The Last Song

[Brady 0]

Unsurprisingly Miley Cyrus can't handle a dramatic role...or any role for that matter. The film actually culminates with Miley's ex-boyfriend walking into her dad's funeral in the middle of the ceremony just as a light shines in through a stained-glass window her dad had made and she says, "Hi Daddy." HOLY FUCK this is a bad movie. It's got a twenty percent on rotten tomatoes and I was actually an extra in this movie look for me in the background of the random volleyball tournament montage that got thrown in the middle of another montage and right after some shit about sea turtles. Also for some reasons there's fireballs.

[inactiveuser501 168]

How has Nicholas Sparks not been covered yet? A Walk to Remember? Nights in Rodanthe? The Lucky One?

 

Anyway, this is a wonderful place to start, and you don't even have to rail on Miley's performance for 1 hour. The love interests are connected through Sea Turtles eggs, we are supposed to believe that Miley is not only goth, but her family is poor despite owning a beachfront home? There is a subplot involving a girl named Blaze who talks to Miley for no reason, and then is angry at her for being hit on by her abusive boyfriend. Liam Hemsworth is charmed by Miley at all times despite the fact that it is apparent that she hates him, Liam Hemsworth's mom in this is pure insanity, and the entire premise is built on coincidence (Liam Hemsworth happens to be at the Coffee shop Miley is in and happens to be the guy the Aquarium sends over to help Miley with her Sea Eggs, and Blaze happens to be a caterer at the Wedding Miley is at)

 

But the biggest screw-over is Greg Kinnear. He delivers his dialogue as if he is going to win an Academy Award for his performance her, and to see Miley Cyrus give glib, passive responses is just amazing. And to have critics defend her by saying that this role meant for her to be a bratty teenage girl is even more wonderful. Unravel this movie now!

[seanotron 2307]

If we're going to do a Nicholas Sparks movie, I feel like we need to do Safe Haven first. Because, ya know, GHOSTS!

[inactiveuser501 168]

aaand with that I'm now planning to see Safe Haven soon.

 

YOU ARE TEARING ME APART SPARKS.

[sillstaw 414]

I actually started to ask my sister (who loves Nicolas Sparks) about the book "Safe Haven," but stopped when she got confused by my mentioning ghosts.

 

And I'd wholeheartedly vote for anything involving Nicolas Sparks (go look up the interview where he talks down about Pulitzer prize winner Cormac McCarthy and claims he's on the same level as Hemingway), but I especially want to see "The Lucky One" done. A movie about a soldier who finds a picture of a woman in the middle of a battlefield, then returns home and tracks her down, without mentioning why he's there? Yeah, that's totally romantic and not at all creepy and disturbing.

[MeganPreece 0]

If you do one Sparks movie you have basically covered all of them!

[seanotron 2307]

If you do one Sparks movie you have basically covered all of them!

 

This is a fair point.

[inactiveuser501 168]

Yes, I'm bumping this to start a Miley fight with LOL. Don't judge me, judge the Sea Turtles in this movie.