Episode 81 — Finger Fuckers

[Asteck 1250]

I don't know how to explain it other than repeat what Randy said. At a certain point, it is like, "enough already, I get it. Case closed." My wife is saying I just need to step away.

 

Would you be willing to do a judged Case Closed on Case Closed and be done with it? If you win, people have to stop harping about it and do what they've had the option of doing this whole time: take two GD seconds and skip that portion of the show. If you lose, retire the segment. I'm sure one of the more outspoken forum members would be willing to volunteer to debate you.

[DanEngler 5249]

Now that the napalm has somewhat evaporated, I'll say that Astartes' post really doesn't read that offensively to me. I read it as "unsolicited opinions aren't hard to find in today's divided world, but great improv comedy podcasts are, and that's what he listens to I4H for". I can understand that angle...

RIP Spirit Bear, I find it totally unsurprising that you support Astartes' earlier comments, because both you and Astartes have been posting from the same IP address, in some cases only minutes apart. Would you care to explain this?

[Shannon 2953]

 

I can barely believe I'm having to post this, and in this thread of all places.

 

Everyone only gets ONE account.

 

We don't do sockpuppets or burners here. It is 1000% unnecessary. This is a goddamn podcast message board, anything you have to say can be said with the account you have. Hiding behind extra anonymity is so asinine I can't stand it.

 

If we see you posting under multiple accounts, they will all go bye bye. kay?

[choochoo_the_wonder_slut 740]

RIP Spirit Bear, I find it totally unsurprising that you support Astartes' earlier comments, because both you and Astartes have been posting from the same IP address, in some cases only minutes apart. Would you care to explain this?

 

Congrats on uncovering the horrible secret that I have a roommate, supersleuth! Do you hack for Anonymous?

[DanEngler 5249]

Uh huh. And I suppose you conveniently also happen to have two additional roommates that registered the two other accounts associated with your IP address?

[BrettMorris 1862]

rofl

[GarbageCan 143]

This is scandalous.

[Jachin 123]

I'm gettin' bad vibes from this thread... Case Closed can be hit or miss. I haven't listened to this ep yet, but I did think last weeks was a miss, but, y'know, I do have the ability to skip it. I guess if it inspires great improv then I'm all for it.

[BrettMorris 1862]

[choochoo_the_wonder_slut 740]

Uh huh. And I suppose you conveniently also happen to have two additional roommates that registered the two other accounts associated with your IP address?

 

Actually three other roommates! Post-grads tend to be poor and huddle together. But I'm sure you could also be right, and I'm a sociopath who made a fake account just for two posts, with a master plan to cover my tracks by starting this account a year ago and posting over 500 times as a rabid fan to throw you off my scent, all while being Manti Teo's girlfriend. Now reply that I'm lying or just delete my account... either way I'm good with it.

[Neclord 194]

This has been a rollercoaster of a thread.

[BrettMorris 1862]

 

Actually three other roommates! Post-grads tend to be poor and huddle together. But I'm sure you could also be right, and I'm a sociopath who made a fake account just for two posts, with a master plan to cover my tracks by starting this account a year ago and posting over 500 times as a rabid fan to throw you off my scent, all while being Manti Teo's girlfriend. Now reply that I'm lying or just delete my account... either way I'm good with it.

I want to believe.

 

But even if you're telling the truth here, it still provides some conveniently omitted context to your passionate defense, don't you think? You could've just said "hey guys lay off my roommate. i know him, he didn't mean it."

[pbnews 93]

Don't want to get involved in the Barack Hussein Odrama, but Spirit Bear is a solid poster, and one of our more fervent Earwolfers... I'd hate to see him deleted over this lame thread... (I'm not a roommate, by the way, just a guy who usually likes the community around here).

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

I'd hate to see him deleted over this lame thread.

 

I have to agree (not the lame thread part). If Spirit Bear is using multiple accounts, let him clean them up, don't delete. He's got some pretty good stuff to say.

 

But.....yeah buddy (Spirit Bear), if you were using four different accounts, cut that out, you don't need that.

