October horror themed suggestions

[sorrykansas.com 77]

Ask and you shall receive, Paul.

[sorrykansas.com 77]

I'll get it started. Rob Zombie's Halloween 2. Here are 2 things about it to entice you. First, Michael Meyers' dead mother appears to him in totally lame poetic imagery throughout. If that weren't stupid enough, the entire first 15-20 minutes of the movie ARE A FUCKING DREAM, What's worse is that the movie they set up in the dream was more interesting than the one we woke up to.

[sorrykansas.com 77]

Also Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives is the best of that series. This is the one where Jason is reanimated by lightning, which of course makes him super strong.

[EarBear 460]

The Gingerdead Man - Gary Busey as a possessed, murderous cookie. No, you read that right. This would also make up for the disheartening lack of Busey within the HDTGM canon.

 

Night of the Lepus - This must have been recommended a dozen times already - easily one of the worst cult classics ever. Think "The Birds", only made in the early 70's on a budget of $86. And with giant killer rabbits instead of birds.

 

Bloodsucking Freaks - This movie is classic, balls to the wall what-the-fuckitude. I bought this DVD from a $5 bin at Tower Records, back when there were still Tower Records. Interestingly there is a feature length commentary by a gentleman who went on to be an acclaimed film maker, and who'd make a great guest for this episode, Mr. Eli Roth. Apparently the recording of the commentary was one of his first paid gigs in Los Angeles, and he took it super seriously.

[manmadeeaerwolf 1]

How about Jan de Bont's truly awful remake of the Haunting. The script was crap, the effects were trash, and it sits at an impressive 17% on Rotten Tomatoes.

[staircaseghost 57]

House.

 

No, not the 1986 horror-comedy with George Wendt and Richard Moll.

 

I mean the batshit insane 1977 Japanese what is happening to my eyeballs masterpiece, Hausu. It's like The Evil Dead 2 directed by Douglas Sirk on DMT.

 

You will never look at a girl being eaten by a piano in the same way, believe you me.

[EarBear 460]

Hausu is a great movie. maybe you could get Bill Hader, i know he's a fan:

 

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

I have a lot of opinions on this one, but I'll limit it to just one;

 

CREATURE: I just saw it on Netflix (currently streaming there). Maybe the worst film I've ever seen and it got a HUGE push and nationwide release in theaters. I'm not kidding, I have no idea how that film was made.

 

12% on rotten tomatoes. And so many...many things that Miss June will find 'upsetting'.

 

Here is a list:

 

Full frontal nudity to open the movie.

The worst monster costume in history.

Incest.

A very upsetting HJ.

And so...so much more.

 

OH! And the tagline is..."It Feeds on You." Brilliant.

Edited September 11, 2012 by Lukas Holmes

[Lando 2019]

Gothika - From what I remember this movie is about as scary as someone yelling "boo" and the twists and turns make about as much sense as a later M. Nigiht Shamalan movie. And speaking of which...

The Happening -

Nothing more needs to be said

[sillstaw 414]

CREATURE: I just saw it on Netflix (currently streaming there). Maybe the worst film I've ever seen and it got a HUGE push and nationwide release in theaters.

 

You forgot the best parts: It bombed, hard. According to Box Office Mojo, it opened on 1507 screens and grossed $327,000 opening weekend, which places it fifth on the worst openings of all time and second-worst at the time (now third thanks to "Oogieloves") per-theater average. The most damning statistic: It averaged out less than six people per theater. The same weekend, "Bucky Larson" opened and got a little over eight people a theater.

 

I endorse "Hausu." It's got a decent reputation, but for me, the schizophrenic tone just killed any kind of horror that could have come out of it, and eventually just became wearying.

 

As for my own suggestions... hrm. Looking through my Netflix showed that I don't watch a lot of horror movies, and the ones I didn't like are generally ones that lots of horror fans like. So I looked at the Razzies' worst picture nominees and winners, and found two potential entries. One of them is "Book of Shadows: Blair Witch 2." (Fun fact: This is the only movie directed by Joe Berlinger that is not a documentary. When he does documentaries, it's stuff like "Paradise Lost" that's actually quite good, apparently.)

