Episode 144 - Stealth

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

Hi everyone -

 

I'm very excited to finally start posting here - I have been listening to the show for over two years from the beginning, and finally got to the end of my queue last week with the 'Stealth' miniepisode. This meant I could finally start participating by watching the film in between mini and regular episode, and actually follow along with the commentary. A momentous day for me.

 

Anyway, I'm very glad to be here, and to see so many familiar names that I know from the podcast Corrections and Omissions section.

 

I'm slightly bummed that my first proper episode was a movie this bad, but a few things I noticed:

 

- This movie was filmed (at least in part) in Australia, which meant that I got to go Aussie-spotting. I thought it was hilarious that North Korea was so prolifically populated with Eucalyptus trees, and the colour of the dirt and leaves made it very clear that they were in the Blue Mountains just west of Sydney. Needless to say, trees like that don't grow in North Korea. In the first scene where we meet Keith Orbit (if this were Wheel of Fortune, he's just a few letter-spins away from being Keith Urban), his attractive girlfriend/secretary/whatever comes in with a broad Fair Dunkum Aussie accent - that's Megan Gale, a Perth model who played The Valkyrie (the one who is set up as naked 'bait' when Furiosa and Max arrive in the Rig) in 'Mad Max: Fury Road'. Seeing Megan and noticing that Keith was played by Australian actor Richard Roxburgh, I figured 'oh, okay, this inventor will be Australian too', but no, Keith speaks in a scene-chewing American accent, where his lazy vowels betray his origin at every turn. Later on, a news report delivering news on the Attack on Rangoon comes from an Australian Channel 7 newsdesk - with the anchor speaking in her broad Australian accent. And finally, the Evil Doctor from the Black Ops who tries to murder Josh Lucas is played by John Waters, a great Australian actor and fixture from the local movies and television of my childhood. Again, putting on an American accent (although that one made more sense). I'm sure there's more hints to the filming location of this thing throughout, although apparently the residents of the Blue Mountains weren't particularly happy about the presence of the film due to the noise in the protected bushland and the risk the filming ran to the 'Giant Dragonflies' of the area (source).

 

- Did anyone else notice the amazing 'Terminator 2' link, almost certainly accidental? Joe Morton appears as the Naval Captain who for some reason lets Sam Shepard have some alone time so that he can do his voicemail suicide. Joe Morton, of course, played Miles Dyson, the engineer who, in 'Terminator 2', profited from finding the half-destroyed computer chip from the Terminator, boosting Cyberdyne Industries, and eventually prompting Judgement Day. In that movie Miles says that even though the chip was damaged, he was able to replicate the advanced technology, thus leading to Arnie tracking it down to destroy it. Even though they've made so many sequels since, at the time I was touched with the idea that destroying the two remaining chips would avert Judgement Day. Fast forward to the post-credits scene from 'Stealth', where we pan interminably across the wasteland of "North Korea," looking at the for some reason abandoned debris from the firefight from the previous week (if it's after Jamie Foxx's funeral, and all the fires are out, then it's some time later - so where are all the murdered North Korean soldiers and why has no one come to clean this all up?). As we find EDI's OS, suddenly the red light comes on, signalling that EDI is alive and might be salvageable - but this time, rather than by Cyberdyne Industries, by the Glorious Leader himself! Stealth 2: North Korea's got EDI, and Judgement Day looms...

 

So glad to finally get a chance to join the forums. I can even forgive all of the shade thrown at the Phantom film a couple of weeks ago - because while I am a lifelong Phantom comic reader, that movie was pretty damn bad.

 

Cheers!

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

Also: when considering a username to register here, I paused for a long time to consider 'Pardon my C Cup', a horrible line delivered seriously by Jessica Biel that almost trumps 'I have to pee pee', but then i decided not to be tied to 'Stealth' indefinitely.