 

But I totally understand man. Once you get into the world of EARWOLF FORUM ACCOUNT ADDICTION, it's hard to stop. I mean one day you're just innocently commenting on Sklarbro Country, then before you know it you're doing lines off of NERD POKER'S ogre balls and then freebasing in the back of a car on a Kindle while posting to THE WOLF DEN. It's tough. Real tough.

 

Am I the only one praying that Besser is frantically trying to get Spirit Bear (IF THAT IS YOUR REAL NAME!) on the podcast? That would be amazing.

 

Either way, if you are using multiple accounts just cut it out, if you aren't......well.....you are, aren't you? Heh. F**king Earwolf forums. You make my day.

[oniontalk 32]

oh shit, I came as soon as I heard! Damn, Spirit Bear, you dun goofed. This is too awkward, even for me.

 

 

I'd hate to see him deleted over this lame thread...

 

Brett loves forum drama waaay to much to delete an account for something like this.

[DanEngler 5249]

Actually three other roommates! Post-grads tend to be poor and huddle together.

While cute, your response doesn't actually address the question of why there are four accounts originating from your IP.

 

But I'm sure you could also be right, and I'm a sociopath who made a fake account just for two posts, with a master plan to cover my tracks by starting this account a year ago and posting over 500 times as a rabid fan to throw you off my scent, all while being Manti Teo's girlfriend.

Or, less deliberately obtuse, you didn't want to risk the possibility that throwing shade at Besser would affect your reputation as a self-proclaimed "rabid fan", and created a convenient anonymous account from behind which to snipe.

 

Which would be extra ironic, given the fact that this Case Closed imbroglio began with Besser's reaction to people hiding behind online anonymity to broadcast hate about Jason Collins.

 

Now reply that I'm lying or just delete my account... either way I'm good with it.

Protip: Playing both the "I am a rabid fan" and "ban me I don't care" cards in the same post diminishes the credibility of either position.

 

The bottom line is that the forums have recently experienced an influx of people registering accounts for the express purpose of shitting on a particular host or guest. Under Shannon's benevolent guidance, we take a very light touch toward moderation, and you'll note that few (if any) of them are banned for their efforts. The last thing we need are "fans" pulling the same shit. If you are, knock it off.

[doctorw 0]

Hey Matt. I think you should let your guests join in on the Case Closed segment, providing they come in with an open mind. For last weeks, I'm willing to bet Mike Still would have put the caller's jumbled words into perspective, rather than instinctively teaming up with you on the guy. He seems like a guy with his own opinion.

It's good when there's more than 2 sides to an argument, especially one that isnt that emotionally invested.

Plus it would probably lead to some incredible improv.

 

Love the podcast.

[BrettMorris 1862]

oh shit, I came as soon as I heard! Damn, Spirit Bear, you dun goofed. This is too awkward, even for me.

 

 

 

 

Brett loves forum drama waaay to much to delete an account for something like this.

i can delete accounts? if i had known that, you'd have been long gone

[daveB from Oakland 364]

I can listen to literally thousands of podcasts that revolve around opinion discussions.

 

I can only listen to one podcast for Matt Besser improv comedy.

 

Case Closed is a good occasional segment, but I wouldn't push it, and as a topic of conversation itself, it really doesn't merit a non-humorous 35 minute discussion in an episode.

 

Astartes -- It looks like a lot of people here have taken shots at you already, so I don't wanna go too far in the over-bullying process. But I just wanted to critique your characterization of this segment as "non-humorous". I thought Randy Cohen was funny as shit. And he was able to make Matt crack up, even while he was delivering some tough criticisms to him. So kudos to this Ethicist guy.

 

Disclaimer: I haven't listened to the Jason Collins episode yet. And I haven't read everything in this thread. And I haven't finished listening to this particular episode, I'm still in the middle of the Randy Cohen call. So am i intellectually lazy? Probably yes. Is that an ethical problem. Also probably yes.

