Never Too Young to Die (1986)

[KevinMerryman 58]

"Secret agent Drew Stargrove (George Lazenby) is brutally murdered by the ruthless Van Ragnar (Gene Simmons). In this action-packed Bond-style thriller, the murdered secret agent's son, Lance Stargrove (John Stamos) is thrust into the dangerous and intriguing world of secret agents and espionage when he seeks revenge against Van Ragnar. Danja Deerling (Vanity) teams up with Lance as his sidekick and love interest."

 

This is one of my favorite bad action movies from the 80's. I mean, just check out that cast! Any movie with Gene Simmons as the villain needs to be seen to be believed (and that includes Runaway starring Tom Selleck).

[sillstaw 414]

I love that

to this movie sounds like something off an 80s sitcom.

[nilbogstreet 1]

I created an account just to recommend this movie. I don't know why this isn't in the hall of fame of bad movies like Showgirls or The Room. This movie needs talked about! John Stamo gis a teenage gymnast. His father is a spy who is killed by gene simmons, a herphamadite who goes by "Velvet." With the help of Vanity, John Stamos is able to step into his father's shoes and stop Velvet from poisoning the water supply. Also, it's on youtube so no one has to pay to rent it (though it's worth every penny.)

[sillstaw 414]

Don't forget that his dad is played by George Lazenby!

[jsvw007 0]

Never Too Young To Die (1986) stars John Stamos as the gymnast son of a secret agent (George Lazenby). However, he doesn't even know his father is a secret agent. The film also includes Gene Simmons and Vanity.

 

The movie is insanely ridiculous, but continuously entertaining and provides THE FUNNIEST seduction scene in cinema. You will never laugh so hard as to watch John Stamos trying to stop himself from being seduced by the actress Vanity (the Canadian singer who was involved with Prince). It involves dancing with a limp garden hose and multiple apples being eaten... need I say more?!

 

Shout! Factory recently released this in Blu-ray, and I saw it for the first time and instantly knew this had to be reviewed by the Gang, especially June. Please do this movie, and if anyone reading this hasn't seen it, stop what you're doing and watch it now!!!!!

 

https://youtu.be/UnoHa3H4EMI

 

Edit: My bad, I didn't find this movie when I used the forum search tool but the moderator combined our threads... thanks!

[AbeFroman 70]

Stargrove!!

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xM9yR6unqhc

 

Young John Stamos vs.transvestite Gene Simmons?!!

 

Bumping this out of necessity.

[NathanWallace 1]

"Borrowed" from IMDB

Never Too Young to Die (1986)

 

Velvet Von Ragner is a powerful murderous psychopathic gang leader, but also a hermaphrodite who prides himself of being both a man and a woman. He's holding a gang rally where he announces his plans to poison the water supply and pipeline of a major US city. However, top US secret agent and double O counterpart Drew Stargrove steals a key component he needs to pull this off. After an action packed shoot out, Stargrove is surrounded and although he puts up a good fight, he's eventually killed by Von Ragner. However, the component is not on him. Meanwhile, his estranged son Lance, a talented high school gymnast, receives the word of his father's death. As part of their denial protocol, the government claims that he's been killed in a car accident, which Lance doesn't buy. Lance notices that part of his inheritance is a farm he never knew his father had, so he goes there to check it out. The only person living there turns out to be Danja Deering, a beautiful female spy, who worked with Drew in more ways than one. Two of Von Ragner's henchmen arrive thinking that she has the component and assault her. Lance arrives just in the nick of time and helps her defeat them, although his barn blows up in the process. Danja explains the situation to him and they agree to team up and stop Von Ragner. However, Von Ragner has plenty of insanely loyal, buffed and well armed psychopathic henchmen, he's a master of disguises and he doesn't stray away from murder or sexual assault, so they'll have their work cut out for them. Both sides have their own tech experts to assist them in their quest - Velvet Von Ragner has nerdy Riley and Lance has his Asian-American roommate and tech genius Cliff, who comes up with one of the most original weapons ever seen on film.

 

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0091621/plotsummary?item=ps2927576

[Doofgodolac 19]

This was one of those movies I stayed up to watch when HBO would sign off for the night.They would always play something dark or shitty around 1:00 AM then shut down for a few hours. God did this film ever belong in that timeslot. I also have a vivid memory of Gene Simmons promoting the movie, talking about his portrayal of the evil hermaphrodite Velvet. I guess he now says he was terrible in it. He's correct but I am not certain there was any saving this stinking pile.

[SlidePocket 707]

It's going to be at the Largo on July 29!

[Breadbutt 21]

started watching this last night but fell asleep. picking up where I left of today. 
so many things I want to comment on... what are the forum rules as far as spoilers? do we just need to wait till after the episode airs or can we just dive right in?