 

The other isn't really a horror film so much as it is satanic-themed, but come on, why WOULDN'T you want to do "Little Nicky?"

 

Also, because I probably gave it three stars on Netflix on account of it being so hilarious, I almost overlooked "The Happening." Now THAT'S got to be high on the list.

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

Oh God, I forgot about Blair Witch 2. Thankfully.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Also Friday The 13th Part 6: Jason Lives is the best of that series. This is the one where Jason is reanimated by lightning, which of course makes him super strong.

 

Part 6 is my favorite installment of the series, but it's not even near the top of the list as far as HDTGM-worthy films in the series. This WAS the first appearance of zombie Jason though, which probably made the premises of the rest of the films in the series possible:

 

Part 7: Jason vs. a teenage psychic!

Part 8: Jason takes Manhattan! Or Toronto. In any case, it took 2/3 of the film to get there. I have the original poster for this one signed by Kane Hodder and hanging in my kitchen.

Part 9: Jason Goes from being crazy masked killer to FORCE OF NATURE. A lot of body jumping, books of the dead, magic daggers, and Jason ultimately going to Hell!

Part 10: Jason in space. Yeah.

 

That said, this movie was MADE for How Did This Get Made, which is pretty incredible, considering the movie's been around about a decade longer than this podcast. It takes place in the future though, so if anyone would know...

[sorrykansas.com 77]

Yeah, you're right 8 and 10 would probably be way funnier, but I love 6 so much. By the way, I just watched The Creature and I CAN NOT believe that shit was released in theaters. It has DTV written all over it. I'll admit the only reason I watched the whole thing was because I hoped the redhead would take her shirt off again, but I'm glad I did because this movie had the stupidest ending I've ever seen (or rather forced to imagine).

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

Yeah, "Creature" was hot garbage. We had it at our theater last year, and it lasted all of a week, because I don't think the distributor could afford to keep it out any longer if they wanted to. Most of the people that saw it were employees. "Creature" had some pretty great tits on display, but they were like 80's slasher movie tits that belonged to current and future nobodies, but unlike "Friday the 13th" or "Nightmare on Elm Street", I don't think we're going to see these girls pop up/pop out way past their primes in any documentaries 10-20 years down the road talking about "how fun it was" to make those movies.

 

In the case of "Creature" and "OogieLoves", I wonder how many more projects those companies could have financed if they didn't push these things so hard? Even if they would have gone straight to video or cable, at least they wouldn't have been in the hole from all the marketing and distribution costs.

 

Holy shit, "OogieLoves" should be the Halloween movie! It's LITERALLY a nightmare factory.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

Part 6 is my favorite installment of the series, but it's not even near the top of the list as far as HDTGM-worthy films in the series. This WAS the first appearance of zombie Jason though, which probably made the premises of the rest of the films in the series possible:

 

Part 7: Jason vs. a teenage psychic!

Part 8: Jason takes Manhattan! Or Toronto. In any case, it took 2/3 of the film to get there. I have the original poster for this one signed by Kane Hodder and hanging in my kitchen.

Part 9: Jason Goes from being crazy masked killer to FORCE OF NATURE. A lot of body jumping, books of the dead, magic daggers, and Jason ultimately going to Hell!

Part 10: Jason in space. Yeah.

 

That said, this movie was MADE for How Did This Get Made, which is pretty incredible, considering the movie's been around about a decade longer than this podcast. It takes place in the future though, so if anyone would know...

 

Why yes, I DO live by myself. You have to admit though, it's WAY classier than dogs playing poker...

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I don't understand why I can never get pictures to post right. Hmmmmm....

[donovanspivey 1]

You guys really need to do Vampire's Kiss. This "film" has maybe one of the best Nic Cage monologues of all time. The monologue was made into the "you don't say" rage face. If you have any doubts how insane this movie is please watch this youtube video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kfcJUl39iiA

[sorrykansas.com 77]

OH SHIT, VAMPIRE'S KISS! I forgot all about that one. Nic Cage hits a Mariah Carey-esque high-note of insanity in that movie.

