favorite soccer ball??

 

matt gouhly -- which dead actors also auditioned for the part of ghost dad??

[showshowbro 1177]

okay, so i'll elaborate a bit.

 

i'm 24 but i haven't cried since the second grade.

 

i have my own insurance and i use it to meet hot nurses.

 

i have a thing for apple slices.

[gototimsvlogdotnet 2886]

Lenn/Jess: Did you like my song? I'm a really big fan (actually my flair on the Earwolf Subreddit is "Womp it Up!") and it would mean so much to me if you guys liked my song. Also, can you ask Sean and Hayes if they liked the song?

 

Gourley: In my table, you wrote in the drawer that it was your drawer. Why do you think that, and how do you sleep at night knowing you claimed something that wasn't yours? (Sean in particular should be offended by this since it's like how the white Gourley took the land from the native Earwolf table users).

[greggy 15909]

mr gourley, when you're improvising and you are holding a pretend coffee cup, do you prefer decaf or regular imaginary coffee?

 

ms parham and ms st clair, i heard you talking about future plans for your great TV show Playing House on the USA network on Never Not Funny. how far ahead do you have stories planned out?

 

this is going to be an amazing set of episodes, thank you for making this show mr clements and mr davenports

[kobthatreal 5896]

Matt Gourley, what's your strangest experience with a woman?

 

Lennon Parham/Jessica St. Clair, who wears the pants in your comedic partnership?

[Bozos of Basketball 3689]

Matt... did the jerk kids in grade school call you Matt Girly? If so, which weapon did you use to beat their butts?

 

JSC and Leno... Playing House... isn't that what Hugh Laurie does? Like, what do you do on the show?

[mwn 5470]

I'm 26. Guys, aren't people in their 20s SO INTERESTING??????????????

 

 

Mssr. Gourley: Successful men rarely have an outlet for their insecurities. Are the character shortcomings spotlighted in Superego really a cry for help? Please answer in a funny voice.

 

Mme. Parham: If you were Austin Powers in the movies instead of Mike Myers, what would your catchphrases be instead of "do I make you horny?", "oh behave!", and "my wife"?

Mme. St. Clair: If you were trapped in a steel foundry like the end of Terminator 2, what's the strongest enemy you think you could defeat with the materials available? Probably a bear at least, right?

[PatrickMichaelMeyer 189]

Matt: I once attended a party at your house that was advertised as "planning to have endless Molly and Addy". Why weren't you more up-front in letting us know that you meant your American Girl dolls would be out and free for us to play with?

 

Par & Claire: What do you say to the pundits who are calling you guys "Just taller Amy Poehler and Tina Feys". Followup: I loved you both on SNL.

[PatrickMichaelMeyer 189]

Another follow up:

 

Par & Claire: You two ladies are renowned in the improv comedy field as being real "Dialect Demons". Your regional accents are always spot on. Can you both do your famous Buffalo, NY accents and your bit about shoveling snow for us for old time sake?

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

Sorry for this revealing peek behind the curtain, but we are recording TWO episodes tomorrow so we need twice the PG Matt Gourley Lennon Parham/Jessica St. Clair Go Go Go!!!

Matt Gourley, you have an overall rating of 4.7 on RateMyProfessors.com and a very spicy pepper for the hotness category. Did those metrics rise or fall after you puked your face off in that episode of Drunk History?

[DEATHMAN 3317]

Dear Matt Gourley,

 

You have a podcast themed around psychology. What other fake sciences do you like?

[OcterDoctopus 1079]

[Not_Your_Mothers_Dick_Jokes 12]

Jessica Street Clear, I heard you were once pee'd on at a Bruce Springsteen concert. Were those VIP tickets or does The Boss pee on everyone who comes back stage?

[Not_Your_Mothers_Dick_Jokes 12]

Lennon Parham, I know your father was the late, great Thomas Lennon, sorry for your loss, will you portray him in the rumored biopic "Dangled Over the Edge"?

[chanson 9697]

I am 24 years young! Ahaha haha ha ha ... meh I give up on life.

 

Lennon Parham, what dead actor would you most like to fuck? It can be an actress too, because I'm progressive like that, as Freja knows. And because my state, the great state of Washington, legalized such activity several years ago in a ballot initiative in which I (and Macklemore, may peace be upon him) proudly supported marriage equality. Just in case my progressive credentials weren't engraved into my chest with a sharp enough knife already. (Love you, Freja)

 

Jessica St. Clair, what dead actor (or actress) would you most like to see Lennon Parham fuck? Yes, you can include yourself if Lennon first kills you.

 

Matt Gourley, would you fuck Lennon Parham or Jessica St. Clair first? They can be dead or alive.

[Andrew 4646]

23, turning 24 in July. Which makes me about a month older than Mr Treese, so it really grates that he's got all this disposable income to spend on tables when I'm sat here in this cardboard box under a bridge.

 

Ms Parham - you had a baby in April last year. Jessica St. Clair had a baby in October last year. Do you think she did this to copy you? Is it annoying to have such a clingy hanger-on as a "friend"?

 

Also, could you explain how you get a baby? My parents told my school that I wasn't allowed to be in the lessons about babies. Do you have to eat a seed? Where can I buy the seeds?

 

Mr Grawley, you haven't put a podcast out for over a year. Is that due to laziness or mere incompetence? Sean and Hayes manage to put one out every week, so come on, step up your game.

[Andrew 4646]

And not to get all British again, but AREN'T YOU GUYS ALL EXCITED ABOUT THE WORLD CUP?!

[showshowbro 1177]

And not to get all British again, but AREN'T YOU GUYS ALL EXCITED ABOUT THE WORLD CUP?!

 

SO PUMPED. The only perk of working the night shift is being able to FINALLY catch all the games. Yesterday I woke up and was like HMMMMM do I wear Spain or Netherlands??? (<< joke, clearly I was going to wear the dutch jersey -- i only own a spain jersey 'cause my sister studied abroad there).

 

Best of luck to your Brits -- their ugly ass dump and chase methods just might work this evening (<<half joking because british soccer is MAD ugly but I always root for you guys and will be wearing my english national knockoff all day long).

 

Umm let's see -- I should probly make a joke but I don't feel that funny which is bad 'cause i have a [redacted] show in 2 hours..

 

....and the new US kits are sexy as fuck and we're gonna win the cup (<< that's the punchline).