House (1986)

[SolRaberGood 0]

After his aunt dies in an apparent suicide, an army veteran/writer returns to his aunt's house to battle closet monsters, goblins, and even a zombie Bull from Nightcourt.

 

This movie is definitely bonkers and it's proven in the fact that it is a horror comedy....HALF SET IN THE VIETNAM WAR. WHAT THE FUCK?! It so haphazardly ties together it isn't even fun. There is a scene when a total sexy bitch of a neighbour drops her kid off at his house and literally forces him to babysit. UH OH, BABYSITTING WHILE THE GOULS ARE ATTACKING HIM!? I smell hijinks!

 

George Wendt is also another neighbour who keeps showing up, at one point even firing a harpoon at a closet monster. (Again what the fuck) This movie made me laugh, it made me cry, and it definitely made me ask, "How did this get made?".

[RyanSz 3140]

I remember watching this as a kid and thinking it was an okay movie, its sequels are utter crap though and seem to have different themes and no real connection to each other.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

I remember the second one being on ALL the time once it hit cable, though I don't think I can remember a single thing from it anymore. Was there some sort of adorable goblin dog thing?

[NeilMiddleton 13]

Yeah, the second one had a green dog-worm thing that was kinda cute. And the plot? They've got to find a crystal skull and return it to its rightful place and whackiness ensues. Actually, the first two House films are pretty fun.

 

House IV, which is actually House III, but a film made by the same producers called The Horror Show was released internationally as House III - which is why you'll never find House III in America - was supposed to be a direct sequel to the first film, but they botched it all up. William Katt's son is now a paralyzed daughter and I don't remember who his wife exactly is. His ex? A new flame? I don't know, I just hated the damn thing...

[seanotron 2307]

This movie is actually kind of amazing. But it would absolutely make for a good episode, because it is capital B Bonkers.

[paultab 225]

This movie has great WTF-factor, but not nearly as much as the Japanese movie Hausu that I'm convinced that it is based on, or even the second one, which is next-level insane because it tries to make the House franchise family-friendly.

[justinmh05 1968]

Isn't this one inspired by the Lovecraft mythos?

 

Speaking of that, they should do the early 90s Necronomicon movie. That movie is a bonkers blend of cut-rate monster costumes and laughably bad acting (save for David Warner).

[jimkiler 84]

I remember the second one being on ALL the time once it hit cable, though I don't think I can remember a single thing from it anymore. Was there some sort of adorable goblin dog thing?

 

While George Wendt was in House 1, Cliff Clavin was in House 2. But the first also has Bull from Night court. The first definitely has an entertainment value the second was missing.

[paultab 225]

I bought House when it came out on DVD because I remembered enjoying both movies when I was a kid, and I annoyed my girlfriend all the way home ("Look! Not only did they include House 1, but House 2! So I have House 2! And all I thought I was getting was House 1! But now I have House 2, too! Ha! House 2, too! But also, is what I meant. I have House 2 also."), then drove her full-on insane the next morning when I said, "You know, watching it now, House 2 actually sucks."

[Skeevins 322]

 

A haunted house movie involving Vietnam, missing children, horror novelists, and irresponsible Swedish(?) mothers. Also, a haunted swordfish that surely inspired the "Billy Bass" craze. A truly goofy movie that could never decide on a tone.

 

I predict this will set a HDTGM record for amount of times the gang says "very upsetting."

[seanotron 2307]

Yet, it's still better than House 2: The Second Story, which replaces George Wendt with John Ratzenberger. My hope was that the subsequent sequels would continue to insert random actors from Cheers into the story, but it never materialized.

[PhillipMedoc 648]

No way, House 2 is actually a great movie. It actually embraced the comedic aspects instead of the first one, which never found its footing.

 

It was a favorite of mine as a kid, and I watched it again a couple years ago; it holds up fairly well as a product of its time. One thing that's always cracked me up is how little difference there was between the two posters:

 

 

[seanotron 2307]

No way, House 2 is actually a great movie. It actually embraced the comedic aspects instead of the first one, which never found its footing.

 

It was a favorite of mine as a kid, and I watched it again a couple years ago; it holds up fairly well as a product of its time. One thing that's always cracked me up is how little difference there was between the two posters:

 

See, I saw it recently and it had aged very poorly for me. Though I can't say with absolute certainty that it was worse than the first, so I'll withdraw that statement.

[AprilFoolsRebel 457]

I actually JUST watched this on Netflix for the first time. And I agree totally; it just couldn't decide what kind of movie it wanted to be.

 

Very strange flick.

[Quasar Sniffer 4174]

As someone who loves horror movies, I welcome to chance to watch/make fun of shitty horror movies, especially ones that can't decide what the hell they are. It makes things more awkward, which is always good for mockery. I may have to check these out anyway, as I can't resist a pun title as good as "The Second Story."

 

They even have great posters!

[neilly 105]

Yeah, it was all over the place. It's part...Evil Dead...part...Bosom Buddies...part...soft core porno...part...Ransom starring Mel Gibson...It was very very random.

[PhillipMedoc 648]

I can't resist a pun title as good as "The Second Story."

OH. MY. SHIT.

 

I never even realized that. That's fantastic. I love puns, but for some reason I have a hard time getting them in print.

[Skeevins 322]

Also a lot of weird misogyny that I'm sure June will be all over. Plenty of wife-murder fantasies played out here. Plenty of women being heartlessly cavalier about the well-being of their families. The writer clearly had issues, y'all.

[DennisBurdziak 0]

This movie is nuts. Starring William Katt, George Wendt and Richard Moll. It's a horror movie that is anything but horrifying. It's hard to tell if this is trying to be funny or if it's unintentional. William Katt is a novelist who moves into his Aunt's haunted house, trying to write a novel about his experiences in Vietnam, but the house has other ideas! Full of weird badly executed monsters, cheesy Vietnam flashbacks and oh, yeah, his son was kidnapped?