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

As I mentioned in the minisode thread, I didn't watch this movie. I'm in a fight with the actors from "7th Heaven" (fuck that show!) so I can't deal with Jessica Biel. Although she was dating Chris Evans at the time this was done and now she's married to JT. So she's doing just fine without my love and support.

 

I was wondering about the Jamie Foxx death. Were they trying for something emotional like Goose's death in "Top Gun?" Or do we think Jamie Foxx was just like "I'm too famous now, I'm leaving"?

 

I also have questions about Wenworth Miller's voice. Because I've seen him on "Buffy" and "Prison Break" and I know he speaks like a

. But sometimes he does weird voices. Like last season on "Legends of Tomorrow" he did something weird with a drawl that bugged me to no end.

 

I guess my question is just WHY, WENTWORTH MILLER, WHY?

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

 

I was wondering about the Jamie Foxx death. Were they trying for something emotional like Goose's death in "Top Gun?" Or do we think Jamie Foxx was just like "I'm too famous now, I'm leaving"?

 

 

Oh, I think the 'Top Gun' link is absolutely correct - the opening scenes of aircraft carrier landings was accompanied with a soundtrack that I was completely certain was about to break into the big Top Gun theme at any moment. The slow-motion crash of Jamie's plane and the close-up of his face as he made contact with the mountain was geared towards emotion but unlike with Goose, we get no ejector seat or ocean landing (or grieving Meg Ryan!) to make the connection. I think Jamie's death was an attempt to up the stakes on EDI but, like Josh Lucas and Jessica Biel, we just wind up saying 'oh well' and then forgetting he was ever in the movie. And then, as mentioned on the episode, they bail from his funeral early.

[ChunkStyle 1160]

 

I was wondering about the Jamie Foxx death. Were they trying for something emotional like Goose's death in "Top Gun?" Or do we think Jamie Foxx was just like "I'm too famous now, I'm leaving"?

 

Oh, I think the 'Top Gun' link is absolutely correct - the opening scenes of aircraft carrier landings was accompanied with a soundtrack that I was completely certain was about to break into the big Top Gun theme at any moment. The slow-motion crash of Jamie's plane and the close-up of his face as he made contact with the mountain was geared towards emotion but unlike with Goose, we get no ejector seat or ocean landing (or grieving Meg Ryan!) to make the connection. I think Jamie's death was an attempt to up the stakes on EDI but, like Josh Lucas and Jessica Biel, we just wind up saying 'oh well' and then forgetting he was ever in the movie. And then, as mentioned on the episode, they bail from his funeral early.

 

I went the exact opposite way with it. I imagined Jamie Foxx telling them "You have got me for 7 days get what you can get and I'm out of here."

[Elektra Boogaloo 3371]

PS You should all watch the "Go Fish" episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer--which is not a good episode; it's very much filler--just to hear Wentworth Miller deliver the immortal line, "Ugh, dude, what is that foulness?" and then turn into a fish.

[Xandar1977 421]

So this made Rob Cohen stop directing big budget movies? I guess he forgot that three years later he did The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor for $145,000,000.

[Cameron H. 23786]

So this made Rob Cohen stop directing big budget movies? I guess he forgot that three years later he did The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor for $145,000,000.

 

So did the rest of the world.

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

I'm glad to see the great Cameron H. shares my enthusiasm for Jessica Biel's C Cups. Uh..

[pscudese 701]

I was throughly confused by some of the dialogue in this movie.

 

I get that the screenwriters were trying to make the banter as real as possible (especially since the Navy wanted to be seen in a good light and potentially offered some ideas of what to say in certain instances,) but this movie is for the mass public and it just felt superfluous.

 

Here are some of my favorite lines:

 

 

Lt. Cummings - "Fuel: Catalyzed A1 methane. Exoskeleton: Metal ceramic composite. Aeroelastic wings. Pulse detonation engine with twin hybrid scramjet turbos. EDI's sensors can pick out a face five miles away."

