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Ofcoursemyhorse

Biker Boyz (2003)

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With the rampant success of the Fast and the Furious franchise, I thought it might be nice to take a look back at some of the movies that spawned in its wake and didnt fare quite as well.

 

Theres so much wrong with this movie its hard to know where to start. I guess Laurence Fishbourne's wardrobe is a good jumping off point, because there are various points in the movie where I had to really ask myself if the costume designer was intentionally trying to make him look like Walker, Texas Ranger.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fl1MNRSkKhc

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The only thing I remember from this movie is the REALLY weird Metallica/Ja Rule collaboration

 

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Is that song in the movie? Because that is God awful.

 

I think it is, I just remember it from the soundtrack.

 

It came at a time when James Hetfield was in rehab, so he had no input on it. So Metallica gave Ja Rule and Swizz Beats some trash riffs that they weren't gonna use, and then Kirk, Lars and Bob Rock added a couple of backing vocals and a quick solo.

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All I remember about this movie was that it was unshockingly revealed that Laurence Fishburne was the main character's actual dad. Then in their final race when the son gets "in the zone" as he has been trying to do all movie he is STILL going to lose to Fishburne, until Fishburne lets up on the throttle and lets his kid beat him, without the kid knowing, so that now lesson at all is learned.

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All I remember about this movie was that it was unshockingly revealed that Laurence Fishburne was the main character's actual dad. Then in their final race when the son gets "in the zone" as he has been trying to do all movie he is STILL going to lose to Fishburne, until Fishburne lets up on the throttle and lets his kid beat him, without the kid knowing, so that now lesson at all is learned.

 

 

Not only does he not learn any lesson, but he actually acts cocky towards his dad afterwards. You'd think he be able to spot his father noticeably slowing down right before the finish line.

 

Its also infuriating because the mother, who works in the E.R. is constantly trying to get her son to stop racing because of how potentially deadly it is. The ending also comes after a scene at a racetrack that apparently is going to get shutdown because of all the accidents occuring during legal races. The entire movie sets up that this guy is going to learn his lesson about street racing, only for the ending to say "fuck you" and do the exact opposite.

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that reminded me of a crazier movie that is way worst then biker boyz, the movie Torque now that would make a great episode the ending is boinkers

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I think they would make for a solid pair of live shows. Because honestly Torque is basically Fast and the Furious after they figured out that making serious movies out of this franchise was nonsensical at best. I think you could re-release Torque as a Fast and the Furious spin-off and no one would be able to tell the difference.

 

Biker Boyz to me stands out a little more just because of how serious it tries to be while at the same being laughably terrible.

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