Episode 97 — Julie Klausner, Our Close Friend

[Silvrwoman 4998]

Greetings Chartists

 

 

eat your heart out StanSitwell

 

agata ready your craigslist ad

 

This is exciting! I'm really hoping they are in character during the episode

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

I grew up in Staten Island, New York. It might not sound like it, but I did. For those of you who don't know, Staten Island is like Brooklyn and New Jersey had a baby. A baby that would grow up to be either a cop or a fireman.

And you know, Staten island get's a bad rap, but it's just like any other suburb. I mean sure it looks like this. And this. But what most people don't realize is that Staten Island also looks like this. And this.

And for me, every single summer since I was old enough to remember looked like this: The Great Kills Swim Club.

This is where I spent every waking moment of my summers. From 8:00am Swim practice till they threw us out at night. This is where I found friendship. This is where I tasted victory and defeat. Where I fell in love. And it's where I had the best job in the history of the world: I was a lifeguard.

Unlike beech lifeguards, who actually..... Guard lives. Then there are pool guards, who basically do this. The only reason I became a lifeguard is because of this idiot (Zach Pearlman) my best friend in the whole world, Frank Gones(?)

Frank said girls couldn't resist a man in uniform and said that we'd be quote "knee deep in snizz." But the only thing Frank was knee deep in, was the baby pool.

I don't know what it was, but Staten Island girls were never interested in me and Frank. They were always too busy fawning over this kind of guy.

That's Anthony Debono. I'm pretty sure that Anthony was sculpted right out of a suburban mom's sex fantasy. Anthony was joining the navy. If he could pass the written exam.... He could not.

As far as I could tell, being in the navy was like 90% push ups, and 10% saying 'god bless America'

That's Mary Ellen, her dad was a cop and she was basically raised a dude. And that guy, the guy rolling in an hour and a half late to work: that's Billy Thompson, better known as Scooch. Scooch did this year round. Summers at the swim club and winters at the YMCA. He was a lifeguard. That's all he was. He was Scooch.

We were a team. United together against this one asshole: Our manager; Chuck Cassina.

Chuck thought he ran the place, but no one runs summer. It was paradise, but hey, even Adam and Eve couldn't stand heaven forever. And right after labor day.........

 

I spent 20 minutes transcribing the entire opening narration of Staten Island Summer and I only got 5 likes. This forum sux dix. Jk.

[NoahTomaszewski 2768]

That's why I never spend more than 10 seconds on a post

[Silvrwoman 4998]

I spent 20 minutes transcribing the entire opening narration of Staten Island Summer and I only got 5 likes. This forum sux dix. Jk.

 

Well you didn't put any of our names in it, so what did you expect?

[SteveH 11126]

You guys are very funny and likable.

 

I hope you'll talk during the next hangout, Steve. You're interesting and sassy. And I appreciate that you aren't complaining about the Howl thing unlike some other people I know who happen to be very good friends of mine.

 

Soup, nice story. Very, very funny. I don't love the masturbation detail but, you know, I don't hate it either.

 

I'll bring some of my sass to the next hangout fo sho

[souprman 10477]

I never spend more than 10 seconds on a post

"Alex, I'll take 'things that needn't have been iterated' for $1000".

 

I prefer a fast burn approach sometimes. Take note Parties.

 

(that's a double burn folks)

[ABRAXAS 366]

Wait.... how do I know if people liked a post?

[ABRAXAS 366]

Never mind. I clicked on the non mobile version and now I see.

 

Glad I get a list of who liked every post I make.

I was just thinking the other day about how I don't have enough judgment from strangers in my life.

[SteveH 11126]

I like this guy.

[ABRAXAS 366]

please be gentle

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

Sorry Abraxton, but I don't like you.

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

Because Stev likes you, and we have "issues"

[ABRAXAS 366]

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[ABRAXAS 366]

That was totally on purpose.

 

Part of my aesthetic.

[souprman 10477]

that dog don't hunt son...

[ABRAXAS 366]

Look, I'm just a simple person who spends their days pumping gas. I don't have time to understand this html nerd shit.

[Game of Scones 5812]

Will both Howard and Kulap be hosting?

[hankkingsley 21]

13 pages is too much to read. Thank god for interns. They told me that Julie Klausner is a person and she is a wicked man?

[DoctorFrog 649]

 

Here's my Dad. Apparently he's double fisting drinks and squinting super hard, but this is the only picture I could get of him and I desperately crave this forums approval. With this picture, I have satisfied all of Joe's holy commandments.

 

PS. My Dad is a Good Dad.

[JaclynnAlexander 258]

2 posts 2 likes. enjoy that Fireworks. and welcome.

Yess, average at best

[JaclynnAlexander 258]

souprman keep it in your pants ffs

Haha!!!! Ah. I've been reading the forums for.. a year now(?! longer?) but have been too afraid to post...(I know! It's lame!) Forums always seem so permanent! And HH/RSS has such a close fan-base I felt awkward just jumping in and being like "I also really enjoyed all of that.."

[Blink 1844]

I never posted a pic of my dad.

 

 

Purple jacket. He used to manage a 50's cover band.

[JeffBurtMacklinMarra 6724]

This is for all of the new people on the forum. This is a starter guide to the roles that some key posters fulfill on the HH message board.

 

Greggy: The funny one

Valerie Bryant: The funny one

Joe McGurl: The funny one

Andy dick Cheney: the funny one

Robotam: the funny one

Tron_doe: The funny one

Chanson: the funny one

ElisaMuffinz: the funny one

Tarankillumbadguys: the funny one

Blink: the funny one

Skizelo: the funny one

Takehomejoke: the funny one

Souprman: the funny one

Silvrwoman: the funny one

SteveH: fuck SteveH

MikeBonetti: the funny one

Norm: the funny one

Honlads: The unforgettable one

Andrew: the funny one

Mean Detective: the funny one

Nohorseman: the funny one

Danny Boy Wizard: the funny one

Doctorfrog: the funny one

Houston: the funny one

Watchayakan: the funny one, eh?

 

Ask me about anyone I've forgotten.

[ABRAXAS 366]

I know I'm new, but everyone feel free to bust out the old Rolodex, erase your grandpa's number and add:

 

ABRAXAS: Sweetheart of the Rodeo Memorial Orchestra and Tra-La-La Band

 

References!

[watchayakan 1021]

Greetings Chartists

 

 

eat your heart out StanSitwell

 

agata ready your craigslist ad

This is why I don't listen to other podcasts. They'll take notice and eventually have S+H on so I try them out.