 

EDI - "Diving dead vertical at 2070 knots will increase truncheon velocity."

 

Kara - "Talon Two to Operator. I'm getting a contradictory population-density read on the valley. Sensor detects mammals warming. Maybe a thousand medium weights. Those could be people. Repeat: Ground Intel may be incorrect. Request to acknowledge Dirty Mission Status and exercise attack abort authority. National Command Authority's duly impressed."

 

 

I am jealous that June is able to focus on more important things, like keeping a baby alive, rather then dealing with this insanity.

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

CORRECTION: After your call for suggestions for a 1985 movie to do, I started to look for some good ones, but as I looked at Wikipedia, realized you'd already done a 1985: Gymkata in ep. 70, a live episode with Michael Showalter. Was it a different year that you guys haven't covered, or does this mean that you guys have knocked out more than a 1/4 of the 20th century?

 

 

small correction ... paul got the movie years abit mixed up.

 

this was the first 2005 movie covered so the last year, between 1980 - 2016, without a HDTGM movie is 1981. (there are 3 movies before 1980 but they are spaced out all the way back to 1969)

 

https://docs.google....dit?usp=sharing

 

twitter's been pointing this out aswell

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

So did the rest of the world.

 

[pscudese 701]

Not sure if anyone else caught this, but during the one of the missions, it appears that the production team tried to get away with false perspective and use tiny models for the missile launching vehicles. Guess we can all agree that none of the $145 million dollar budget was put aside for proper rentals.

 

 

 

[CPiz 232]

 

 

 

 

twitter's been pointing this out aswell

 

Okay. Then if 1981's the missing year: How about they do Caveman, starring Ringo Starr. I hear that one's a mess!

[Cameron H. 23786]

First of all, a big forum welcome to all the new posters!

 

I'm sure I will have some official C&O's to post later, I just wanted to dig a little deeper into some of the things the gang did touch upon.

 

In regard to the the, "I gotta go pee pee line" I didn't really have a problem with it. Sure, it's kind of weird, but we don't know this woman. Maybe she's just a goofball. The bigger problem I had was right after she says it, Foxx's character says, "That's nasty." I'm sorry, why exactly is the idea that a woman may need to pee "nasty?" If Lucas had stood up and said he needed to "take a leak/piss" no one would have batted an eye--much less, proclaim to everyone within earshot how gross he is.

 

These sorts of lines were a major hurdle for me through out this movie. This entire movie felt like the equivalent of, "I'm not sexist/racist, but..." It's trying to put on this veneer of inclusion, but just comes off completely tone deaf. This movie's idea of showing us that Biel's character is "cool" is by showing us that she's "just one of the guys" (but not really). In other words, a woman can't be equal to a man unless we raise her to the level of "man." And, unfortunately, this movie's definition of what it is to be a man is drenched in ten gallons of Axe Body Spray, frosted tips, and mile after mile of puka shell necklaces. This idea of, "she's not cool unless she's a dude" is why she has to say lines like, "Let's move it ladies!" to Lucas and Foxx. I mean, I get this isn't the first movie to have a female character a "lady" in the pejorative sense, but it really does give you an insight into the adolescent mind of the infected urethra sore who wrote it.

 

And, of course, in the end, this "bro-ing" up of Biel's character is all moot anyway. The movie can never truly let go of the fact she has a fully functioning vagina. As a woman, and therefore a nurturing mother figure, she has to be the character most concerned about casualties; she has to be the one rescued behind enemy lines. Sure, they tried to make her look cool, but in the end, all they really did was give Princess Peach a bazooka--fight all she wants, she's still not getting out of Koopa's castle without a little help from Mario Mario.

