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Content count
819 -
Joined
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Last visited
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Days Won
29
Topics posted by StopEatingBees
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I always burp before I walk past strangers, so my one "excuse me" can cover both transgressions
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 2 replies
- 197 views
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I always thought my penis was pretty liberal but now I can see it leans to the right
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 161 views
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I am serious! And thank you for calling me Shirley, for indeed that is my name
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 138 views
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I asked her to play Fuck Marry Kill where I'm the only option, and she agreed. I'm getting married, you guys!
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 137 views
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I ate the magic beans, went to lay an egg & ended up jackin' the beanstalk
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 136 views
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I bought a pedometer but it just keeps flashing the word "probably"
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 1 reply
- 235 views
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I came here to chew gum and kick ass. Maybe just the gum, I brought a lot of gum.
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 350 views
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I can feel it coming in the air tonight! Just please don't get any on my glasses this time
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 139 views
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- 0 replies
- 165 views
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I can relate, child of an irritable alcoholic parent hurling beer mugs at you - I also dodged the draft a couple times before it finally got me.
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 140 views
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I can talk to animals, but only in the language of love. Or German
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 139 views
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I can't remember who sings Don't You Forget About Me, now I'm not even sure who I've failed
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 142 views
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I can't shake this mental image of Rainn Wilson as Galactus
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 152 views
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I couldn't work up the nerve to break up with my girlfriend, so I convinced her to play Monopoly with me. Now she's in prison.
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 149 views
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I didn't think Jeopardy would influence my life, but I just answered my phone in the form of a question.
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 198 views
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I dig two graves before I dig two graves, and then I dig two more
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 151 views
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I don't know when I bought that milk in my fridge, but the kid on the carton is definitely old enough to be missing by now
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 1 reply
- 169 views
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I don't know with what weapons World War 3 will be fought, but World War 4 will be fought with turtle shells and banana peels
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 149 views
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I don't practice Santeria, because I'm already great at it.
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 160 views
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I don't see the glass as half-empty OR half-full. I drink from the BOTTLE. Like a MAN.
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 150 views
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I drive a Volkswagen Beetle, because it's illegal for me to punch your kids, but I do want them to be punched.
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 137 views
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I eat lightning, but despite my best digestive efforts, I still crap poop.
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 227 views
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I feel like even a one-nation army would stand a pretty good chance of repelling Jack White
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 139 views
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I feel you, Burger King. I too have an Impossible Whopper that nobody wants
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 141 views
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I feel you, left ball. I also have only two close friends.
By StopEatingBees, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 181 views