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About MySecretHemorrhoid

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  1. ~cue laugh track~
  2. MySecretHemorrhoid

    I stink, therefore you scram.

    Go ahead. Smell my finger.
  3. My sock puppet is a juliard- trained ballet dancer with an eating disorder who was kicked out of his company for barfing on the audience during a production of swan lake and now works with me, JoBo the Magic Grifter, stealing cheap plastic cell phone accessories from tourists at disney land.
  4. The long-awaited sequel to the beloved apple proverb.
  5. Gender, like bacon grease, is fluid.
  6. Do not take me for some conjurer of cheap tricks, mom!
  7. MySecretHemorrhoid

    What the fudge is this crepe?!

    I ordered a blueberry waffle, bitch!
  8. “Now get in the pit, and try to LIFT THIS CHAIR!”
  9. And if you sag, you get hitches.
  10. I’ll put some cock in your doodle doo.
  11. What did it expect from wearing all that tight leather?
  12. Don't be silly, wrap your gonzo.
  13. MySecretHemorrhoid

    Seeing Is Believing, Peeing Is Relieving