 

Something else they brought up was when Lucas' character defies orders and does the maneuver that had a 75% chance of him blacking out, the movie kind of lets him off the hook because he's so "kewl," but seriously, that was a totally reckless thing to do and he should have been 100% court-martialed for it. The issue isn't just that he disobeyed orders, had he blacked out at the wrong time, he could have potentially crashed his billion dollar, state-of-the-art, Stealth fighter into the middle of Rangoon. Which would not only have been a major, and embarrassing, international disaster, and it would have probably resulted in even more casualties then if they had just gone with their original plan. In no way does Lucas deserve a pass for this.

 

Finally, I'm so glad Charlie brought up the "Welcome to Alaska" line. Okay. I get it. It's an action movie. Whether dumb or cool, you simply can't just blow something up without having something pithy to say, but in context, "Welcome to Alaska" makes absolutely no sense. Seriously, what the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Were his foster parents from Alaska? Until a couple of hours ago, he didn't even know that place existed. He's on their turf. They're the one's from Alaska. Shouldn't that be their line? Were does he get off welcoming them to their own place?

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

watching stealth i kept going ... thats in this movie .. and thats in this ... here's a list of some of them

 

- Top Gun

- Behind Enemy Lines

- Flight of the Navigator

- Hots Shots (1 & 2) .. i know thats a mickey take of the likes of top gun but some of this just made me laugh abit

- Team America

- And of course

 

[firsttimecallerlongtimelistenr 3590]

 

Okay. Then if 1981's the missing year: How about they do Caveman, starring Ringo Starr. I hear that one's a mess!

 

thats the one ive been saving for 1981 .. i dont know though .. is it a bit too crazy?. would be handy though, it's on youtube.

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

 

- And of course

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A2AW88w02fQ

 

Dammit, now I have Yvan Eht Nioj in my head. When that gets in it stays for days.

[Cakebug Tranch 6873]

First of all, a big forum welcome to all the new posters!

 

Thank you! So glad to be here! (Let me know if I'm posting too much. I'll settle, I promise).

 

These sorts of lines were a major hurdle for me through out this movie. This entire movie felt like the equivalent of, "I'm not sexist/racist, but..." It's trying to put on this veneer of inclusion, but just comes off completely tone deaf. This movie's idea of showing us that Biel's character is "cool" is by showing us that she's "just one of the guys" (but not really). In other words, a woman can't be equal to a man unless we raise her to the level of "man." And, unfortunately, this movie's definition of what it is to be a man is drenched in ten gallons of Axe Body Spray, frosted tips, and mile after mile of puka shell necklaces. This idea of, "she's not cool unless she's a dude" is why she has to say lines like, "Let's move it ladies!" to Lucas and Foxx. I mean, I get this isn't the first movie to have a female character a "lady" in the pejorative sense, but it really does give you an insight into the adolescent mind of the infected urethra sore who wrote it.

 

And, of course, in the end, this "bro-ing" up of Biel's character is all moot anyway. The movie can never truly let go of the fact she has a fully functioning vagina. As a woman, and therefore a nurturing mother figure, she has to be the character most concerned about casualties; she has to be the one rescued behind enemy lines. Sure, they tried to make her look cool, but in the end, all they really did was give Princess Peach a bazooka--fight all she wants, she's still not getting out of Koopa's castle without a little help from Mario Mario.

 

I just went back and watched the 'homework' scene for the three, with specific interest in what the set dressers have done to personalise each of their 'dorm rooms' (as described on the ep). It's pretty hilarious seeing what each character is pigeonholed as: first, we see Josh Lucas, with a fairly spartan room but with a handful of indistinct photos of random football games up, emphasising that he's a man's man. Okay. Cool. Then we go see Jessica Biel: she sits on a yoga ball (or a Fitness Orb, as Dwight Schrute calls it) and is surrounded by flowers, photos of children, and hand-drawn pictures (including one of a plane that says 'my aunt'). Then, we go to Jamie Foxx's room, where the less said about his situation the better - he dances around in suspiciously Ray Charles-invoking sunglasses, surrounded by hundreds of photos of beautiful young women. So, we have the three archetypes: the man's man sportsman; the sensitive spinster aunt; the irrepressible ladykiller. THEN, when Josh goes to visit Jessica, she (for some reason) is the only one who has laundry hanging in her room (including a slip, which I guess she was wearing in the bar scene under her dress whites?), meaning that not only is the 'one of the boys' angel undermined by the excellent points raised above, but she cares about 'dumb things' like laundry and family. Which somehow makes her weak? I guess? Why do we have to see the scene about Josh Lucas's foster mother while Jessica Biel's gitch hangs artfully around the room? And then she very conspicuously makes reference to her 'c cup' for no real reason.

