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TheLizardKing89

3000 Miles to Graceland (2001)

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I just watched this and wow, is it ridiculous. From the robbery of a casino cash room that has no guards to Kevin Costner's character, an Elvis obsessed psycho who kills everyone he meets, to Jon Lovitz's role as a money launderer who has zero security despite doing a deal with over $5 million in cash, this movie is craptastic.

EDIT: Forgot that Kevin Pollak is in this. He could be the guest and give an insider's view on this movie.

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A movie horrible on a MASSIVE scale, with the director, writer and stars Kevin Costner, Kurt Russell, Courtney Cox (and that little annoying boy playing her son) firing on all the wrong levels. Please help solve the enigma that is how did this movie get made?

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The worst movie of all time in my opinion. It contains the worst action scene of all time (shootout climax), the worst death of all time Spoiler Alert! (it's Kevin Costner), the worst story of all time. It's everything. Worst characters, acting - I HAVE TO KNOW HOW THIS GOT MADE! please.

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I can guess how the idea got started: Hollywood was still in love with the idea of Tarantino knockoffs, and this one had a pretty great premise. Come on, how awesome would a movie that was actually about criminals trying to rob a casino disguised as Elvis impersonators be? (Too bad that's done in, what, the first thirty minutes? If that?)

 

I can tell you a little bit about how it got to be such a disaster, though: Apparently, Kurt Russell and Kevin Costner had differing ideas on how the movie should play; Costner wanted an action-oriented movie, while Russell wanted a comedy-oriented romantic angle. Warner Bros. decided to let them both have the movie edited according to their wishes, and screened both for test audiences. They chose Russell's.

 

To quote Ed Harris of the Agony Booth, "Think about that, folks. Somewhere in the vaults of Warner Brothers, there exists a cut of 3000 Miles to Graceland that they didn't use because it was worse than what was released."

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Yeah, this one is pretty bad, and REALLY ugly. The twist, as stupid as it is, actually has potential for a fun tongue-in-cheek action movie, but this movie is such an unpleasant mess that it feels like a splattery fart all over the film.

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Wow, the Russell version was chosen and it was still that violent? I can only imagine the Costner version having him rape Courntey Cox on the body of her son that he just killed. And let's not forget about the CGI scorpion fight that starts the movie.

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this is softcore porn music

 

 

I'd hate to see your porn collection then.. sorry, I had to point that out hehe.

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I spent 17 years being generally aware that this film existed, and I was content to live my life that way. Take a look at the poster. It looks like a generic trash movie with an inexplicably good leading duo and a hokey premise. You can probably skip it, right? My friends, you cannot. This was the colossal mistake I had made.

 

This movie is one of the best-worst films I have ever seen. It is impossible to overstate just how completely insane it is. It took me four hours to watch this two-hour film because I would constantly rewind to the previous scene to laugh uncontrollably or stare in wonderment at how the director could make, literally, all the wrong decisions. (There's a reason he never made another big budget film again.) This movie is a puzzle-box of madness. You will question why there is a CG scorpion fight in the opening credits. You will wonder if Kevin Costner and Kurt Russell are really the illegitimate children of Elvis. You will be puzzled at why Howie Long got billing above Thomas Haden Church. You will question how God and this movie could both exist simultaneously. I have no answers for you. I am only here to spread the gospel of 3000 Miles to Graceland.

 

Quite frankly I'm surprised that HDTGM hasn't already done this movie. I can only assume they simply aren't aware of it, or are but haven't seen it yet. I am not being facetious when I say that they should do a two-parter on this film. There really is an abundance of material to rip into, and it would be an incredible disservice if they glossed over any of it. My friends - learn from my mistakes. Don't sleep on this film. It's on Netflix and you can stream it this very moment. Be forewarned; you will be handling weapons-grade bad cinema.

 

I leave you with this to whet your appetite:

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=t5DP-RC1NFg

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Bump. I cannot recommend this movie enough. In high school, I thought it was so cool that I grew out legit Elvis sideburns. 

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Also, to further help promote this film it was being filmed around the time that David Arquette won the WCW World Heavyweight Championship, which meant there were a few interviews and promo packages from the set of this film where Arquette was pumping up the fact he would be defending the title at an upcoming PPV and would walk around the set talking to Cox or Russell while carrying the belt. Shockingly their acting was better in these terrible promos was better than this film. I will say that while nearly everything about this movie is terrible, Costner and Russell are legitimately trying to make this work, and are actually kinda fun to watch, which lends credence to the fact that they wanted different routes for the movie as they are complete polar opposites with how they approach what's happening in the film.

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