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CaptPukeFish

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Topics posted by CaptPukeFish

  1.  

    Don't call them midgets. Text them midgets. Them damn midgets never answer their phones.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 405 views
  2.  

    As she entered the pleasure tub,the occupants gasped.Such low-hanging breasts were rarely seen round these parts.She flicked her cigarette confidently

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 531 views
  3.  

    We all watched him get eaten and all we did was stand around and ask questions. The blood of Gilbert Grape's masticated corpse is on all of our hands.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 314 views
  4.  

    They don't tell you this in school, but you can fit sixteen and a half hamsters in a hamster ball.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 282 views
  5.  

    It was Mrs.Peacock in the library with a candlestick. The mystery of who was loudly masturbating finally solved, it was time to find the murderer.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 2 replies
    • 722 views
  6.  

    Sounds like a "D" name? David maybe? Someone named "David" in the first few rows. Your Grandpa says he misses u and admires ur masturbating technique.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 323 views
  7.  

    Heavy is the head that wears the crown, except for Clown-King Dingle Muffins. That delightful and sadistic bastard has a balloon crown for fucks sake.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 345 views
  8.  

    The enemy at the gate,cries of despair echoed thru the streets.The butcher playfully tucked his man beef betwixt his legs.He knew what the Mrs. liked.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 410 views
  9.  

    RE: Pants: On or Off? We come as we are and let nature decide. BOOM MIC enter stage left. Fade to sex.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 400 views
  10.  

    Hey Siri, did Marcel Marceau ever use air quotes?

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 337 views
  11.  

    Life is just a rat race towards death, and we're all just trying to cum on as many rats as possible before they make it to the finish line. Amen.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 331 views
  12.  

    The highway's jammed with broken heroes on a last chance power drive, and I'm pretty sure the guy in the car next to me is jerking off.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 305 views
  13.  

    I don't have a horse in this race. I AM a horse in this race. I do however have a horse in the next race - my son, Uninvested Observing Horse Jr.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 399 views
  14.  

    Harper's Bazaar claims the show has a proportional amount of eloquent junk for even the fleshiest of trunks. Emoji score: 3 eggplants and half a poo.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 390 views
  15.  

    I like my catchphrases like I like my analogies; nonsensical, contextually vague, and with as many bare tits as possible.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 1 reply
    • 728 views
  16.  

    If attacked by a bear, play dead. If that doesn't work, actually die.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 416 views
  17.  

    When you're Joan Jett, you're a Joan Jett all the way. If you're not Joan Jett then who gives a shit?

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 461 views
  18.  

    I was born with a silver spoon in my mouth, baffling doctors, but not mother, whose secret spoon fetish would lead my family to a life of poverty.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 389 views
  19.  

    Its the same every nite; I find myself on a podcast trying to explain a recurring dream,and I awaken to find Im just an ill-conceived meta-catchphrase

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 373 views
  20.  

    It's like there's a party in my mouth, and giant teeth show up to slaughter all the guests, and grind them down to a bloody paste of organs and bones.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 511 views
  21.  

    Don't listen to those mean kids Timmy. We are all equal in the eyes of Zorblox the God-butcher, Indiscriminate Slayer of Children. Hail Zorblox.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 361 views
  22.  

    'Almost' doesn't count except in horseshoes and hand grenades, and for handshoes and horse grenades, we only count the 'almosts'. Now...

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 1 reply
    • 3399 views
  23.  

    I don't miss fishing for Amy Fisher's anal fissures, as those are the blistery fissures which that witch Ms. Fischer used to make me kiss.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 509 views
  24.  

    You can shear a sheep many times, but skin them only once. It's $10 to sheer, $45 to skin. Will you be paying with cash or card?

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 1 reply
    • 674 views
  25.  

    I'm playing chess while all these fools are playing checkers. That makes it my fifth checkers tournament this month that I've been disqualified from.

    By CaptPukeFish, in New Catchphrase Suggestions

    • 0 replies
    • 372 views
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