 

Finally, I'm so glad Charlie brought up the "Welcome to Alaska" line. Okay. I get it. It's an action movie. Whether dumb or cool, you simply can't just blow something up without having something pithy to say, but in context, "Welcome to Alaska" makes absolutely no sense. Seriously, what the fuck is that even supposed to mean? Were his foster parents from Alaska? Until a couple of hours ago, he didn't even know that place existed. He's on their turf. They're the one's from Alaska. Shouldn't that be their line? Were does he get off welcoming them to their own place?

 

I agree - when i first heard this I figured it was supposed to be along the lines of 'you just barely escaped a hostile environment in Russia where you thought you were toast, but now you're back on American soil, so you're safe', but it just comes across as a heavy-handed reminder to the audience about where we are. A 'welcome back to America' or 'welcome home' line might have done the same job.

[JustinWilliamRettke 12]

A lot of the faulty/evil robot jet plot is lifted right out of 1983's long forgotten "Deal of the Century" starring Chevy Chase, Sigourney Weaver, and Gregory Hines. It was directed by William Friedkin. I'm pretty sure that water causes the robot jet to go haywire in DotC and Gregory Hines has to take it down in a dog fight.

 

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0085412/?ref_=nv_sr_1

 

Side note: There is an amazing road rage scene in DotC. Gregory Hines pulls a flame thrower out of his car and torches the other car.

[Cam Bert 8145]

I was wondering about the Jamie Foxx death. Were they trying for something emotional like Goose's death in "Top Gun?" Or do we think Jamie Foxx was just like "I'm too famous now, I'm leaving"?

Well I think it's most likely the Top Gun scenario because even though he did Ray and won the Oscar this film was released summer of that year. Chances are he'd shot it or been shooting it while the whole Oscar thing was going on. Although after the win he apparently got quiet a big head and forced a lot of changes to be done to Miami Vice.

[H.P.Hovercraft 119]

According to IMDB, "people who liked Stealth also liked..."

S.W.A.T.

Paycheck

The Core

Next

and 2006's Poseidon

 

So basically lunatics

[Johnny_Tubesocks 0]

Hey Paul, June, Jason and other forum readers

 

Quick question: am I the only one that remembers when this movie came out it was Jamie Foxx's follow up role after getting and Oscar for Ray and what a bummer that was?

 

One other thing, I'm pretty sure this plot is beat for beat the same as the totally rad 90's Anime "Macross Plus." Wherein two test pilots with a complicated history are competing in proving their space planes are better for the military only to have a third AI controlled plane in similar tests go rogue and they have to save the day/earth by taking it and its AI out.

 

Anyone else remember that? Sorry if I missed someone else posting the same thing.

 

Love the show Paul, et al

 

-Johnny

[Cam Bert 8145]

In regard to the the, "I gotta go pee pee line" I didn't really have a problem with it. Sure, it's kind of weird, but we don't know this woman. Maybe she's just a goofball. The bigger problem I had was right after she says it, Foxx's character says, "That's nasty." I'm sorry, why exactly is the idea that a woman may need to pee "nasty?" If Lucas had stood up and said he needed to "take a leak/piss" no one would have batted an eye--much less, proclaim to everyone within earshot how gross he is.

