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Elektra Boogaloo

Mortal Engines (2018)

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I hear Jason thinks this is a big bag of no thanks and it is now rotten on RT and apparently $100 mil in the hole. 

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I was interested in seeing this as the books are pretty well regarded, and it's a somewhat interesting premise, but boy does this seem like another in an increasingly long line of YA film adaptations that missed the soul of piece being adapted. Yet I'm a glutton for punishment and I'm sure I can get a theater to myself if I see this before it's out of theaters in a week or two. Also, the estimated loss for this has now jumped to $150 million.

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Please for the love of God consider this movie. I cannot understand how a studio spent so much on a YA series that no one has heard of, and decided a 2+ hour runtime made sense with the absolute dumpster fire this movie is. I still have an hour+ left on this shit storm, and all I could think of was 'holy fucking shit balls what I would give to hear Paul, June and the Zuke RIP this piece of garbage a gaping new B hole. BTDubs, give me that baby!

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Oh shit, this is the straight up death star of moving cities...this feels like a scifi fantasy soap opera full of garbage 

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'How will I know'

'You'll know, I'm not subtle'

This whole goddamned movie is not subtle, of course you wont be you house party fade biotch 

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Idealistic young protagonist leaves to join a resistance, hooks up with cocky criminal with a ship, must drop a bomb into the vulnerable opening in the bad guy's base before it can fire its super laser, but not before a "I am your father" speech with the villain.

 

The movie world has giant cities on treads going around "eating" smaller tracked cities because fuel and resources and something. This is called “municipal darwinism" in the movie.

I'm sure that was meant to be some kind of profound social commentary. The whole thing is just a mess.

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I picked this up at the library and was surprised I'd never heard of it. Especially since the cover said "written and produced by visionary Peter Jackson" but that should have been my warning

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