Ben & Arthur

[MarcNaimark 0]

Apparently known at "the gay The Room". The script and production values are just as bad (or worse), but the acting does not achieve the summits of bad found in The Room. It's just very, very bad. There is alas very little screaming. On the other hand we do have one actor bowing his head to hide the fact that he's making the sound effect of a phone ringing. Really.

 

See the Buzzfeed interview of the writer/director/composer/producer/gofer here.

 

I've just seen it. It is excruciatingly bad. It had one theatrical screening, then was distributed on DVD. Does that make it eligible for HDTGM? I hope so.

 

A great game is watching the props move from one set to another. In particular the faux stained glass in the main characters' bedroom is used to show that we're in the office of the parish priest (cum hitman broker). Also in his office, a folding card table that serves as his desk, and a folding chair we see in just about every location used.

[RyanSz 3140]

A Z-movie with the acting level of The Room concerning a gay couple trying to get married. What makes this so insane is that one of the guys' brother is a radical Christian who in an attempt to get back into the church after they excommunicate him due to his gay brother, hatches a plan with his priest to kill the gay couple. This is followed by a Scarface level revenge plot after the attempted assassination goes awry. The entire movie is on Youtube and is amazing.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=G4f7bPBzUm0

[Lando 2019]

Yikes, this sounds like it was written by a bizarro Kirk Cameron...

[RyanSz 3140]

I almost wonder if they had Cameron in mind when they created some of the Christian characters.

[RyanSz 3140]

I must apologize to the cast of The Room, they are Brando-esque compared to the actors in this film. After watching this I can honestly posit an argument that this might have been responsible for it taking so long for gay marriage to be legalized in numerous states. The Tommy Wiseau of this movie who plays Arthur plays the most stereotypical "flaming diva queen" I've ever seen to the point of it being offensive. Then you have the Christian brother who starts just murdering people because that will stop his brother from getting married apparently after eating chicken imbued with holy water didn't change him. This film has the editing style of Birdemic and its only saving grace is that it is unbelievably bonkers towards the end. Also the church scene where the homophobic brother meets with his pastor is great since it looks like the entire set was made of old cardboard boxes and painted by first graders.

[Joven 373]

Then you have the Christian brother who starts just murdering people because that will stop his brother from getting married apparently after eating chicken imbued with holy water didn't change him.

No no, the dinner was just to try and convince him to become straight. The holy water potion (literally called a potion in the movie) was what was meant to change him forcefully with the Magic of Jesus.

 

The brilliant plan to trick his brother into drinking it...was to put it in a little plastic bottle and tape it to the outside of his door. Because I know the first thing I think when I see a strange bottle of liquid taped to my door is "I gotta ingest that post haste!" And in a move that shows what a great movie maker was behind this, with no context clues or information presented other than 'heres a weird bottle taped to my door', he is instantly able to tell what it is, what it is supposed to do, and who put it there.

 

Another great part about that is how indignant and unbelieving the brother is that his foolproof plan didn't work.

 

This film has the editing style of Birdemic.

Its definitely got the parking shots down.

[RyanSz 3140]

No no, the dinner was just to try and convince him to become straight. The holy water potion (literally called a potion in the movie) was what was meant to change him forcefully with the Magic of Jesus.

 

The brilliant plan to trick his brother into drinking it...was to put it in a little plastic bottle and tape it to the outside of his door. Because I know the first thing I think when I see a strange bottle of liquid taped to my door is "I gotta ingest that post haste!" And in a move that shows what a great movie maker was behind this, with no context clues or information presented other than 'heres a weird bottle taped to my door', he is instantly able to tell what it is, what it is supposed to do, and who put it there.

 

Another great part about that is how indignant and unbelieving the brother is that his foolproof plan didn't work.

 

Yeah when I saw the tape I thought someone had taped the door so that it wouldn't lock in order for a killer to easily sneak into the apartment, but then Arthur had the bottle and instantly recited what it was to Ben. I was more shocked by Arthur's version of Tony Montana's sister's monologue at the end of Scarface where he's basically yelling at his brother to bang him. Also, am I wrong in thinking that Arthur was a character designed for the viewer to hate gay people? Every time something doesn't go his way he throws a temper tantrum, acts like a diva, or MURDERS someone.

[Joven 373]

When I saw the tape and him messing with the door I thought he was going to rig up a needle that would inject it whenever he opened the door, ala urban legends of aidsy gas station pumps. But no, its basically a magical gay-to-straight 'light grenade', except even less effective since it doesn't even have "drink me" written on it.

 

This movie does has some pretty great tantrums. Also its not just him, basically everyone in this movie is one stubbed toe away from a 5 minute hissy fit, and a passive aggressive note about purchased cream cheese fat content from a murder at all times.

[RyanSz 3140]

Also, why do you need an MBA to open your own porn store?

[Joven 373]

Well opening a porn store is a difficult undertaking, there's supply side issues, zoning issues, advertising and an increasingly shrinking marketplace in a world going digital. It's not just a quick and easy thing, which is why it was such a prominent and constant struggle that informed his character...by that I mean in one scene he says he wants to do it, and then another scene his brother says he did even though we never see it or any indication that it either happened or is in the process of happening.

 

Maybe he should have stuck to stripping, those were some hot moves he busted out at that audition.

[RyanSz 3140]

Yeah but with that body and balding head, he was definitely looking at the Tuesday afternoon shift.