 

These sorts of lines were a major hurdle for me through out this movie. This entire movie felt like the equivalent of, "I'm not sexist/racist, but..." It's trying to put on this veneer of inclusion, but just comes off completely tone deaf. This movie's idea of showing us that Biel's character is "cool" is by showing us that she's "just one of the guys" (but not really). In other words, a woman can't be equal to a man unless we raise her to the level of "man." And, unfortunately, this movie's definition of what it is to be a man is drenched in ten gallons of Axe Body Spray, frosted tips, and mile after mile of puka shell necklaces. This idea of, "she's not cool unless she's a dude" is why she has to say lines like, "Let's move it ladies!" to Lucas and Foxx. I mean, I get this isn't the first movie to have a female character a "lady" in the pejorative sense, but it really does give you an insight into the adolescent mind of the infected urethra sore who wrote it.

 

And, of course, in the end, this "bro-ing" up of Biel's character is all moot anyway. The movie can never truly let go of the fact she has a fully functioning vagina. As a woman, and therefore a nurturing mother figure, she has to be the character most concerned about casualties; she has to be the one rescued behind enemy lines. Sure, they tried to make her look cool, but in the end, all they really did was give Princess Peach a bazooka--fight all she wants, she's still not getting out of Koopa's castle without a little help from Mario Mario.

 

When the credits started the second one that popped up was for the writer W.D. Richter. When I saw that something clicked in my mind like "I know that name." When I looked him up I saw the reason I recognized it. He's the director of Buckaroo Banzai! He also wrote the script that was adapted into Big Trouble in Little China. Then I saw the rest of his credits or should I say lack of. The last thing he wrote was ten years before Stealth. The bulk of his writing came from the 70s and 80s. I think this could explain some of the writing and some of the choices made about Jessica Biel's character. It probably was this seventy year old guy's idea of writing a strong cool female character and just maybe he's a bit behind the times or stuck in an old way of thinking and writing.

 

Also one scene which relates to this I found very odd was in Thailand after Jessica Biel and the Thai girl leave to make pee pee, Jamie Foxx and Josh Lucas talk about the will they won't they between Lucas and Biel. Foxx talks about how Biel's character "went to all the right schools and had the right background" for a woman to make it to the top in the navy and that they were setting her up to be a poster girl. However, if she gave into her feelings for Josh Lucas and he gave into his feelings for her it would ruin all that. Is this because of fraternization rules? They are both equal rank and both are willing and compliant. How is that a breech of those rules? Then after saying that Lucas could mess it all up Foxx says "So that's why I hope your love is powerful" which seems to undercut the reasons for messing things up for her as a breech of navy rules. Rather it seems to be the implication that if it didn't work about between them she'd be so jilted that she'd throwaway her career or be unable to focus. Or somehow being in a relationship would make her less of a role model or pilot. You could argue that she seems to have been crushing on Lucas the entire time and it hadn't effected her abilities at all. I dunno, something about that scene bothered me.

[Cameron H. 23786]

The movie begins with our intrepid trio flying at high velocity through a narrow canyon. Bullets and rockets whiz through the air as each of our heroes perform ball shrivelling barrel rolls. An explosion rocks a mountain top in a 50 ft tall fireball--the resulting conflagration errupts like the very expression of Hell's unholy wrath. Fortunately, Josh Lucas manages to avoid the disaster by the skin of his dick. That was a close one.

 

He approaches his target. He takes aim. He fires!

 

Victory!

 

His shot is as true as if shot from the divine bow of Apollo himself. The cave of hostile mannequins has been obliterated. Hurray! The final test of the Talon stealth fighter is a success! They have completed their final combat exercise.

 

My, that was really exciting. What a way to start a movie. Um, but question though: why were they firing upon their elite squad of fighter pilots in their top secret, presumably expensive war planes with live ammunition? I understand they have to be put their paces, but this just seems incredibly ill-advised.