EPISODE 359 — TofuPeople

[Bernard_Shakey 3484]

Tofutti People

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fw0HYZH9i98

[Yasha 2]

I created an Earwolf username just to express how funny Horatio Sanz was in this episode. My wife and I have an ongoing discussion about what a "Dream CBB" lineup would look like, and I'd have a hard time leaving Horatio out at this point.

 

Also, it's got to be HuFu.

[AlbinLundholm 4020]

I get why people don't like Horatio's characters, but I hold the opinion he's one of the funniest people in the podcast community so fuck everyone that disagrees with that

[ScottSparr 1]

As a lifelong resident of Council Bluffs, Iowa, I am still shocked that this fair, small city was mentioned in this week's stellar episode.

[Costanza 7]

Was just inspired to make a Rupaul's Dragon Race poster.

http://www.freemix.com/559380d797cc24c7360d048f

[djsexyrandal 153]

I for one am SHOCKED that Horatio's character sensationalized several hollywood murders, which are typically approached with quiet reverence

[Brian_Eno 119]

As a lifelong resident of Council Bluffs, Iowa, I am still shocked that this fair, small city was mentioned in this week's stellar episode.

 

As another resident of Council Bluffs (97 out of 100 most dangerous cities) I spit out my shitty tofu burger I was making that turned into mush after cooking (yes I also happened to be eating tofu while listening to this) when Horatio mentioned this butthole-tit city (at least it's not Alabama)

 

This plus the Omaha reference on CBBTV made me super excited!

10 stars!

[FisterRoboto 7499]

Can't believe no one came up with tofuman, tofu + human

Agreed. I finally got to listen to this today and was screaming "tofuman!" on the way home waiting for them to come up with it.

 

Also, "dragonface?" C'mon, guys. Scaleface, at least.

[TobleroneMobster 0]

 

It also gets confusing because almost all of Horatio's characters have connections to O.J., however tangential. Davy "Chico" Davis is writing a book about the O.J. trial, which he recorded on multiple VHS tapes. Shelly Driftwood got a job at the Porsche-Maserati-Volkswagen dealership by telling the owner that his wife was having sex with an electrician who later died from electrocution installing a hot tub at O.J.’s house. And now, Shelly has also written multiple O.J. books. Joe France’s' Star Graves Tour goes by O.J.’s house in Brentwood once a year on the date O.J. was convicted for stealing his own memorabilia. Barzelona Marriott has a copy of the Inquirer from 1993 that predicted O.J. would have an accomplice when he would commit murder the following year. And so on . . .

 

...I just hope we get 'em both together on an episode one day.

[be easy on me 330]

Kumail getting so indignant during Would You Rather? was a real highlight for me.

 

I'd like to hear Horatio and Mike Hanford on the show together just to hear two guys who can't keep their character stories straight go even further off the path.

[golden arrow 135]

So just to review the deaths that Horatio's characters have caused, either directly or indirectly:

 

Shelly Driftwood: accidentally sliced Ron Goldman (whose reanimated corpse proceeded to then kill Nicole Simpson), invited the Wonderland Gang to their demise, drove into gym while high on vitamins, killing one of the fat people on the stairmasters

Jacob Brooks: bullied a heavy girl in high school who then committed suicide

Aaron Neville: ordered the strangulation of other prison inmates using radio wires

Victor Ramos: accidentally blew up a halfway house with 9 bums inside

Chico Davis: saw the gun of Dimebag Darrell's murderer prior to the shooting, but ran away instead of warning him

Uncle Stoney: caused the Black Hawk Down helicopter crash

Wesley Treehawk: rode his vespa into "pale" people territory and shot homeless people with a crossbow

Darryl Drummond (from the TV show): drove his monster truck over cars, unaware that people were still inside them

 

I'm probably missing some, so please add any if you know.

[JacobCrites 4977]

So just to review the deaths that Horatio's characters have caused, either directly or indirectly:

 

Shelly Driftwood: accidentally sliced Ron Goldman (whose reanimated corpse proceeded to then kill Nicole Simpson), invited the Wonderland Gang to their demise, drove into gym while high on vitamins, killing one of the fat people on the stairmasters

Jacob Brooks: bullied a heavy girl in high school who then committed suicide

Aaron Neville: ordered the strangulation of other prison inmates using radio wires

Victor Ramos: accidentally blew up a halfway house with 9 bums inside

Chico Davis: saw the gun of Dimebag Darrell's murderer prior to the shooting, but ran away instead of warning him

Uncle Stoney: caused the Black Hawk Down helicopter crash

Wesley Treehawk: rode his vespa into "pale" people territory and shot homeless people with a crossbow

Darryl Drummond (from the TV show): drove his monster truck over cars, unaware that people were still inside them

 

I'm probably missing some, so please add any if you know.

I almost cried laughing just reading these

[firstpitch 4]

I guess Ariana Grande needed some cardboard cut-outs of donuts.

http://www.avclub.com/article/police-are-investigating-ariana-grandes-seditious--222005

[misstep23 37]

Tofu + Turducken = Turdfucken

[Kickpuncher 5012]

Did anyone else watch The Leftovers this week and immediately think of Shelly Driftwood when Brett Butler showed up?

[StanSitwell 811]

Did anyone else watch The Leftovers this week and immediately think of Shelly Driftwood when Brett Butler showed up?

 

I didn't watch this week's yet, but now when I do I will immediately think of Shelly Driftwood. I can remember listening to this one in the car, cracking up at all the Butler references