Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3

[PhillipMedoc 648]

Okay, let me see if I can summarize the plot:

 

Papi (as voiced by George Lopez) is married to another chihuahua, Chloe, who is a dog supermodel; they have five puppies. The dog family's lives are upheaved when their owners need to move because the wife gets some high paying job at a fancy hotel (her Latino husband ends up working at the hotel as a... wait for it... landscaper). Papi has to deal with his kids growing up and going to dog school, his wife's busy life as a model, and somehow stop a confusing real estate conspiracy scheme that a couple of the hotel employees are trying to pull off. During all this, Papi's youngest kid, Rosa, feels neglected and Papi decides to throw her a quinceañera. He gets helped planning the party by a flaming gay pug. There's a bunch of other stuff that happens and of course everything works out in the end.

 

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=azwgF7Esq1A

 

I heard about it on a recent Doug Loves Movies and it sounded too bonkers to pass up. And it is. It's pretty bananas, but also fairly funny and watchable if need a break from Only God Forgives or whatever srs bizness you've been into. I really want to subject Jason to this, while I think June and Paul would actually like it. It's got that kind of good kid's movie writing where there's a lot of jokes that are clearly intended for adults -- like when auditioning bands for the quinceañera, they have names like Bark Sabbath, Canine Inch Nails(!), and Houndgarden.

 

You can watch it on Netflix or rent it on Youtube. I know there's this weird moratorium on comedy but I think this one might qualify. Did I not mention there's a super flamboyant gay pug in this?

 

Am I too far gone? Oh god, someone help me.

[Blueman29X 72]

Great post! I think that the first two movies would be game too.

[wakefresh 689]

Excuse me, did I just read that right? You said the puppies were growing up and going to DOG SCHOOL? And did I read this correctly...there are DOG MODELS?!!?

[Blueman29X 72]

Excuse me, did I just read that right? You said the puppies were growing up and going to DOG SCHOOL? And did I read this correctly...there are DOG MODELS?!!?

If there are dog quinceañeras, then I guess pretty much everything goes.

[RyanSz 3140]

If they do this they need to get Brendan Walsh who on one of last week's Doug Loves Movies episodes, professed his love for this movie as well as the first sequel. It would be amazing to see his interaction with the HDTGM crew who I'm sure would rip this apart.

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

If there are dog quinceañeras, then I guess pretty much everything goes.

And is this celebrated when they're 15 in dog years, or is it 15 in human years? How many chihuahuas live to be 15? That's a long time for any dog, period.

[thestray 361]

Would I have to watch the first 2 movies to understand this one? I don't want to come in at the end of a trilogy and not know what's going on.

[Blueman29X 72]

Would I have to watch the first 2 movies to understand this one? I don't want to come in at the end of a trilogy and not know what's going on.

 

I saw the second one before the first. I don't really think it makes much of a difference either way, but it probably helps.

[PhillipMedoc 648]

Would I have to watch the first 2 movies to understand this one? I don't want to come in at the end of a trilogy and not know what's going on.

I think it's best to go in blind, as I did. I don't believe this franchise is a saga in a similar fashion to Twilight or Star Wars.

 

And is this celebrated when they're 15 in dog years, or is it 15 in human years? How many chihuahuas live to be 15? That's a long time for any dog, period.

Well, the popular wisdom is 1 human year is 7 dog years, so I guess a dog gets her quinceañera at just over 2 years. BUT! The Online Dog Year Calculator says:

 

It is a common belief that 1 human year is equal to 7 dog years. That is not very accurate, since dogs reach adulthood within the first couple of years. [...] The formula is: 10.5 dog years per human year for the first 2 years, then 4 dog years per human year for each year after.

Which would mean a year and a half is approximately 15 dog years.

 

Potentially controversial question: If a quinceañera is when a girl becomes a woman, does this mean that when a puppy gets a quinceañera, she's now a bitch?

 

Oh jesus, what am I doing with my life?

[PlanBFromOuterSpace 3138]

So would a dog bar mitzvah be at like 1 year and 3 and a half months or so?

[PhillipMedoc 648]

How many chihuahuas live to be 15? That's a long time for any dog, period.

Maah wife's abuela had a sweet little papillon chihuahua that lived to 14, possibly 15. Granted, it was blind and didn't move from it's little bed; had to be picked up and set it front of its food, set outside to do its business, etc.

 

She also used to have another chihuahua some years ago named Chico that unfortunately got in an accident. So then she got a replacement chihuahua and named him Chico Dos. That one died a few years back and now I'm not sure how many sequels Chico has received since then.

[wyldride 285]

She also used to have another chihuahua some years ago named Chico that unfortunately got in an accident.

 

"Which chihuahua was this? Chico?!? That owl don't know who he's messing with,"

 

[inactiveuser501 168]

C'mon guys, we all know that Dog Quinceaneras are a real thing that has dated back to the Aztec Empire. As a first generation Hispanic-American, I know all the stories from my grandmother and am planning my little dog's big day.

 

Jokes aside, I will probably be a loser and watch this series in canon before I see this movie. Force of habit.

[Blueman29X 72]

I've gotta ask, what determines if a Chihuahua has an accent? George Lopez has one but not everyone else does. Are there German Shepards with German accents? Would Terriers have British accents or Irish accents, if any at all? Can they even have accents if they're just speaking Dog? If so would they have special dog accents or accents that correspond to their breed?

[Blueman29X 72]

So would a dog bar mitzvah be at like 1 year and 3 and a half months or so?

I think this spawns an even more interesting question: if a dog had a Confirmation at approximately 16 months—two years, would it have to be circumcised?

[nathanpierce 400]

Do this movie as an episode and get Brendan Walsh to talk about the gay Pug for an hour.

[RyanSz 3140]

Do this movie as an episode and get Brendan Walsh to talk about the gay Pug for an hour.

Glad I'm not the only one to catch that joy filled rant that he went on.

[PhillipMedoc 648]

I think this spawns an even more interesting question: if a dog had a Confirmation at approximately 16 months—two years, would it have to be circumcised?

JESUS, Kulap.

[Blueman29X 72]

Sorry. Lost my mind for a moment there...

[PhillipMedoc 648]

A review from Netflix:

How they got all those dogs to act so well and look like they were really talking I will never know. This movie is in my top 10 of all movies. I could watch it again and again. Highly recommended!

Yeah, how did they get them to look like they were -- OH RIGHT, FUCKING CGI, DUM-DUM.

 

Another review from Netfucks:

Cute movie but should be under fantasy since it never shows anyone really taking care of the dogs and as such, gives a false impression to young children about the realities of taking care of a pet dog. Otherwise, for a movie that is purely fictitious, well done.

Wow duder, you are taking a movie called Beverly Hills Chihuahua 3 way too seriously.

 

And then there's:

this movie is turbo-tastic even my family loved it

<alpacinovoice> YES! HOOWAH! </alpacinovoice>

[seanotron 2307]

Turbo-tastic!