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Content count
1089 -
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Last visited
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Days Won
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Topics posted by Pure Guava
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Me and Colfax Corndog huffin' gas with a weird mall kid
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 471 views
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Hot cross buns. Hot cross buns. Boy, someone really pissed off those buns.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 415 views
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Hey you fucking corporate newspaper whore,take the white house's dick out yr' mouth & quote this: "I'll give you a proper interview after I finish breakfast,I'm simply a bear without my tea & biscuit,please return in 15 min. if it's not too much trouble"
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 393 views
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Jam on toast, taste buds can boast. Jam on toes, waste muds ban roast. And so began chapter one of my father's dementia diaries.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 415 views
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We interrupt this broadcast to bring you this braking news: Harder you press the quicker you stop, same as before.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 402 views
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They say the line between madness & genius is thinner than the wire the CIA planted in my teeth to keep track of my spending & send instructions on overtaking Peru's gold supply using the laptop I made out of walnuts, car batteries & mommy's night soil
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 407 views
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So thankful that dog parks have moved out of the "meet cute" location placed in every rom-com phase and into the "meat flute" location placed in every Tom's mom phase. Ha HA TOM, DOG PARK BANGED YOUR MOM!!!
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 415 views
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Except for the occasional necromancer shenanigans, inside-her trading is virtually 100% in-utero babies determined to put together a retirement nest egg weeks before they are born.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 399 views
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- 0 replies
- 384 views
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I've heard of whiskey dick but experimental psychedelic research chemical snuck into my water supply by the government as punishment for defaulting on my student loan penis?
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 481 views
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In the name of the father, the son, and the Holy Spirit, there are vowels and there are consonants. Thus ends your grammar lesson for today.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 394 views
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My dog's bark is worse than his bite. By that I mean he has a rare skin disease that makes his fur turn hard and peel like bark, a side effect of the medicine is total tooth loss hence the weak bite.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 1 reply
- 453 views
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Bring it on, Ultron. No strings on you till my jizzy ropes flew.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 410 views
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If you break a rib and it's poking out of your chest, damn son, that body chest is like a treasure chest, black market demand for fresh man rib through the roof
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 395 views
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4 score and 7 beers ago Babe-raham Lincoln ended the civil war by giving the South what it was totally begging for, full-frontal nudity, bro!
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 397 views
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- 0 replies
- 863 views
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We have to stop all this hatred and killing based on race, sex, & religion because the only thing that truly matters in a person is if they prefer early prog-era Genesis or the later pop star garbage years.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 361 views
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You call that a catchphrase? Sounded more like a bobbled-and-dropped-phrase to me, butterwits.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 390 views
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Ye three minstrels who art betwixt beast and boy art causing quiteth ye commotion o'er yonder, thine ears nary heard such wicked rhyming nor huzzahs aplenty. Assuredly tis Lucifer's work. Prithee bringeth to me ye olde catapult and rope, verily!
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 368 views
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- 0 replies
- 381 views
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If I ever open up an Asian cookware store specifically targeted to Rastafarians you better believe I'm naming it Jah-pan.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 374 views
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And now his watch has ended...thought it was waterproof, 'twas not. 'Tis a shame, he only had it a few days, certainly not a Rolex by any means, but a sturdy, fashionable timepiece all the same that will be missed.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 379 views
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Is this catchphrase too long? Suuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck it
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 348 views
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Boys will be boys, men will turn into old men, but Boys 2 Men live forever in the part of our hearts that only rent to adolescents aging to adulthood while singing 4-part harmony over Philly soul w/ a touch of New Jack bad boy to keep the ladies frothing
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 353 views
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Every pirate and French sailor you ever met tried to warn you that gonorrhea should be called stayorrhea but alas, the last pirate died 100 years before you were born and you abhor the thought of engaging with a Frenchman.
By Pure Guava, in New Catchphrase Suggestions
- 0 replies
- 428 views