[daveB from Oakland 364]

Another ethical question: Are there ethical problems with Randall Cohen casually speculating about possible salacious activity between Connie Chung and David Lettlerman? Answer: most likely yes. Did I totally love hearing about that? Yes, I totally did.

[Shannon 2953]

 

I'm super fucking lenient and only 4 users have ever been banned from here. I will gladly make it 5 for anyone pulling this shit because it annoys the piss out of me.

 

the end.

[Lukas Holmes 2287]

 

I'm super fucking lenient and only 4 users have ever been banned from here. I will gladly make it 5 for anyone pulling this shit because it annoys the piss out of me.

 

the end.

 

{looks at computer screen as he had started to create ILOVESHANNONTHEMODERATOR account}....oh......uh....{presses cancel}

[KajusX 1807]

I have a few things to say about Case Closed:

 

1) I have enjoyed it in the past when humans 2-4 also get to speak during the discussion if they so choose. I don't care how that makes the caller feels. I enjoy CC more when everyone can rattle off whatever they like.

 

2) I like all of the discussion first, then the scenes. I understood in the episode with two guests discussing the Hitler Teapot, the dialogue went on longer than other CC segments, so cutting scenes in made some sense, but I enjoy having all of the info up front first, knowing that the improvisors are pulling from all of it.

 

3) The concept of keeping or losing the Case Closed segment by putting it on the chopping block of Case Closed is an idiotic idea, super-obnxious and sickeningly meta.

 

4) There are currently 81 numbered episodes of i4h, and another 30 are Bonus Eps.

Case Closed premiered on ep 31, and from what I can tell from a cursory search, here are all of them (please include any I missed):

 

31 - Captain Pike: Cyborg?

36 - Matt Did NOT Get Successfully Pranked By an Intern

50.5 - Antique Car Owners Are Terrible Family Men*

59 - Gun Control

62.5 - Matt Will Try Not to Be Mean to Tim Tebow*

65 - What Is Too Soon?

71 - Matt's Dad's Hitler Teapot

80 - Jason Collins: Hero?

81 - Ethical Bullying

 

*BONUS episodes

 

Starting at Episode 31 and counting Bonus Eps, Best Ofs, and Very Special Episodes, there have been 73 episodes total since the inception of Case Closed.

In two instances one Case Closed begat another Case Closed.

It's almost been one year.

73 episodes.

9 total cases.

7 included on the Thursday episodes.

2 on Bonus episodes.

On average, a Case Closed is on every 8th episode of the show.

That is one Case Closed every 5 1/3 weeks.

 

So... what the fuck are you people MOPING ABOUT?

 

Fucking mopes...

[KajusX 1807]

P.S. If you are reading this and haven't spent $4 on Matt's two albums, then SHUT your face.

SUPPORT INDEPENDENT ARTISTS.

[Asteck 1250]

 

3) The concept of keeping or losing the Case Closed segment by putting it on the chopping block of Case Closed is an idiotic idea, super-obnxious and sickeningly meta.

 

 

I'll admit when I suggested this, I didn't consider how pointless actually doing it would be, as any result would likely result in a shit-storm of the super-obnoxious and aggressive comments, either for or against, I'm wishing would end. Honestly I wish there was just some way to put a lid on the whole conversation. Although the same conversation seems to have occurred in every thread following an episode containing a case closed segment, individuals still feel that they're capable of changing a faceless stranger's opinion over the internet. Some will even put idiotic amounts of time (gathering data, making list, etc.) into arguing something they must internally accept will not yield any results.

 

Anyway, I was going to post that while I acknowledge that some of the folks who dislike CC are only mentioning this because they genuinely feel that it is not comedic and therefore not contributing to what their vision of what Matt's podcast should be, they have the option to skip the segment entirely. Unfortunately, coming to the comment section to write a post about why there's no need to write a post about a portion of the show that you can avoid entirely is not only hypocritical, it may also induce illness in meta-averse readers. So I decided not to.

 

That said, thanks so much for your two cents on the idea and for your post altogether, I'm sure in some way they helped lead to a solution