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Episode 24 — Describe Player

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Sean and Hayes recount their Celebrity Date Auction showdown with William Fichtner, then dig into the Real World and Marlon's strong reasoning for anal sex, the poem reading scandal, and a funny thing Johnny does sometimes. Next is a Reality Show Show Preview Preview of the new Ryan Lochte show. Finally DANIELLA MCBRIDE of The Bachelor appears for her date with Sean and Hayes and chooses one of them to be her husband.

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Really? No mention of Hayes' appearance on Jeopardy? I'm so disappointed.

 

I'm glad that you guys know about the rule that you have to print out and distribute copies of your poem to anyone who's near you whenever you write one. I mean, at least 12 state legislatures have already passed laws requiring that this be done and the recent public opinion polls show widespread support. I think it actually started in Oregon and then we enacted the same law here in Washington. The punishment for not doing this is actually public beheading, so it's really good that Jessica did that. I don't think it's a law in North Carolina, where Jessica's from, they aren't as progressive as we are here in the Northwest.

 

Also, I know a lot about Lochtianity because I actually attend the Church of Ryan Lochte of Latter Day Saints. I don't know if you guys intended that quip about Lochte being like Jesus as a joke or what but he really is. You know, a lot of people don't know this but Jesus actually was wearing a diamond grill on the cross. Ryan Lochte also parallels Jesus in many other ways: Jesus was a carpenter who used tools, Ryan Lochte is a toolbag. See, the parallels are endless. You can read about them in the Book of Lochte: Another Testament of Jesus Christ.

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Woah, Danny McBride is a lot hotter sounding when he isn't in character

 

Edit: I notice that Sean wore a tie, but Hayes did not. Clearly one of you knows about dressing to impress. I'll leave it up to the readers to decide who knows what.

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Some thoughts:

 

One of the worst parts of America today is that you guys haven't done an episode on the Video Podcast Network yet.

 

I was a Managing Editor too, and I gotta tell you, I really miss that feeling of being Top Dog. Thanks for the suggestion of how to fill that void.

 

One day I will make you guys your own Splash funk intros and everyone is going to love them.

 

The End good on ya mates cheers

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One of the worst parts of America today is that you guys haven't done an episode on the Video Podcast Network yet.

 

 

I agree! What say you, Sean and Hayes?! We could steal some reality show games. I haven't seen Shark Tank yet, but we could probably fit a hammerhead and a kiddie pool in the studio...

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I agree! What say you, Sean and Hayes?! We could steal some reality show games. I haven't seen Shark Tank yet, but we could probably fit a hammerhead and a kiddie pool in the studio...

 

PLEASE? If you do shark tank you have to get Howard come pitch his ideas for stuff.

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Another thing:

 

I have a question about something Sean said in this episode. He said "if it's a pissing contest you're going to get wet too, my man." Having never been in a pissing contest before I'm wondering how one actually works. Does each involved party piss on the other? What if there are three or more involved parties? How does one know who has won? Is there some sort of objective judge or referee? I just need to know the mechanics of this contest so that I can better understand what was meant.

 

PS-

Are extra points awarded for sexual arousal?

 

Sincerely,

Definitely NOT R. Kelly

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Let's see, how do I put this as delicately as possible? Has Sean taken ill lately? Or did he get kicked in the head by a mule or something? Or maybe he got in a fight with a prize-fighter or something? Cause that was one dumb ass question, pal. God bless that Daniella for being a true professional and Lochte-ing her way out of it with a "that's a good question". Very sweet of her to act like it was a good question and even sweeter of her to throw him a pity rose at that end. Just a real class act. An absolute consummate pro.

 

And Hayes, that was some grade-a acting at the end, pretending to be upset about not getting the rose. Dare I say that it was... Lochtesque? Very convincing, but of course no one would ever be upset about not being given a rose over a guy with the mental capacity of a 6 year old.

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You guys are a couple of chuckle houses...

 

(I don't know if i want you to talk about 'ready for love' or if i'm just fucking scared of it)

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PLEASE? If you do shark tank you have to get Howard come pitch his ideas for stuff.

 

What an amazing idea! We'll have to try and make it happen.

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Let's see, how do I put this as delicately as possible? Has Sean taken ill lately? Or did he get kicked in the head by a mule or something? Or maybe he got in a fight with a prize-fighter or something?

 

Didn't Sean say pretty specifically that Earwolf said he would die from a kick to the brain from a horse? Wasn't that supposed to happen a while ago?

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