Bird Box (2018)

[Colfax McLiverneck 352]

I do movie reviews on Facebook, and here's mine for "Bird Box":

I saw Bird Box on Netflix, and it is a certified pile of fetid, steaming excrement. Here’s the plot: ghost aliens make people suicidal but only if you look at them. And in fact, this movie almost made me suicidal because I watched it. 98% of the movie consists of Sandra Bullock yelling at kids under a blanket in a boat. The other 2% is John Malkovich acting in a way that says “I will vomit myself to sleep tonight for agreeing to do this piece of garbage, but I’m buying a new house in Andorra with the paycheck, so screw you idiots.” The surprise ending of this gangrenous carbuncle of film shame is ludicrously predictable, and though it aspires to the majesty of The Sixth Sense, it merely grasps for mediocrity and fails whimperingly. The only movie it’s even comparable to is the interesting 2000 film “Pitch Black”—yeah, it’s just like that, but terrible in every way. This globby smear of reprehensible worthlessness is perfect for never watching ever. Please pass this up. Or watch it and get ready for its inevitable appearance on the “How Did This Get Made” podcast.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

This movie was clearly trying to be A Quiet Place. What it ends up being is a hybrid of that movie and The Happening. 

[RyanSz 3140]

The author wrote the rough draft of the book unfortunately the same year The Happening came out and was upset of the similar premise, feeling it would be seen as a copy, so it came out a few years later after some polishing, but the gist of it was written well before A Quiet Place. It seems like Netflix released it solely in an attempt to not come off as a copy since it's literally months apart, so it is just an unfortunate coincidence that similar premise films were filmed around the same time, sort of like when Dredd and The Raid were released around the same time. I feel it would have been worse for them to release it later next year as it would clearly look like an attempt at copying.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

That makes a bit more sense. It also reminds me of the Phone Booth/Liberty Stands Still situation. I do think Krasinski was infinitely more successful in his take on the premise though. 

[RyanSz 3140]

For sure. I did like this movie and what it was doing, and felt that it handled the idea of going through the world blind wasn't done wily nilly or in some hokey way. I wish the bit about the psychos was a bit more explained, though I guess that was the same for the book. I will say I was hooked with the opening societal breakdown scene, which if a movie can do that well I can usually stick through the rest of it, and that includes movies that turn to utter shit like The Happening and Cell.

[Ofcoursemyhorse 1043]

I havent seen the entire movie I think I caught the back half at my mom's house on Christmas. So I'll have to watch the entire thing though at some point. I will say I did appreciate the movie a bit more after reading analysis about this movie that posited that the monsters in the movie were supposed to statements on social media/peoples obsession with their smart phones.

[RyanSz 3140]

This movie has had some off the wall analysis, there was an article I saw that I'm thinking was satire but the author isn't playing it like it is, that says it's about white people hiding their eyes from racism, but the examples he pulls are literally grasps at straws.