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

Yeah, "Creature" was hot garbage. We had it at our theater last year, and it lasted all of a week, because I don't think the distributor could afford to keep it out any longer if they wanted to. Most of the people that saw it were employees. "Creature" had some pretty great tits on display, but they were like 80's slasher movie tits that belonged to current and future nobodies, but unlike "Friday the 13th" or "Nightmare on Elm Street", I don't think we're going to see these girls pop up/pop out way past their primes in any documentaries 10-20 years down the road talking about "how fun it was" to make those movies.

 

In the case of "Creature" and "OogieLoves", I wonder how many more projects those companies could have financed if they didn't push these things so hard? Even if they would have gone straight to video or cable, at least they wouldn't have been in the hole from all the marketing and distribution costs.

 

Holy shit, "OogieLoves" should be the Halloween movie! It's LITERALLY a nightmare factory.

 

The OogieLoves scare me. Even my kids, who want to see everything, have begged me not to make them watch that when we've seen the previews.

[inactiveuser501 168]

PLEASE DO The Hand That Rocks The Cradle! a.k.a B-Movie version of Fatal Attraction. The setup of the movie's premise is absolute insanity, Rebecca De Mornay has the craziest reations to anything, The fact that Annabella Sciorra's character has Asthma and uses an inhaler, The fact that Julianne Moore is in this and her scene in the Greenhouse. And do not get me started on Ernie Hudson, who is playing a MENTALLY DISABLED PERSON. Does that play into the plot? Take a guess.

 

Just sum it all up with that famous line. "It's my family." This would be perfect for you guys!

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wjtfG8r14Uk

[sillstaw 414]

I'm still trying to reconcile the fact that "The Hand That Rocks the Cradle," "L.A. Confidential," "In Her Shoes" and "Losin' It" were all directed by the same guy.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

 

The OogieLoves scare me. Even my kids, who want to see everything, have begged me not to make them watch that when we've seen the previews.

 

I read an article last week where one of the people at the studio that put out "OogieLoves" responded to all the press about it being the WORST opening ever for a wide release film. In it, he says something like "How come if Julia Roberts or Cameron Diaz are in a bomb, no one makes THAT big of a deal about it? What about Zoozie?". First, no one knows what a fucking Zoozie is. Second, I'm pretty sure that this Zoozie creature (short for Pazuzu?) doesn't have a Steven Soderbergh film or a big ensemble romantic comedy in her future to fall back on. Having a giant creepy-as-all-fuck felt puppet head tends to limit one's options...

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

 

I read an article last week where one of the people at the studio that put out "OogieLoves" responded to all the press about it being the WORST opening ever for a wide release film. In it, he says something like "How come if Julia Roberts or Cameron Diaz are in a bomb, no one makes THAT big of a deal about it? What about Zoozie?". First, no one knows what a fucking Zoozie is. Second, I'm pretty sure that this Zoozie creature (short for Pazuzu?) doesn't have a Steven Soderbergh film or a big ensemble romantic comedy in her future to fall back on. Having a giant creepy-as-all-fuck felt puppet head tends to limit one's options...

 

I couldn't figure out the preview at all. Should I have known who or...what...these things were? The worst part was when Chazz Palminteri said "ooooo...my favorite!" I really felt like I might burst into tears in the crowd. Freaking A Bronx Tale...

[sillstaw 414]

 

I read an article last week where one of the people at the studio that put out "OogieLoves" responded to all the press about it being the WORST opening ever for a wide release film. In it, he says something like "How come if Julia Roberts or Cameron Diaz are in a bomb, no one makes THAT big of a deal about it? What about Zoozie?". First, no one knows what a fucking Zoozie is. Second, I'm pretty sure that this Zoozie creature (short for Pazuzu?) doesn't have a Steven Soderbergh film or a big ensemble romantic comedy in her future to fall back on. Having a giant creepy-as-all-fuck felt puppet head tends to limit one's options...

 

Not to mention, people do make a big deal about those people being in bombs. "Knight and Day," anyone?

 

Also, when they bomb, they bomb in the millions. "Oogieloves" bombed below a million. BIG difference.

[AgentOrange 9]

I would love to see the gang do "Tales from the Hood" which is a Spike Lee joint, kinda. He produced it and it's a whole lot of fun to watch. It's one of my favorite "bad" movies to watch.