Anchorman's Dilemma

[mmyes 84]

Hello dear friends,

 

I only recently started listening to the greatest podcast in the universe - Hollywood Handbook, of course (sorry, Matt Besser). The path was certainly a windy one: Comedy Bang! Bang! on Netflix led to CBB the podcast which led to countless others, including With Special Guest Lauren Lapkus. Which is where I first stumbled upon Hayes and Sean, and I instantly listened avidly.

 

Although I thank a new star in the sky each night for the existence of Hollywood Handbook, there is one drawback. All of the other podcasts, which I once held in such high esteem, seem... amateurish in comparison to Hollywood Handbook. I mean, don't get me wrong, I'm glad I'm not so naive anymore... but I shudder to think how threatening Hayes and Sean must be to the rest of Earwolf.

 

Think about it: is there any way that Hollywood Handbook isn't the most listened to podcast on Earwolf? Foul play, that's one way. And I know just who and howdunnit. Scott Anchorman.

 

Anchorman is big boss boy at Earwolf, but he's also a podcast host. Thus, the classic "Anchorman's Dilemma". Scott could throw Sean and Hayes off the air before everyone forgets Comedy Bang! Bang! Artist Scott would love that just too much. But businessboss Scott is too damn smart for that. Sean and Hayes are his ultimate cash cows. Anchorman has the engineers smudge the numbers to keep up appearances and keep Woolfcool from acquiring Earwolf.

 

Speak on that.

[Game of Scones 5812]

Five stars.

 

I couldn't be more pleased.

[Blink 1844]

and I instantly listened avidly.

 

Something about this part made stop reading, quote this section, and finish my baked beans before going to bed

[NickSpannaus 91]

 

Something about this part made stop reading, quote this section, and finish my baked beans before going to bed

 

Something about this quote made me stop reading, quote this quote, and finish baking my twice-baked beans before going to work (...just kidding, I'm unemployed).

[JacobCrites 4977]

The bigger problem is that Scott Anchorman thinks that just cuz he changed his last name to be the name of a funny movie that makes him a funny guy, which isn't true. I know, because I changed my last name to Cars 2 (that's what the C stands for) and it didn't make me any funnier or even a better driver.

[Rob Thomas Wiseau 436]

The bigger problem is that Scott Anchorman thinks that just cuz he changed his last name to be the name of a funny movie that makes him a funny guy, which isn't true. I know, because I changed my last name to Cars 2 (that's what the C stands for) and it didn't make me any funnier or even a better driver.

 

But are you any better at international espionage?

[gd345$%^l;dks;sd'd 38]

Hayes and Sean know the numbers. They know HH is the biggest gd thing to hit the podcasting world since Joe Rogan Monkey Space Talks. But if they came out and said "yeah, we know we're huge," they'd lose all indie cred. Pitchfork gave HH a 9.3 Best New Music, you think they'd give that to a juggernaut show with 20+ million listeners each week? Not a fat chance.