The Paperboy

[CWBaer 3]

It's not out yet but the couple reviews I've read of this movie make is sound like true HDTGM material. It was compared to Tiptoes in the Deadspin review. Then there's this gem of a concluding sentance from Pajiba.com "It is a sorry, limp, bedraggled mess of a film — so bad it’s bad."

[sillstaw 414]

When the trailer came out, I wrote a few jokes about it on Facebook (i.e. what a terrible video game adaptation), then just had to say: "Nicole Kidman pees on Zac Efron. That's not a joke. That actually happens [in the movie]." (Granted, it's because a jellyfish stings him, but without having seen the film, I have to ask how that's all relevant to its plot about a murder mystery.)

[buckflash 0]

Reasons To Consider the southern fried pile of pretentious crap that is The Paperboy:

 

1. It was booed when it played (in competition) at Cannes.

2. Nicole Kidman pees -graphically- on a prone Zac Efron

3. Nicole Kidman simulates fellatio on the air for a good 3 minutes of screen time

4. All of the cast speaks in unintelligible Northern Florida accents, and is performing at such a pitch you'd swear the movie was directed by Nicolas Cage.

5. I heard one reviewer describe it as being much like "Tennessee Williams' Poop".

 

It is right up there with Showgirls on the "What the Fuck?!" scale.

 

Love the show. Thanks for all the laughs.

[sillstaw 414]

1. It was booed when it played (in competition) at Cannes.

 

In fairness, the people who attend Cannes are very vocal when they hate the movies they watch. "The Brown Bunny" also got a lot of hecklers; Roger Ebert defended himself from criticism when he started whistling during the movie because almost nobody else would have been able to hear him.

 

But yeah, this movie would be worth considering just for the "Nicole Kidman pees on Zac Efron" thing. (Heck, it'd be worth considering because Zac Efron is in it. Besides "Hairspray" and maybe that Orson Welles movie, I don't think he's been in a good movie yet.) Everything else about it just adds to the cake. Especially the fact that it's directed by the guy who made "Precious" (or, as I think of it, "Pity the Black Girl: The Movie"), as well as a movie where Helen Mirren and Cuba Gooding Jr. play lovers who are also assassins. (And he's currently working on a movie where Nixon, Eisenhower and Reagan are played by John Cusack, Robin Williams and Alan Rickman, respectively.)

[Nutnut85 0]

Do this movie

[Nutnut85 0]

This is the oddest thing I've ever seen. Starting with incoherent narration this spins into the shittiest attempt at an art film with 60s filming style. Jon cusack jacks off in his pants and Matthew mcconghey pays two black gents to rape and beat him within inches of his life leaving him disfigured for the remainder of the film til his throat is slit in a swamp. I finished the film feeling dirty and confused. That any of these actors saw this script and agreed is fucking amazing. Please see this awful film. It changed my life

[PhillipMedoc 648]

1. It was booed when it played (in competition) at Cannes.

2. Nicole Kidman pees -graphically- on a prone Zac Efron

3. Nicole Kidman simulates fellatio on the air for a good 3 minutes of screen time

4. All of the cast speaks in unintelligible Northern Florida accents, and is performing at such a pitch you'd swear the movie was directed by Nicolas Cage.

5. I heard one reviewer describe it as being much like "Tennessee Williams' Poop".

Huh, those all sound like terrific reasons to watch a movie. I had totally forgotten about this one as Nicole Kidman is utterly and completely forgettable as an actress. And I remember seeing the trailer play back to back with a trailer for the On The Road adaptation from last year and they kind of blended together in my mind as one thing I need to avoid.

 

what a terrible video game adaptation

10/10 Five stars A+++++++++++ comment, would quote again.

[seanotron 2307]

I had totally forgotten about this one as Nicole Kidman is utterly and completely forgettable as an actress.

 

I think she had a good run in the late 90s/early aughts. I thought she was great in Moulin Rouge, To Die For and The Others.

[PhillipMedoc 648]

I think she had a good run in the late 90s/early aughts. I thought she was great in Moulin Rouge, To Die For and The Others.

I have not seen Moulin Rouge as Baz musicals are not really my thing. I understand the general consensus on this is that it's a good movie. Leonard gives it 3 and 1/2 stars, high praise from Leonard; he says it's got an "excellent cast", a "memorable theme song by Georges Auric", and was an "Oscar winner for its stunning art direction".

 

To Die For is a complete piece of garbage, from what I remember. That was when I made a mental note to stop watching Gus Van Sant, even though I've enjoyed other garbage he's produced, like Gerry (if you view it as a nature documentary on deserts, it's quite nice). Haven't watched it since it came out, though, so my perspective would probably be different now.

 

The Others, at the time, just felt too much like The Sixth Sense even though I'm completely wrong. I guess I just don't like her because she has very little range; she's simply Nicole Kidman starring as Nicole Kidman.

[seanotron 2307]

I can see where you're coming from, as I think she has played a lot of stiff, kind of uninteresting characters. One of the reasons I like her in Moulin Rouge so much is she's really vamping it up & having a great time of it. And I really enjoyed To Die For. I think she absolutely makes the film work. I don't have any particular attachment to Van Sant, I just thought it was a very sharp black comedy.

[neilly 105]

I thought Kidman did a good job here. I think she's a decent actress when given something to work with. I feel like her role in The Paperboy was very reminescent of To Die For. A manipulative sex-pot sociopath. That may be her schtick. I thought she was also great in Stoker, Moulin Rouge and Dead Calm.

 

And for the record, To Die For is my fave Van Sant movie. That probably shows how much I like his stuff. But, it was a decent satire about the media before satires about the media were commonplace.

[JasonMcNamara 2]

Please consider reviewing this disaster. The film starts off with a framing device that gets abandoned after the first five minutes. A list actors portray sleazy and disgusting characters who continually make stupid decisions that get them killed.

 

Also, Nicole Kidman does an air blow job that even gets a gay character hard. Really.